New grad feeling left out - page 3

by lovelylady3 6,640 Views | 36 Comments

I quit my first nursing job in med surg due to being mistreated. I was there for almost 8 months and I felt like I was being targeted by some charge nurses. They would yell in the hall, refuse to help me, told the director I... Read More


  1. 0
    Quote from Inori
    OK I'm going to keep this short simple and sweet (KISS). I'm a new grad of 6 months and still trying to fit in myself. First off you need to be honest with yourself. What are your strong and weak points, in personal, work, public,

    Your entire post is "me centered' all about me and how I feel how I learn. Try to see it from your bosses and coworker's perspective. What are you there to do? certainly not just nursing and patient care. You are there to learn how to fit in with their team and work with thier team. When in Rome do as Romans do so you must adapt to how they do things there.

    work is work supportive and friendly is nice but should not be something to be expected. Uhm sorry but no crying at work it just makes the bullies think they've won some points and can continue. It sjust not professional. if you need to cry then you either wait until you go home or you keep a straight face until you get to a bathroom /someplace private and cry there.

    you cannot run all decisions big and small with your coworkers, charge nurse because that means you are not taking responsibility instead are passing the work, judgement calls to them. pay attention to how they chose to act with the same info you got. Think on the thought process how they arrived at it. (do this on your own time after work). Next time you do the same thing apply the same process. EIther way you must be comfortable with your own skills.

    No one cares why you cannot perform to standards the only thing that matters is getting results. Making excuses is not solving the problem. "i still have new grad insecurity" no you are a professional registered nurse with a license to protect, according to the law you are held to the same standards as the 25 yr seasoned nurse. Work is work and no one will praise you for the good, right, perfect stuff you do but you will be executed for the slightest wrong.

    ID the problem where are you weak in go home each day and study up on that issue, dunno IV starts? go practice on a string balloon, maniquin, take a few IV classes on your own time, phlebotomy classes helped me get confidence and tricks on getting a vein.

    Problem - can't keep track of what needs to be done when? make a check list, pt on admissions needs to complete 25 things you check off each one of those as you complete them. There is no forgetting just one form when you do it like that.

    Bullying happens unfortunately and you cannot change other people. What you can do is set boundries and let people know when they have crossed them. When someone yells at you, listen with your eyes, and ears what are they really saying? why are they so upset? clearly it frustrates them to the point of yelling so there fore they must really care about that issue and its important to them so do as you would a patient. OK I see your upset, so the problem you have is X, what do you suggest? Therapeutic communication reread your pysch text lots of tips in there.

    Fine they are just plain rude because its part of the game of bully. Two can play. You yell at me, I call for time out, "Stop" I will come back later when you are ready to discuss this calmly. You make sure you go back in a bit. They are sarcastic. Call them on it, "'Oh? I don't understand what do you mean by xyz comment can you explain it more clearly. Thank you. IF they are pointing our your flaws .. you say thank you and ask what can you do to fix it.

    if you learn by asking questions then you need to learn another way such as write the question down go home and look it up in your textbook, company policy procedure manual. This is not school where professors are paid to answer your questions. As your coworker I have my own patient load to do which is probably heavier and more complex than yours because your charge nurse assigned you easier patients due to your level of experience or lack of. Your asking of questions because you want to learn is slowing me down, interrupting my train of thougth and thereby putting my patients and license at risk. SO you ask why am I mad at you? not to mention are you even able to pull your own full pt load if not my workload just went up because i'm your coworker/ charge nurse.

    Orientation ranges from a few weeks to 3 months, 6 months or ocassionally if one is very lucky 9+ months. You are drawing a full nurse's salary however cannot take on a full load so that's costing monies, at 8 months you should be able to function independently, safely, competently and with some confidence.

    As a new grad nurse I know I drove my preceptor crazy with all my questions, but why? i dont understand, but but but, what if this happens, and I'd just like to know. Oh i annoyed her to no end as I was one of the scared newbies so I'd follow her all over asking questions nonstop so she had neither privacy or peace. And each question broke her train of thought as I never thought to look, watch wait and then ask when it was an appropriate time but rather just interrupt whatever she was doing because I had a question. Over time i realized that I already knew the answer but I just wanted the safety and comfort when she made the decision for me. Anyways you will get to the point where you are comfortable in your own assessments, pt care, judgement it just takes time and practice sometimes trial by fire. I'm sure that the me now is not the same one on day one and to the newest hire she's probably wondering how is it that I can just do it so "easily". I think about work before, during after work on weekends uh friday i'm already planning how i'm going to tackle Monday morning.

    Well good luck in finding a new job and this time around try to improve yourself in weak areas, fix those issues before it comes. persistence is key to success you fall you get up, dust yourself of and try again .. and again until you get there. Study up on whatever you need.
    THIS THIS THIS!!! What a wonderful post! OP, print this out and CARRY IT AROUND with you! Everything she says here is 100000% spot on.
  2. 1
    Y'know, this is an interesting topic.

    Personally, I am looking at a very challenging workplace with sequesteration hitting us hard in April. Military members will be working 60-80 hours a week to make up for the civilian workers the government puts on furlough. The sleep will be minimal, the hours will be ridiculous, and the possibility for vacations, passes, or a break of any kind will be essentially nonexistant.

    But I'll get through it. How do I know? Because the nurses I work with are a family. And yeah, make the argument that it's different because I'm in the military, but I worked civilian side before and while it's not quite the same, it is possible to find a supportive environment on the outside where people help/like each other.

    No workplace will be perfect. There will always be that one person or one thing you really don't like. But there are certainly better places than the place you left, OP!
    lovelylady3 likes this.
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    I'm sorry you had to go through this, but if I were you I would just feel blessed to have a job. So many new grads do not, and cannot find a job. I'm sure it was a hard thing to go through, but in time it would've most likely went away and you and everyone else would have gotten over it.

    Every new job is uncomfortable, and takes time to get used to regardless of if its nursing or not. My first PCA job was HARD due to my co-workers. Really hard! I stuck it out though, and ended up getting an opportunity to move to another unit which I loved.

    Everyone is different, and every situation is different. Hopefully you find a new, wonderful job that you love, but at most jobs there will be something you don't love. I always just look at it this way: I love nursing for my patients, and the actual job (will do;I'm still a student) We do. If the environment is hard, just focus on the care you are giving, and let the other BS work out in time. Good luck!
  4. 5
    As a nurse with almost 5 years experience, it always shocks me when other experienced RNs say that new nurses ask too many questions as though it's a bad thing.

    Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I tell my new nurses to ask me any questions they have and if I don't know the answer, I cop to it and we go ask a different nurse or the doc on rounds.

    If you find it annoying to the point of belittling the new nurse or your pride is too big so that you can't admit when you don't know the answer (because nobody knows everything), then you shouldn't be precepting new nurses, IMO.
  5. 1
    I was hazed at my first job, and when I was a CNA, had a charge nurse who was quite open about her dislike of me because I was thin and she was anything but. That charge nurses are supported in being verbally abusive of you says poor things about your current employer. Dig in your heels, grit your teeth, do things their way and pretend to agree with them (and avoid your charge nurses). and show them what you're really made of - then take that newly gained expertise and confidence elsewhere, where you will be appreciated. Beware of magnet hospitals, though - they tend to practice one-size-fits-all medicine - AND nursing.
    lovelylady3 likes this.
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    Quote from babyRN.
    As a nurse with almost 5 years experience, it always shocks me when other experienced RNs say that new nurses ask too many questions as though it's a bad thing.

    Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I tell my new nurses to ask me any questions they have and if I don't know the answer, I cop to it and we go ask a different nurse or the doc on rounds.

    If you find it annoying to the point of belittling the new nurse or your pride is too big so that you can't admit when you don't know the answer (because nobody knows everything), then you shouldn't be precepting new nurses, IMO.


    I agree! I love helping nursing students. Passing on what I have learned to others is my favorite part of nursing! I can't wait until I get enough experience to be a preceptor!
  7. 3
    Quote from lovelylady3

    I agree! I love helping nursing students. Passing on what I have learned to others is my favorite part of nursing! I can't wait until I get enough experience to be a preceptor!
    But nobody said we don't like to be asked questions by new grads. What most of us have said is to change the approach with the questions. Present a possible solution with your question to help show your critical thinking skills as well as to help us determine what needs work...
    joanna73, Ruby Vee, and nurse_maya28 like this.
  8. 3
    From another poster: ["hmmm you seem very defensive and you seem to have a very entitled attitude for a rather new nurse. As others have said you need to take a good long look at yourself first, because if you think that everyone else is the problem and you are the poor victim all the time, chances are YOU are actually the problem. I can only imagine how obnoxious that attitude must have been to your co-workers trying to orient/ deal with you. YOu would have driven me NUTS. Maybe take your ego out of the equation and realize that if you stop complaining, you might actually learn something. This attitude must be fostered by the schools now, because we see more and more of it in new grads and its recipe for disaster everytime. newsflash, you aren't entitled to respect, you have to earn it, and you miss have NOT."]

    So.....umm, have a bad day? Not sure I could summon this much vitriol for someone on a message board. Also, do you make your patients earn your respect too or is that just reserved for your coworkers?

    Perhaps, just perhaps if we treated other nurses with the same respect we automatically give to patients, doctors, family members, etc, we might find this field a little more fulfilling and less emotionally taxing. Perhaps the rates of burnout would be a bit lower. My God, some of you guys are like a bunch of jackals on a wounded antelope. Calm the heck down.
    Last edit by MECO28 on Mar 7, '13 : Reason: clarification
  9. 1
    Quote from MECO28
    From another poster: ["hmmm you seem very defensive and you seem to have a very entitled attitude for a rather new nurse. As others have said you need to take a good long look at yourself first, because if you think that everyone else is the problem and you are the poor victim all the time, chances are YOU are actually the problem. I can only imagine how obnoxious that attitude must have been to your co-workers trying to orient/ deal with you. YOu would have driven me NUTS. Maybe take your ego out of the equation and realize that if you stop complaining, you might actually learn something. This attitude must be fostered by the schools now, because we see more and more of it in new grads and its recipe for disaster everytime. newsflash, you aren't entitled to respect, you have to earn it, and you miss have NOT."]

    So.....umm, have a bad day? Not sure I could summon this much vitriol for someone on a message board. Also, do you make your patients earn your respect too or is that just reserved for your coworkers?

    Perhaps, just perhaps if we treated other nurses with the same respect we automatically give to patients, doctors, family members, etc, we might find this field a little more fulfilling and less emotionally taxing. Perhaps the rates of burnout would be a bit lower. My God, some of you guys are like a bunch of jackals on a wounded antelope. Calm the heck down.
    Yes I'm sure it's very likely that everyone else was the problem at her job and that she was the perfect nurse and everyone else was jealous... yes I bet that's what happened. Just because I was more blunt here then everyone else, doesn't mean I don't have a point. You can see by the way OP has responded to the other posters, that she is not great at taking even carefully worded critiques well - its still all about how mean everyone else was and how awesome she was. I would also guess she has spun this post to put herself in the best light. I wonder if her manager or co-workers came in here and posted asking how to deal with a new hire that acted like a know-it-all and was difficult to orient and was refusing a new plan to address issues, would be responded to? There are always 2 sides to every story and reading between lines here I'm confident that she is no where near as innocent as she claims to be.
    BTW thatnks for rolling your eyes at me - that's very mature to call names and roll ones eyes. Do you react that way to co-workers, patient's and doctors too when they don't agree with you? Perhaps I am the only lucky one.
    Ruby Vee likes this.
  10. 2
    My point was that your reply was a bit harsh for someone you don't know. I did not call you a name; I merely made a commentary on your behavior. I looked at the thread and nowhere does it appear that the OP was oversensitive to remarks made by others unless they were nasty.

    Having just gone through a grueling first year, I can relate to the OP. There is a lot of bullying in nursing and while constructive criticism is fine, her experience sounded more like hazing. Not everyone who has a tough time at work is playing the victim and you seem to have a real chip on your shoulder about new grads.


    (I will refrain from adding any offensive smiley faces)
    bowlofsurreal and lovelylady3 like this.


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