Bully

  1. I had the most awful night the on Saturday. I work with this man who has been a nurse for 20+ years and is very smart, with a lot to share, but is a bully. He was given an assignment that he did not like and was also charge (which angered him greatly). So from the time the shift started he was complaining and generally making all of our lives miserable. He had a very unstable patient (GI bleed) who required a lot of attention and his other patient (this is ICU) was very time consuming as well. I helped him as much as I could (I was in that room helping him clean up the patient 10+ times), but nothing made him happy. I even took over being charge (which is hysterical as I have been a nurse for 7 months and have no clue what needs to be done as charge...). He did say thank you occasionally, but most of the time he was a jerk. I don't know how to handle him...I went home in tears. When he would go on his rampages, I would just walk away because I was afraid I would say something I would regret or something very unprofessional (although, he is not bothered by being unprofessional). Anyone else put up with a bully?? I am so frustruated!! How do I handle this situation??
    •  
  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   RN BSN 2009
    Well you have to ask yourself some questions, as everyone is entitled to their own bad day. Is he like this often? honestly.. there are going to be days like that as ICU's are stressful. And sometimes as hard as we work we have to realize that we cannot please everyone! Hope everything works out for the best with you.
  4. by   gracie05
    He is like this EVERYTIME he gets busy. I understand people have bad days, I am not immune to being crabby to people when under pressure...but it is not a constant thing. When his patients are stable, he is pleasant to be around for the most part.
  5. by   RN BSN 2009
    I guess we all just react differently when under stress. You can only do as much as you did and I'm sure you make a wonderful team member. After shift is over and everyone dusts off their shoulders I'm sure he thinks back and appreciates what you've done. Maybe on one of the slower days it may be good to have a chat with him and tell him that you are concerned about his stress levels (not good for his health!). Assure him that he has a supportive team behind him to back him up when he needs.
  6. by   gracie05
    You may be right about talking to him when things are quiet. Thanks for listening!
  7. by   willdgate
    Let him look like a fool, but if he personally attacks you, you defend yourself. Male nurses are interesting
  8. by   youngatheart
    Can you schedule yourself on a different workday so you don't have to work with him? After shift let him know how you felt being treated like that. I know there are some very difficult people to work with out their and like you most times I ignore them or let it fly right over me, but eventually it wears on you and you must confront, no one needs to be treated like that. maybe he needs to move on if he is that stressed out
  9. by   gracie05
    Unfortunately, there is not a way for me to change my schedule...I have classes. I usually can deal with him, but that night he was in rare form. He does look like a jerk all the time and people know what he is like, it is no secret. I just wonder if he goes home and thinks about how he acts...I am assuming he doesn't because he does it time and again. I have to say that the rest of the nurses I work with are awesome and helpful! One bad seed is to be expected, I guess.
  10. by   smile123
    Quote from gracie05
    I had the most awful night the on Saturday. I work with this man who has been a nurse for 20+ years and is very smart, with a lot to share, but is a bully. He was given an assignment that he did not like and was also charge (which angered him greatly). So from the time the shift started he was complaining and generally making all of our lives miserable. He had a very unstable patient (GI bleed) who required a lot of attention and his other patient (this is ICU) was very time consuming as well. I helped him as much as I could (I was in that room helping him clean up the patient 10+ times), but nothing made him happy. I even took over being charge (which is hysterical as I have been a nurse for 7 months and have no clue what needs to be done as charge...). He did say thank you occasionally, but most of the time he was a jerk. I don't know how to handle him...I went home in tears. When he would go on his rampages, I would just walk away because I was afraid I would say something I would regret or something very unprofessional (although, he is not bothered by being unprofessional). Anyone else put up with a bully?? I am so frustruated!! How do I handle this situation??
    Wait a minute. Step back. Can't you talk to your charge nurse or nurse manager about it? You shouldn't have to put up with this type of verbal abuse. Take a stand for yourself and go up your chain of command. You can do it!
  11. by   gracie05
    He came in last night and told me that I was a "trooper" the other night. I think that was his way of apologizing...what a joke. Many people have gone to the charge nurse, managers, etc., but nothing is ever done.
  12. by   smile123
    Quote from gracie05
    He came in last night and told me that I was a "trooper" the other night. I think that was his way of apologizing...what a joke. Many people have gone to the charge nurse, managers, etc., but nothing is ever done.
    The point is, did YOU go to charge nurse or the unit manager and report it? It's up to you. It's also so you don't end up taking that type of abuse. We care about you.
  13. by   TheCommuter
    Haven't you ever noticed that workplace bullies pick on some specific people while leaving other employees alone? It's not rocket science.

    Bullies test everyone eventually. However, they continue to pick at the people who will not stand up for themselves. A person who stands up and tactfully faces the bully will typically be left alone because (s)he has proven to be too difficult of a target. Workplace bullies pick on coworkers who are easy targets. These 'easy marks' will not stand up for themselves, are afraid to speak up, and act timidly.

    Instead of avoiding this man, it is time to nip it in the bud. If he insults you or screams, instruct him to refrain from speaking to you in that manner. Otherwise, certain individuals will continue to bully those who permit the 'bullying' to occur.
  14. by   Soup Turtle
    Quote from TheCommuter
    Haven't you ever noticed that workplace bullies pick on some specific people while leaving other employees alone? It's not rocket science.

    Bullies test everyone eventually. However, they continue to pick at the people who will not stand up for themselves. A person who stands up and tactfully faces the bully will typically be left alone because (s)he has proven to be too difficult of a target. Workplace bullies pick on coworkers who are easy targets. These 'easy marks' will not stand up for themselves, are afraid to speak up, and act timidly.

    Instead of avoiding this man, it is time to nip it in the bud. If he insults you or screams, instruct him to refrain from speaking to you in that manner. Otherwise, certain individuals will continue to bully those who permit the 'bullying' to occur.

    That is soooo true! Bullies can rarely take what they dish out.

close