When adults whine....

Specialties Emergency

Published

[vent]...I swear to God, I cannot handle it when children whine, but grown adults? Does this drive anyone else crazy? :uhoh3:

I get that you're not feeling well, I get that you hurt, I get that you're scared, tired, hungry, etc. etc. etc., and I will do my darndest to get you feeling better! Warm blanket? No problem! Cup of ice chips? No problem (unless you're NPO!)! A little Zofran and Dilaudid? Here ya go!

But please, for the love of all that is holy, can you stop with the whining????

[/vent]

Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.
I really hope you are never the one in pain, the one who woke up paralyzed, the one who is scared, who has no clue what is going on.... the one who has never before been in the hospital, the one who medication does not seem to help... I hope you are never the one that wonders if they will ever feel normal again... the one who wonders if they will make it out of the hospital alive...

The one who has bills to pay, and faces losing their job because they are in the hospital. I hope you don't have children at home that you are worried about them making it to school on time, or them acting out because they, too, are scared because mommy or daddy is in the hospital...

I hope you never have to know what that kind of fear feels like, because I'm sure you will be whining.

ANYone can give meds... ANYone can get a warm blanket... it takes true patience and compassion for your patients to lend an ear for 5 minutes, talk to them, help them understand what is going on, allow THEM to vent... that is where the HOLISTIC side of nursing comes into play, not the "trained monkey" side.

Just a pt whining caused you to come to a forum to whine, and it is not something that you have to bring home from work with you... Now, try and put yourself in their position where they have REAL fears and reasons to "whine".

I don't see how the examples you gave would fit into the whiney category.....not at all what I feel like the posted is speaking of. For someone who presents as so compassionate I am not feeling it...the poster is venting!

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Demylynated, I DO understand your points. It is amazing how far a little therapeutic listening or even communication can go with a whining patient. MOST of them DO need an ear to bend for a while. I am all there with you on that! Sometimes the whiniest only need to be heard. They don't even need to solve anything yet. I honor that. But you must admit, there are some who do have personality disorders and no amount of your time, attention, empathy or warm blankets and hot cocoa will stop them. They just enjoy whining.

Sometimes, when the whiner really doesn't have anything to whine about (it happens!); I will throw in a little tragic , sad story about someone who has REALLY suffered. I don't make it a comparison, but try to tailor some kind of moral about life so they can maybe glimpse that their's is not too bad. After all, 50 family members have been here today, your room is full of flowers, and your husband is waiting on you hand and foot even though he can barely hear, see, or walk.

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I don't see how the examples you gave would fit into the whiney category.....not at all what I feel like the posted is speaking of. For someone who presents as so compassionate I am not feeling it...the poster is venting!

Thanks for getting it! :)

This is what I mean by "whining", nothing more, nothing less.

whine (hwimacr.gifn, wimacr.gifn)v. whined, whin-ing, whines

v.intr.

1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.

2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.

3. To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining.

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Specializes in Addiction, Psych, Geri, Hospice, MedSurg.
Thanks for getting it! :)

This is what I mean by "whining", nothing more, nothing less.

whine (hwimacr.gifn, wimacr.gifn)v. whined, whin-ing, whines

v.intr.

1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.

I guess, this is the one I was addressing. I don't necessarily see crying in pain and fear as whining insofar as I addressed in my post.

2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.

This one, I understand - although, I guess I am lucky. I don't see it much. Well, I suppose I do with my addiction patients, however, these are people who stopped growing (mentally) when they started using... so in essence, I am dealing with 15 year old children. I overlook it.

3. To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining.

This one, I've never had the pleasure. "Jet engine whining," I think I would get security to escort them out.

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When an adult starts whining ....my eyes roll, my head starts shaking, I suddenly go deaf, and my feet automatically go in different direction! Its like a reflex....I have no control! :D Please just ask in a normal voice & tone for what you need.....you'll get it a lot faster!

This. It's the tone of voice that constitutes whining, not expressing one's needs.

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I guess, this is the one I was addressing. I don't necessarily see crying in pain and fear as whining insofar as I addressed in my post.

Then you missed my point. I'm not talking about crying in pain and fear. Please re-read the definition.

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Specializes in ER.
I really hope you are never the one in pain, the one who woke up paralyzed, the one who is scared, who has no clue what is going on.... the one who has never before been in the hospital, the one who medication does not seem to help... I hope you are never the one that wonders if they will ever feel normal again... the one who wonders if they will make it out of the hospital alive...

The one who has bills to pay, and faces losing their job because they are in the hospital. I hope you don't have children at home that you are worried about them making it to school on time, or them acting out because they, too, are scared because mommy or daddy is in the hospital...

I hope you never have to know what that kind of fear feels like, because I'm sure you will be whining.

ANYone can give meds... ANYone can get a warm blanket... it takes true patience and compassion for your patients to lend an ear for 5 minutes, talk to them, help them understand what is going on, allow THEM to vent... that is where the HOLISTIC side of nursing comes into play, not the "trained monkey" side.

Just a pt whining caused you to come to a forum to whine, and it is not something that you have to bring home from work with you... Now, try and put yourself in their position where they have REAL fears and reasons to "whine".

Stargazer isn't whining, she's venting. Big difference.

The poster isn't referring to legitimately ill people, she is referring to people who come in and have enough energy and reserve to literally whine, moan and groan about everything, plus their illness and symptoms, which are exaggerated..

If they can do all that whining, they are not that sick.

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Specializes in DOU.

The only thing worse than a whiny patient is the even WHINIER mother of a whiny patient.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
Stargazer isn't whining, she's venting. Big difference.

The poster isn't referring to legitimately ill people, she is referring to people who come in and have enough energy and reserve to literally whine, moan and groan about everything, plus their illness and symptoms, which are exaggerated..

If they can do all that whining, they are not that sick.

Exactly. Star, I get it, Before I started working in the ER, I worked on a med surg unit and we had some prize whiners. Some that we had to rotate from nurse to nurse, because one nurse couldn't handle them for more than a few days at a time.

I have been the pt terrified waiting on a heart cath, I have been in the hospital for weeks at a time, and I have been in the ICU after having a CVA. Whining doesn't help anyone get a point across as an adult. There is a difference in verbalizing a concern or need - and the jet engine type whine that u can hear in your sleep after getting off your shift.

I get ur point, Star, and agree - and we do need to be able to vent about things like that -

Anne, RNC :smackingf

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Thanks, guys. It helps to know other people understand and aren't judging.

I have seen bodies, young and old, mangled by car crashes, heavy machinery, freak accidents, falls or jumps from heights, gunshots, stabbings; I have seen dead babies, children with skull fractures, some head wounds you wouldn't believe, a young man with his face shattered beyond recognition; I have seen cardiac arrests, debilitating strokes, electrocutions, near drownings, amputations, successful (and many unsuccessful but impressive) suicide attempts...shall I continue?

You don't think that I am *acutely* aware of what horrible things can befall my friends, my parents, my siblings, my chidren, my lover, my SELF?

For anyone to imply that I lack empathy for what the victims and their families endure in these situations, simply because I chose to vent about a frustrating aspect of my workday shows such a complete and total level of ignorance and holier than thou-ness that I can only shake my head in utter amazement.

Don't you dare lecture me on therapeutic communication until you have been the one reassuring the pediatric trauma patient's mother as you push the sedative and paralytic into his little vein so the doctor can intubate him.

Seriously!!!:madface::madface::madface:

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I think it's more frustrating than anything with pts like this because a lot of the time there isn't a whole lot you can do. Especially when it's since the md's don't wanna order pain meds or something else out of your hands.

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Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.
Thanks, guys. It helps to know other people understand and aren't judging.

I have seen bodies, young and old, mangled by car crashes, heavy machinery, freak accidents, falls or jumps from heights, gunshots, stabbings; I have seen dead babies, children with skull fractures, some head wounds you wouldn't believe, a young man with his face shattered beyond recognition; I have seen cardiac arrests, debilitating strokes, electrocutions, near drownings, amputations, successful (and many unsuccessful but impressive) suicide attempts...shall I continue?

You don't think that I am *acutely* aware of what horrible things can befall my friends, my parents, my siblings, my chidren, my lover, my SELF?

For anyone to imply that I lack empathy for what the victims and their families endure in these situations, simply because I chose to vent about a frustrating aspect of my workday shows such a complete and total level of ignorance and holier than thou-ness that I can only shake my head in utter amazement.

Don't you dare lecture me on therapeutic communication until you have been the one reassuring the pediatric trauma patient's mother as you push the sedative and paralytic into his little vein so the doctor can intubate him.

Seriously!!!:madface::madface::madface:

I get you so completely. I know how it feels to desperately try to save the mangled child hit by a car :crying2:.....and to hear the heart wrenching screams that do not even sound human coming from the mother....just to have the next pt complain in that high pitched voice because they had to wait for some trival nonsense. So you vent, and maybe we can have a good laugh, share stories, then go back, and do it all over again! :hug:

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