a woman had wrecked her car into a tree. when we arrived the police and firefighters had formed a cordon around the victim, who was on the side of the road, ambulatory and completely naked. She kept pointing at the tree and yelling "I want that man arrested!" (minor damage, subsequently was found to have no closed head injury and extensive mental hx) When we were immobilizing her, I asked if she had any ID and she put her fingers into her vagina, producing 23 cents in change. I said "thank you" and put it in a specimen bag. We tried to get the security guards at the hospital to log it but they would have NOTHING to do with it!!
that's about the weirdest thing...but I have heard a radiography student ask how a man had "sat on a pickle".
another time a man at a frat/keg party put his penis through a ribeye steak bone on a dare, where it became engorged and trapped. He showed up at the ER with a pitched tent and about 100+ onlookers, the MD took one look at it and requested the bone saw. The man freaked and thought they were going to cut his penis off, he started running around the ER with the steak bone still stuck. Eventually he was restrained by some unhappy security guards and it was explained that the saw was for the bone and NOT him.
I forgot.....a young college student presented to the ER by EMS for a lower GI bleed, with blood smeared all over his face. Upon exam he was found to have inserted a dental pick into his rectum.
I asked him why he did it and he quoted me a verse from the New Testament, I honestly can't remember which one it was now.
Double A battery shoved up the end of a Foley cath (where it connects to the bag tubing). Hey! It was leaking. What else was I supposed to do? I sterilized it with alcohol first. Lucky he didn't suffer from acid burns!!
When I worked in interventional radiology, the MRI tech came to get me one day, and was laughing really hard.(WE ALL HAVE THOSE UNPROFESSIONAL MOMENTS AT WORK.) Anyway, this kid came in and said he was having "penis pain" so they did a lower abdominal MRI. Come to find out the kid had part of a wire hanger shoved up his urethra. The tech asked the kid why it was there and the kid said "oh I must have swallowed it". (poor kid) So they sent the kid off to the ER. To make a long story short, we did a little research, and finally the ER docs got back with us. The reason the kid (and supposedly other kids) put wire hangers into their urethras is to recieve instant orgasm. They place the wire hanger up the urethra and let it hit the prostate gland. Then they put a battery on the other end of the wire hanger and some how get an electric shock, which provides stimulation to the prostate gland. ANYWAY!!!!!!!!! I'm just sayin'....LOL!
I APPLAUD YOU KID!
When I was a student, I pulled back a patient's sheet to do my assessment and he had been eating milk duds, and had spilled them all over himself and the bed. Needless to say, I didn't think they were milk duds at first glance. (Who would??)
I found a grocery bag and some newspapers in a patient's butt crack.
And the handful of accidental slip and falls that result in foreign objects like lighbulbs and small electronics getting stuck in rectums.