Strange things found on (or in) a pt.

Specialties Emergency

Published

I've always wondered, especially after hearing about this guy who brought a snake into the ER----what is the strangest thing you've ever found on (or in) a patient?

Specializes in Emergency Dept, M/S.
little old lady admitted to the icu for r/o mi. her husband brought her in. when the dinner trays came, i asked her if her husband had brought her teeth along. "oh, no, honey," she said. "they're right here." and whipped up her gown and extracted the teeth from her nether regions and popped them into her mouth. yuk!

i've also seen artificial eyes stored in the same spot.

ewwwww!! :no:

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Just recently I had a pt with a vibrator in his rectum......still running! We could hear it and feel it running while palpating his abdomen. Poor guy was soooooo embarrassed.

I'll bet he was embarrased. I think this would make a great Energizer battery commercial. :D

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Specializes in ER/SICU/Med-Surg/Ortho/Trauma/Flight.

Ive had small furry animals.

Ive seen the wire hanger in the urethra.

Ive had a cop brought in who shoved his pistol in the fron of his pants and accidently shot his you know what off! OUCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its great working in inner city st.louis lol!!!!!!!!!!

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Specializes in ER/SICU/Med-Surg/Ortho/Trauma/Flight.

Ok Ive also had this 400+ lb. woman come in with a yeast infection, Yeah I know not strange yet but Im not done, anyway I take her back to the gyn room and I get a female nurse, me, and then the docs came in a med student, intern, and resident, oh great we have a show goin wonderful, I only requested the intern and I get all 3, well I and carla my best friend we set up for them, well anyways what we see is amazing, she came in complaining of discharge, well it just so happens we see this large brown like plant growing thing and we think tumor, well anyways she tells us its a sweet potato and her mother told her to put it there because its supposed to stop the drippage lol, and well we pull it out and there is some discharge or shall I say drippage lol, anyway our residents and attendings have got this habit going on us nurses are trying to break, yes they will actually stick there nose right up to any pus or drainage to see if it smells infectious which is gross if you ask me, well our great resident tells our lovely student to do this, hold it lol, anyways he goes to do this particular sniff test when its like a god send she goes into a full gran mal seizure and her legs lock around his head, now all of us are laughing so hard we cant help him I and carla are on the floor rolling, the intern over by the sink laughing his guts out and the resident trying but laughing to hard to do anything, to pull these massive legs apart, well and Im thinking oh god Im supervisor what am I going to tell this poor kids parents, "Oh Im sorry but your son died while examining a patient you see he stuck his nose in her cooch because of a lady partsl infection and she had a seizure and suffocated him with her legs, anyway I finally got some ativan in her and her legs pried off his head. lol, hes alright except that carla and me still laugh everytime we see him now, hes an attending.

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Specializes in 1year medical surgical, 8 years ER..

Regarding the 400 + female pt? I have never read anything so blanking funny. I thought I had some funny stories. This one tops any out there. OMG!!! Hillarious! What a visual. I'm still laughing. The poor Dr. And OMG What is wrong with these people? I don't think I have seen anything that compares.:chuckle

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Specializes in Post Anesthesia.

NURSETIMS-"When I worked in interventional radiology, the MRI tech came to get me one day, and was laughing really hard.(WE ALL HAVE THOSE UNPROFESSIONAL MOMENTS AT WORK.) Anyway, this kid came in and said he was having "member pain" so they did a lower abdominal MRI. Come to find out the kid had part of a wire hanger shoved up his urethra. The tech asked the kid why it was there and the kid said "oh I must have swallowed it". (poor kid) So they sent the kid off to the ER. To make a long story short, we did a little research, and finally the ER docs got back with us. The reason the kid (and supposedly other kids) put wire hangers into their urethras is to recieve instant orgasm. They place the wire hanger up the urethra and let it hit the prostate gland. Then they put a battery on the other end of the wire hanger and some how get an electric shock, which provides stimulation to the prostate gland. ANYWAY!!!!!!!!! I'm just sayin'....LOL!"

Woludn't it be more fun and a lot easier just to achieve an orgasm the old fashioned way- by hand so to speek. These kids now a-days are so technology dependent

they can't enjoy anything that dosen't come plugged in or with batteries!

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Ok Ive also had this 400+ lb. woman come in with a yeast infection, Yeah I know not strange yet but Im not done, anyway I take her back to the gyn room and I get a female nurse, me, and then the docs came in a med student, intern, and resident, oh great we have a show goin wonderful, I only requested the intern and I get all 3, well I and carla my best friend we set up for them, well anyways what we see is amazing, she came in complaining of discharge, well it just so happens we see this large brown like plant growing thing and we think tumor, well anyways she tells us its a sweet potato and her mother told her to put it there because its supposed to stop the drippage lol, and well we pull it out and there is some discharge or shall I say drippage lol, anyway our residents and attendings have got this habit going on us nurses are trying to break, yes they will actually stick there nose right up to any pus or drainage to see if it smells infectious which is gross if you ask me, well our great resident tells our lovely student to do this, hold it lol, anyways he goes to do this particular sniff test when its like a god send she goes into a full gran mal seizure and her legs lock around his head, now all of us are laughing so hard we cant help him I and carla are on the floor rolling, the intern over by the sink laughing his guts out and the resident trying but laughing to hard to do anything, to pull these massive legs apart, well and Im thinking oh god Im supervisor what am I going to tell this poor kids parents, "Oh Im sorry but your son died while examining a patient you see he stuck his nose in her cooch because of a lady partsl infection and she had a seizure and suffocated him with her legs, anyway I finally got some ativan in her and her legs pried off his head. lol, hes alright except that carla and me still laugh everytime we see him now, hes an attending.

This is a bit OT but I hope you will understand. It's not work safe either.

I once worked at this small hospital where it was quite well known that one of the ER docs was a recovering alcoholic. No big deal, except for how he hit bottom.

There was a woman who once worked at this hospital (incredibly, she left for other reasons) about whom it was common knowledge that she would have sex with any man who asked. Dr. Alcoholic asked her to give him oral pleasure in an ER cubicle, and they pulled the curtain and she proceeded to do that, and she had a seizure and nearly bit it off.

Yes, they had to do the Ativan, etc. thing to release her grip.

:bugeyes:

He went into treatment after this.

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Specializes in 1year medical surgical, 8 years ER..

Since finding this web site and reading about the 400+ sz story. I can't tell how many people I told about the site. In Regards to the Dr. ETOH, and his Ms. Mishap, It's sad that people behave like that on the job. So sad it took drastic measures for him to wake up. OUCH !!

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Since finding this web site and reading about the 400+ sz story. I can't tell how many people I told about the site. In Regards to the Dr. ETOH, and his Ms. Mishap, It's sad that people behave like that on the job. So sad it took drastic measures for him to wake up. OUCH !!

Guess I forgot to mention that the woman had a known seizure disorder that was poorly controlled.

Ever seen "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? Could you imagine kids watching that and thinking people really act like that at work - especially that scene where the guy shoves a camcorder down his pants and his bare tushie bounces around on 20 screens?

:lol2:

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Ok, have a few. I work pedi- kids do the darndest things!!!

Had a kid come - about 3-4 yrs old - as a visitor. Mom asked if I could take his temp (don't usually, but he was burning up!) Temp was 105, so I sent mom and kid to ER. He was subsequently admitted with pneumonia... secondary to an aspirated diamond stud earring!

Also had a kid with an aspirated safety pin, opened up in lung, with pointed end up. His was a little more complicated extrication than the earring was!

My own nephew (just turned 4) had recurring/ongoing sinus infections for several months in spite of antibiotics - always on one side. I went to a follow up with the ENT with him and he was scheduled for surgery to scope his sinus passages. Doc found a crayon tip in his nostril. Worse yet, the Doc told us one reason he wanted to scope him was related to another pt experience. He had a 25 yr old woman who came to see him who stated she could never remember being able to breathe thru one nostril. He did surgery and found a large calcified mass. He removed it, sent it to pathology - report came back as a crayon at the center of the mass. Yuck!! I wonder how long it had been there!

One of the most unusual pt problem I've seen was the 29 yr old who had a throat hemorrhage - caused by the attempted removal of a brillo pad from the back of her throat. She was smoking crack, filtered thru the brillo pad came loose and embedded in the back of her throat. Her dear boyfriend attempted to remove it using a screwdiver, hence the tears to the back of throat, causing said hemorrhage. Geez, what some people won't do!

:no:

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Specializes in Neonatal ICU (Cardiothoracic).

While I was working in the ED, we had a few interesting cases.

One was a rather portly man and his equally portly girlfriend who were apparently trying out a new woman-on-top move, when she lost her balance, and sat down, HARD on his wee-wee, literally "breaking" it. The thing looked like a broken twig... it took a few hours of surgery we heard later to straighten it back up!

Another case involved a 40ish y/o man who came in with a whole unpeeled, unlubricated baking potato in his rectum. When asked how it happened, (like we didn't know) he claimed he was "gardening," and lost his balance, falling on the potato in the garden. Yeah.

The best was a 20 year old guy who lived with his parents. He came in with a half-full 20 oz bottle of V8 Fusion in his descending colon. He then went after it with a hanger to attempt to get it out, shredding his colon in the process. The sad thing was that his parents had to come in to be with him during the surgery to remove it. He ended up with a permanent colostomy from that trick.....

Us boys do some weird stuff......

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Specializes in gen icu/ neuro icu/ trauma icu/hdu.
We had a transfer from another hospital come in by squad. EMS called before arriving and I answered the phone for report. EMS: "We're enroute with a 66 year old man who has a stove top stuck to his member" RN: " A what?" EMS: " A stove top" ETA 2 minutes......When the patient arrived through the doors via cot he indeed had a stove top stuck to his member. (I have never seen such a swollen scrotum....you couldn't even see his member) According to the ER doc's dictation..... the patient was at his kitchen counter drinking his morning coffee and decided to "hump the stove". ( I mean really....what made him think that was a good idea)???

Upon swelling of the scrotum he was unable to get off of the stove and luckily a phone to call EMS was near-by. EMS was unable to get him off of the stove and just took the stove top off and brought him to the nearest ER. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen come through the doors. The top of the stove was wider than the cot and it took 4 EMS to wheel him in to keep the stove top level) hahahahaha

The previous ER spent 4 hours trying to get it off and was unsuccessful....hahahahaha.....We got it off luckily.....His fiancee came to pick him up when he was discharged.....snicker snicker.....I wonder if they ever got married.....hahahahaha:chuckle:chuckle:chuckle:chuckle Gives new meaning to Stove Top Stuffing![/quote

Eat your heart out jamie oliver....There is a real naked chef

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