Feeling some heat after a nurse aid was fired...

Specialties Emergency

Published

So, was in a situation where a patient and non-nurse had words regarding non patient care info. Can't get too specific, but it escalated and I intervened.

Apparently the pt complained about this interaction and the non-nurse was terminated. I was told this patient had taken measures and it had gone above immediate management. This non-nurse, apparently, had some issues with management prior to this, that I never knew about. This isn't new for me, as I am usually last to know everything.

So there's a nurse who tries to throw me under the bus for whatever she can (which isn't much, since I am professional and try not to interact with her - usually my small talk, humor, etc) and happens to be friends with said terminated person. I just learned this information and that she felt I was a "ring leader" in getting this person terminated. What the H***. :mad:

It's not necessarily any different than any other nurse/staff person who may just be a witch for no reason, other than they just are that way to other coworkers, but this irked me. I haven't done anything to this person. I am professional with her. I don't need or want to make friends at work, but there's a certain amount of professional courtesy that I expect. I don't usually have to "try" to work well with others, but now I feel like she has it "out" for me. She doesn't know the situation, first hand, of the scenario and it's unfair to judge. I know I can't (and don't have) any inclination to change her mind. I had someone else go to bat for me saying I don't stir any pot and stay out of most drama and have never thrown anyone under the bus. I keep to my business. I like to laugh (appropriately, or sometimes inappropriately!) at work and just work and keep things light when I can.

This person that has this attitude with me and has her own troubles, I'm sure, but it bothers me when someone speaks of me without knowing the truth and makes a judgement. I am professional, do a great job, and don't make any waves, so I am annoyed that someone is trying to start crap with me or hinder/hamper/otherwise mess with my professional credibility. No one was there that was in that situation, or witness to what happened, but me and the terminated person. No one knows the whole story, so how dare anyone blindly stand up for your friend when you don't even know the half of it. It is ignorant.

My usual M.O. is to be courteous, professional and go about my work. If I need a team member, then I ask for help, if I don't, then I don't. I don't speak with this person. I don't even make casual small talk anymore, when I normally do with anyone. I essentially cut someone out of my life if you're only there to create problems. I don't like to have to do this, but we have to protect ourselves. It's sad when we're in a high stress, professional atmosphere to have to deal with adolescent drama. You have to have a certain amount of reliance on your coworkers, which I don't feel I have with this person. I don't trust her. That's not a comfortable place to be in...

Specializes in ER.
You have the right attitude. I understand how uncomfortable this situation would be (been there!), but keep in mind that most of your co-workers and your manager likely already know the truth, based on their experiences with you as opposed to their experiences with her. There are those people who literally can't function (don't know how to behave or deal with life) unless they are stirring a pot somewhere. My guess is you're not the only one she has treated in this manner....you're just the latest. ;) When you're right in the thick of it as the victim of this type of behavior, it's easy to feel as though this person could very well be trashing your hard-earned reputation in the eyes of people you respect. But the truth is, from the outside looking in it's much easier to see who's doing what, and who the problem is.

Don't worry about defending your honor, just stay as far away from her as you can - - unless she is in a position to need/ask for your assistance with something, and then if it were me I would kindly help her! Never go down into the fray; treat her the way she is NOT willing to treat others. Your reward at the end of the day is that you will not be ashamed of who you are, how you treat others, or how well you take care of patients.

Good luck!

JKL33, thank you. Very well written words of encouragement, and you're right. It IS hard to see it from the outside when you're so far inside of the bubble. Thanks again for your input/advice.

Specializes in Emergency.

Years ago someone told me something that I always try to remember in situations like this. They said "You have no power to alter the behaviour of others. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it." I've found this to be incredibly powerful. If I know I have done absolutely nothing with which to reproach myself, I let it go. This person has no right to affect you emotionally- make a choice and don't let them.

Specializes in Emergency, Critical Care Transport.

Keep all of the patients as utmost importance. If it gets really bad, give a red flag to management that you've had trouble, but keep it short and professional (ie "this person and I just do not get along, and I have tried to make things work; I feel uncomfortable"). Document everything. Dot your "i"s and cross your "t"s and don't let her get to a chink in the armor. And good luck. We all have one....

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Sigghhhhh. . . your post sounds exactly like my way of dealing with coworkers right down to "I like to laugh (appropriately, or sometimes inappropriately!) at work and just work and keep things light when I can". It works great most of the time, and sometimes I get so close to jumping into the drama headfirst . .

Most people are normal and her anger will blow off and everything will go back to the previous dynamic, but sometimes there will be a saboteur who wants to keep it up, and will step into your space and your reputation thinking your not engaging is a green light. I hate confrontation, and have an even demeanor, so maybe I draw people to try to push me around.

If you find yourself needing to take her aside and deliver a short and to-the-point message about what won't be happening anymore with lots of eye contact I've never had one not back down. I don't know why that works, but it does.

I hope it doesn't get to that point for you, though.

Specializes in ER.

I can completely understand your point. I don't want to have to talk with her about her behavior, it seems juvenile and exactly how I don't want to handle it. I'm not her PARENT!!! I expect professionalism from all I work with, which must be a high expectation... either that, or she just believes her behavior is acceptable. I do wonder who else suffers with her as well. I haven't taken any time to notice around me of how she treats others.... but perhaps I can take note now. (I'd still prefer not to, since there are more important things for me to focus on....)

Anyhoo, thanks for the advice/info. Very helpful, thank you guys!

Specializes in ER.
Keep all of the patients as utmost importance. If it gets really bad, give a red flag to management that you've had trouble, but keep it short and professional (ie "this person and I just do not get along, and I have tried to make things work; I feel uncomfortable"). Document everything. Dot your "i"s and cross your "t"s and don't let her get to a chink in the armor. And good luck. We all have one....

my hubby actually mentioned that, but in my experience, any mention to management only brings YOU to light, not the issue you are dealing with. Also, this management team is very very adversarial with night staff/management issues. Not a great dynamic, so as long as I stay below the radar, the better. I don't advise going to management for anything unless it's a REAL problem with patient safety and then I feel one better have a real solution or nothing will come of it.

Specializes in icu/er.

atleast one good thing is you know the name of atleast one peron you cant trust. its always good to be aware of the trolls that lurk around on the unit, it ussually dont take long to spot them.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I can completely understand your point. I don't want to have to talk with her about her behavior, it seems juvenile and exactly how I don't want to handle it. I'm not her PARENT!!! I expect professionalism from all I work with, which must be a high expectation... either that, or she just believes her behavior is acceptable. I do wonder who else suffers with her as well. I haven't taken any time to notice around me of how she treats others.... but perhaps I can take note now. (I'd still prefer not to, since there are more important things for me to focus on....)

Anyhoo, thanks for the advice/info. Very helpful, thank you guys!

I expect a certain amount of gossipy behavior and 99% of the time it's just "noise". There was one person in particular who for whatever reason saw me as threatening (I guess?) I never really knew what it was, but enough underhanded comments filtered back combined with a marked tendency to kiss *** with our management finally forced me to confront her directly. I agree about getting management involved, too. Last resort. I'm not a manager but I think I would cringe if too many people came to me with "he said . .she said" like in third grade.

Specializes in ER.
atleast one good thing is you know the name of atleast one peron you cant trust. its always good to be aware of the trolls that lurk around on the unit, it ussually dont take long to spot them.

I agree! Once you find that one troll and those who linger along with said troll, things become a lot clearer of who to put in your "trust" bucket and those to put in your... uh hum... Crap bucket. The haves and the have nots.

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