Does this feeling go away?

Specialties Critical

Published

I'm a new nurse in a very busy Level I ICU.

I have noticed especially since I came off of orientation and am on my own, that I come home completely drained emotionally/mentally even after just one shift. I feel so completely useless my first day off, and frankly I don't want to be around anyone but my husband and sometimes I would rather him not even be home.

I've always been an introvert, but I feel like this job is making me more of an introvert on my days off.

I'm turning down social events left and right on my off days because I know I need a day or two to recover by myself. I feel like when I get off of work I have nothing left to give anyone after being pulled in 399 different directions all day and someone always being in my face needing something.

I'm thankful my husband is low maintenance, but I would eventually like to have a family and I cannot even fathom the idea of coming home to needy children with the way I feel after work.

Is this just part of being a new nurse? Or do most nurses feel this way after working? Or maybe I need to find a new, less intense specialty in the long run.

I just don't want to give everything to my job and give my family the "leftovers."

Specializes in Clinical Documentation Specialist, LTC.

I have an 8am-5pm Monday-Friday job in a clinic and most days am absolutely sick of the demands at the end of the day, so I can imagine how you nurses who work in hospitals feel. All I want to do is run to the bedroom and hide under the covers when I get home lol!!

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To the OP:

You are most definitely not alone in feeling this way!! I might even say that if you weren't completely drained, you weren't doing it right.

But if you keep at it, it will get easier. ICU nursing isn't the sort of thing that you can just figure out in a few months. At the same time, it's also not the sort of thing that you can do full time, week after week, and not see yourself progress.

Sometimes, even if you're drained, just make yourself get up, put on some cute clothes, fix your hair, and do something fun with your friends. Reminding yourself that you're still a person, outside of being a nurse, can be more therapeutic and relaxing than a solid 14 hours of sleep.

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To the OP:

You are most definitely not alone in feeling this way!! I might even say that if you weren't completely drained, you weren't doing it right.

But if you keep at it, it will get easier. ICU nursing isn't the sort of thing that you can just figure out in a few months. At the same time, it's also not the sort of thing that you can do full time, week after week, and not see yourself progress.

Sometimes, even if you're drained, just make yourself get up, put on some cute clothes, fix your hair, and do something fun with your friends. Reminding yourself that you're still a person, outside of being a nurse, can be more therapeutic and relaxing than a solid 14 hours of sleep.

I love that! I'm going to try that tomorrow :)

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Specializes in Family Practice, Mental Health.

Does your hospital have an 'Employee Assistance Program' or something like that?

With your new position in the ICU, you're very likely having to draw upon some prior experience of dealing with a difficulty like this that simply does not exist. To explain it another way; you need to "update your coping mechanisms".

I don't know you, so I can only extrapolate from what you've shared in your posts on this thread. You've described yourself as withdrawing from things that you used to enjoy. I truly wish for you to have a successful career in the ICU and hope that you are able to grow and flourish in your position. Part of being an RN is promoting health for yourself as well. (We forget that little nugget frequently in our profession......)

In addition to the EAP route, you could also develop a mentor relationship with a senior/more experienced peer in the ICU.

Know that you are not alone, and you don't have to 'suffer' through anything if you don't want to. There is help out there.

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Does your hospital have an 'Employee Assistance Program' or something like that?

With your new position in the ICU, you're very likely having to draw upon some prior experience of dealing with a difficulty like this that simply does not exist. To explain it another way; you need to "update your coping mechanisms".

I don't know you, so I can only extrapolate from what you've shared in your posts on this thread. You've described yourself as withdrawing from things that you used to enjoy. I truly wish for you to have a successful career in the ICU and hope that you are able to grow and flourish in your position. Part of being an RN is promoting health for yourself as well. (We forget that little nugget frequently in our profession......)

In addition to the EAP route, you could also develop a mentor relationship with a senior/more experienced peer in the ICU.

Know that you are not alone, and you don't have to 'suffer' through anything if you don't want to. There is help out there.

I do have a mentor that I speak with frequently. And I do my best to take care of myself. I eat healthy, sleep as much as I can on my days off, try and exercise and give myself down time.

Maybe I will look into talking to someone professionally.

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Specializes in critical care.

Sounds about right. The completely wiped-out feeling does diminish with time, but will never completely go away. You just learn to work through it. I will say that the mental exhaustion seemed to get much better after a year. Now it is just the physical exhaustion. I work 3 12's a week, and plan on doing absolutely nothing on the 4th (and maybe 5th!) day. That still leaves several full days for being productive and social. I agree with what others have said about just forcing yourself to get out there and do it. You might enjoy going out with coworkers and venting over a drink, or maybe you want to completely forget about work while chilling with friends or family. And speaking of family... I am in the same boat of wanting to start my own. From what others have told me, when you have kids, you adapt because you have no choice!! Those little ones need you. :)

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Ms ICURN14, I'm sorry you feel the way you do. It sounds like you've been thrown in the deep end of the pool w/heavy boots on. You might ask to be transferred to a "step-down" Unit for 6 months until you get your footing under you and then go back to the ICU. Sometimes just getting a little more experience can make a world of difference. In the meantime, when you get home from those shifts that wring you out, remember, it's the Nurses' that have feelings that give the best care and do the best work. They are invested in their Patients and in their careers. You have a heart and it will wear, but you'll persevere if you decompress with a hot bath and time to yourself, a spa treat, and unloading on us. Form an on line group and call it "I'm beat and I need to bleat" or something. The feeling will stay, but the intensity will diminish. But please, don't stop caring. We need you.

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Specializes in ER / ICU.

Transferring to ICU has actually been my escape from feeling that way. I spent the past 3.5 years in the Emergency Department. I love emergency medicine with all my heart, I just don't love the ER at the particular hospital I work at. When I wasn't at work, I would never leave my house. I would stay at home, hang out with my dogs and boyfriend and that was it. The only people I would even speak to anymore was some of my closest friends at work, because they felt the same way. Everyone has differennt stressors and everyone has different stress-reliefs. Right now the ICU is my stress relief. I don't want to promise you and say that it will get better, it might not. Just find the positive things about working in your department. You're learning SO much. And it makes you tough. This is not the profession for the weak-hearted or the one without a backbone. Stay strong :)

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