Dealing with nosey nurses - page 4

by Aviationurse 14,477 Views | 32 Comments

I recently signed in as an agency nurse in a hospital after a year hiatus.....to do other things outside from hospital nursing and why is it that after x5 mins of meeting the incoming nurses.or any nurse that comes your... Read More


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    I know this is an old thread but I get this all the time. When someone asks me how long I've been a nurse I will respond with a why, why do you want to know/what's it to you or tell I them. But if I tell them I turn right back around and ask them the same exact question. If someone asks my salary I will tell them because it is public knowledge on our website as far as starting pay for a float nurse. I again ask the same question. If I get the kid and husband question I answer and again ask them the same exact question. This usually makes them uncomfortable and then a light bulb goes off. Oh yeah maybe I shouldn't ask her these personal questions.

    Usually after the 2nd or 3rd question they stop. Or after the first question when I say why or what's it to you.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
    TiredRN56, jrsRN07, and Aviationurse like this.
  2. 0
    Quote from samadams8
    Be careful. It's a balance between being cordial and positive versus giving too much information. By that I mean, sadly, some people want to get information to use against you in some way. NOT all nurses, of course, are like this. Some are just curious and have their own reasons for wanting to know things. If you are perceived as somehow unapproachable or defensive, it will work against you. If you are too nice and share too much, b/c you are an open person, it can work against you too. Some people are very insecure and for some reason see others as competition or whatever. It's not right, and I think it is part of the horizontal/vertical abuse or bullying that happens WAY too often in nursing. But it's hard, b/c not everyone is like this, and you can be seen as a non-team entitity if you don't walk the tightrope (balance). Remember, perception often is what people make as the reality about you, and not necessarily the true reality. But once they think they have sized their perception up about you--and then share it with enough "others" in the particular unit culture, you can be marked as such--and that can jump up to bite you in the butt. It doesn't matter if it is true of not. Remember that it is the perception they formulate and spread about you, and not the reality that can stand. So many others listen to certain folks, and once these key members formulate something about you, the other nurses or people, rather than being balanced and fair themselves, will go along with the dominate "influencers" in the group. It's a hard reality to deal with--especially if you are a person with your own sense of who you are, and all you want to do is to come into work, do the best job you can, and then go home to live the rest of your life. I grew up with mostly males, so I have often found it tough to deal with certain antics that seem particularly of a catty, female nature. I like the whole, "I'm OK. You're OK" thing. I have been sad to see the level of insecurity that I have in the work place. Seems like almost everywhere you go, someone is afraid someone else will somehow do better than they feel they are doing. It's weird and stressful to me. I think people should just worry about themselves, do the best they can, and try to be supportive of others. Nurses, of all groups of professionals really should be a much more supportive group for each other. I have worked in areas where this was the case, and I loved working with those within the group. People were there for each other and the patients, and they looked out for each other, rather than seeking someone or certain folks out and causing undue drama and grief. Nurses, regardless of the economy, need to stand up and support each other--and strive for balance and fairness. But that is the ideal, and sadly, the ideal is often enough not the case. Makes me so sad.Just try not be defensive, b/c there is also a good chance some folks are just trying to get to know you. I think the expression is, "Be wise as a fox, but gentle as a lamb." Something like that. The Best to you!
    I love your response! I never did understand why in the workplace people get offended if I dont want to divulge much about my personal life. I feel like my co-workers are simply that-not my friends. And even with my friend, I dont discuss much with her. So I totally agree with you especially the part about setting boundaries in what you divulge.
  3. 1
    I've only done 2 travel assignments & was hired by my 1st assignment. It lasted for 3 yrs but was "let go" for vague reasons. Oh well; try to learn from our mistakes, right? This past assignment was pure hell. One of the 1st questions (by the nurse who was orienting me) was, "why did you leave your last job?". It went downhill from there. I sometimes felt I must be speaking a different language as almost all responses to my questions were that I had to get used to doing it their way. That meant I had to get used to no stethoscopes or professional guidelines to pt care. Needless to say I wasn't disappointed when they terminated my contract. I just wished I had beaten them to it. I really don't want to re-hash everything that happened but does this sort of thing happen often? I was really taken back by the unprofessional behavior of many of these nurses. I had way more experience than most of them & wonder if they may have confused experience w/ being a know-it-all. Anyone else out there have similar experience?
    Aviationurse likes this.


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