You would think that with this bad economy people wouldn't be questioning someone (man or woman) working full time. I feel lucky and fortunate to have a job that I love in nursing.
I get the "you're kidding" look more often than not when I say I work full time and I have two 5 year olds and my husband's job takes him out of town.
The nurses I work with aren't surprised-they are my rocks. Why are the teachers, parents at my kids' school, and people at my church so suprised?
My husband is a pilot (that is one reason they think I don't need to work-was told that one straight to my face, lovely!) My response to them:My husband has been laid off twice-each time over a year-could happen again. (plus I love being a nurse)
What are your thoughts? Has this happened to any of you?
I am still single without kids so I can really give advice but I have to say I am surprised that you are being given such a hard time for working full time. You are completely right that with the economy currently the way that it is for someone (even in a two-income household) to be working full time should not be surprising *they have no idea of your current financial situation... You could for all they know also be supporting a parent or a sick sibling* I am sure their are many out there with families currently needing to work 2 jobs to make it. And regardless of the money many parents simply love their work and love their family and choose to do both... when was this a crime .
The truth of the matter is people are simply nosey and no matter what you choose someone will look down on you (only because they themselves are not confident and need somthing to lift them up). Keep doing what's best for you and your family and try not to think to much of what they say. I am very impressed by your hard work it takes a lot to work full time and be a full time mom! :yelclap:
Don't feel like you have to explain your life to anyone, because no one else is paying your bills, cleaning your house, or taking care of the children for you. My daughter is 4 yrs old, getting ready to start kindergarten this fall. My husband is a truck driver & fortunately his work has held on fairly well. But when his work does get slow, the other drivers get to take on more work than he does. His boss sayes that my husband's wife is a nurse, so we don't have to worry about money like the others do. That always really burns me up. People somehow assume that nurses make really great money, but I still find myself in the poorhouse at times.
No matter what you do people will always have something to say about it. When my kids were young people always looked at me funny when I said I didnt work. I was a stay at home mom. I had two young special needs kids and they needed me to be with them. You do what you have to do for the good of your family at that time. Now that the kids are older I work PRN so that I have a flexible schedule. I just recently decided to go full time and start at another hospital. I'll stay PRN also at my current hospital. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for putting the needs of your family first, whether its staying at home or working full time!
Exactly! You do what is best for your family-work or stay at home.
There is always 2 sides to everyone's situation. We moved to a new state last year and no one knew of my husband's 2 previous lay offs. They assumed many things before they made comments. This is why I try to listen more before I:yawn: open my mouth so I don't need to put my foot in it!
I think people think it's odd because you have young kids. Most people want to work as little as poss when their kids are little. You have the rest of your life to work fulltime.
When my kids were born my husband had his first layoff and he was a stay at home dad. I worked 4 evening shifts per week(considered full time) so I was able to be home with my family all day and only miss a few hours of the evening -dad put them to bed every night and they only thought I was gone 3 hours (when you go to bed at 6 or 7, that is). This is an experience that my husband cherishes. I think he is a hero for taking care of 2 infants(twins) at one time 4 evenings per week-Never had any worries about their care when at work. We had no choice but to have me work full time or not pay our bills. Any job my husband applied for he would have made as much per hour as it would cost to have 2 infants in day care.
Are you sure that you aren't over-analyzing their reactions? I think something like 70% of moms work nowadays. You are certainly not in the minority.
I think in this new town there are a LOT more moms that are not working so I am in the minority because I do work full-time. I never had this angst (or attitude from others) in my old state/town. Probably am over-analyzing;)
Otessa, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Moved to a new town, just had twin boys, 3 months old. I have been off work for 7 months related to the pregnancy. I will be starting back to work in a new hospital, new specialty. This to help my poor husband who has been so supportive and working two jobs to get us through. The mom's at school , my older son 8 years old, have also looked at me slanted as they all stay home. I am almost beginning to question myself. Should I jump in this early? I was looking at working weekend nights.
In this day and age many families have both parents working. You never know when one will lose their job and we have come to know that there is no such thing as job security. It depends on your financial situation and really is a personal decision. It is a challenge to keep yourself organized with little ones but many have done this. Most of the stay at home moms when my children were younger did not have an education beyond high school so they did not have a profession that required keeping up with current trends. Do what you feel is best for you and your family.
SweetLemon
213 Posts
I am still single without kids so I can really give advice but I have to say I am surprised that you are being given such a hard time for working full time. You are completely right that with the economy currently the way that it is for someone (even in a two-income household) to be working full time should not be surprising *they have no idea of your current financial situation... You could for all they know also be supporting a parent or a sick sibling* I am sure their are many out there with families currently needing to work 2 jobs to make it. And regardless of the money many parents simply love their work and love their family and choose to do both... when was this a crime
.
The truth of the matter is people are simply nosey and no matter what you choose someone will look down on you (only because they themselves are not confident and need somthing to lift them up). Keep doing what's best for you and your family and try not to think to much of what they say. I am very impressed by your hard work it takes a lot to work full time and be a full time mom! :yelclap: