If a patient asked you to pray with or for them at the bedside, would you?
I had this discussion with some other nurses and the responses were interesting. Some said they would have no problem, others said it was too personal a request for a patient to ask, and others said they would call the chaplain as they felt it is a chaplain function only.
I witnessed one occurence where a patient asked his nurse to pray with him. Without hesistation, she took his hand and prayed a very nice non-denominational prayer. I realize not everyone can or might not want to do this, but it really brought solace to that patient.
This is not an arguement just something to think about. I was laying in bed this morning thinking about, in another context, invocations are frequently led at various non-sectarian gatherings, where beliefs are varied with out offending.
I remember a Jewish Catholic wedding I attended officiated jointly by a priest and a rabbi. When the priest said to the Jewish groom, "repeat after me. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." The groom responded, "In the name of God." The priest prayed in his tradition and the groom in his. Each respecting the other's rights.
I hear much discussion here about praying to gods by other names. Yet, I have NEVER (although I guess it could happen) heard anyone object or offer offence to a prayer addressed to simply, God. Even those who primairly worship a goddess or goddesses acknowledge a god, and are not offended.
I recently attended a Wiccan Wedding where the majority of guest were Catholic and a few other Christians. The ceremony was carried out in full Wiccan tradition without a single guest being offended. I know all of these people intimately and so there is no question of this. Not one walked away feeing they had participated in or witnessed something contrary to their own beliefs.
There have been a number of Wiccan and other religious based weddings where even the parents of the bride and/or groom were wildly opposed to their children's religion and the ceremony was carried out without offending the parents or any others.
but I can and won't shy away from a patient that wants and needs to talk and cry with a shoulder that can bear it.....
religious, agnostic, hell's angel, mentally retarded, atheist, or
specifics of a religion.....if know them I may use them if I am comfortable.....but that is also where the experts should be called in........
the chaplains.......where I am they are great.........
regardless of the denomination or lack of denomination that they are.....they are educated on the specifics of multiple belief systems and treat patients as individuals first then address the holistic nature of their need, then address any specifics if that is requested by the patient and family.....
nothing is forced on the patient.........
and sometimes the chaplains(the great ones), know when to just come in and talk and listen......and get outside "assistance" and not trying to enter every arena.........
but i worked too long tonight, but the hour is late.........and I drone on.............and just getting over a hoopsy whimdinger of a cold/flu.........
so i close for now and try to sleep and dream.........
Beautifully said, micro. My point exactly. Our job is not to take the place of clergy. Yet, we do at times have a place in filling spiritual need. There have been time when I was the only one available as no clergy were able to respond in a timly enough fashion. I've even had them say I don't want clergy I want a nurse to pray with me.
I frequently call clergy but only after asking if the person wants them. Even devoute people have refused their own clergy.
This is such a sensitive area that we must not assume that the person wants clergy but we must offer to call them.
Get this (happend more than once to me) Knowing person is XYZ religion and offered to call a clergy of that faith the person says, "no, call someone from ABC religion." So, I have learned to be real specific when I ask these questions. If there were an avitar that hunched it's shoulders it would go here.
I gave you fair warning my singing would cause you pain. Now do you want me to continue? Cause frankly now that I've started I really like doing it. It is not very often I get the opportunity and if you are perfect pitched, don't assume that the pleasure from singing equals good singing. If you are the singer it doesn't matter. But I warned you.
Oh, I asked a 75 year old woman on admission if she had a religious preference. She replied, "None that I would want my family to know about. I have been know to subscribe to the National Enquire from time to time."
Yes, she did understand the question. She has the most fabulous dry sense of humor.
I think I am in trouble I am understanding your weird styly of posts more and more. I am likeing you more and more. and yes dag nabit. Not only does this stuperd compooter keep blowing up in my face but I think it gave me the flu. You figure it out. I got flu about the same time my couputer got virus. No kidding.
Sorry for the divergence guys. Maybe my coputer need our prayers..
originally posted by traumarus ...i wouldn't want to sing to my pts though, because it would be anything but soothing...they wouldn't ask a second time!!!
Prayer(to me this means something more than the standard let me listen to you lungs, take your vitals, start an iv kind of thing with your patients)............
it is not prayer in the PRAYER KIND OF SENSE OF THE WORD, although sometimes it can be.....
Tonight, actually last night as the time keeps advancing was one of the toughest, but necessary times i have spent recently just sitting by a patient's bedside, holding their hands and face while they cried and then finally slept for a bit again.....not to disclose more as it is too private for them as well as for me.........
Never forget all, just how important we are in what we do and in who we are ............. and for the call and the drive that each of you had to bring you to this field, cause it surely isn't an easy one............
but oh, so important.........
:stone
p.s. sometimes a prayer is a shared tear, just an ear, a shared laugh or a goofy face at just the right time.............(i.e. an understanding above what is seen always.......as what is right in front of us is sometimes just not that great for many of our patients)
for our patients, ourselves and each other.............
:p
micro, RN
1,173 Posts
as always, so few words, but SO GREAT A POINT! dm
:p 