Would anyone mind proofreading my goal statement?

[icudavis]

Hi all!

Just another critical care nurse seeking entrance into a FNP program. I would love to know any opinions on my goal statement. It is suppose to be 3 pages long, and I am having difficulty shortening it. I am just one short paragraph into the fourth page Thanks for the help!

Statement of Purpose

Caring for others became second nature for me at an early age. During my childhood years, I was handed the

responsibility of caring for my terminally ill father. I was not the typical child excited about missing a school day. I was the

atypical child who looked forward to missing school to assist her father to his monthly visits to the veteran's hospital to discuss his health. I was the curious child peeking over her father's shoulders to look at blood test results, radiographic images, and endoscopic videos, attempting to make sense of it all. Of course, caring for my father had its difficult moments. He required constant encouragement to remain compliant in his prescribed diet and medications, and he needed gentle reminders about his physical limitations. He was a strong-willed man who continued to work in the early stages of his illness regardless of the consequences in order to provide for our family. He would tell me, "You always try your best no matter what and you never let anyone, not even doctors, tell you you can't do anything you want to do!"

Years later, my father, still miraculously alive but very ill, sat by my side in a birthing room for 22 hours. He meticulously wiped my forehead with cold washcloths and attempted to feed me ice chips, which I secretly wiped most away from my lap. His wide eyes and shaky hands were evidence of his intake of medication on an empty stomach. His persistent loving care regardless of his own anguish touched my soul. I just did not have the heart to tell him that I could not eat another ice chip, and I was tired of the washcloths on my forehead. Although I suggested multiple times for him to eat and take a nap, he was just too excited to see his first grandchild. A month later, sitting in the funeral parlor with my daughter and husband, I relived the moments I had spent with my father in my mind. As talkative as my father was, he never spoke of feelings or his illness. I wondered if he ever accepted his diagnosis, if he ever spoke of his fears or concerns to anyone. I wondered if he was afraid or relieved in the end. I wondered if anyone held his hand as he was dying since family was not allowed in his room at the time.

Four years later, I graduated from the ------. As I walked upon the stage to receive my degree in nursing, I looked towards my family and imagined my father's presence. Never before had I felt so accomplished and yet so heartbroken. I vowed to myself I would follow in my father's footsteps and give my patients the type of kind, unselfish care he had shown to me. I would be persistent in providing quality support. I would hold my patients' hands and tell them I am here for them. I would take the time to listen to their concerns and complaints and attempt to comfort them as best as I could just as he had tried his best to comfort me.

As a critical care flex nurse for ------Health, I have the unique opportunity to make a difference by caring for a vast range of patients while working in multiple areas of nursing throughout three separate facilities. At times, I even have the pleasure of following my patients throughout their entire hospital stay. I cannot even begin to express how rewarding it is to witness a patient's transformation towards health and to participate in that transformation. I chose ----- Health because of their focus on family-centered care. I have held many hands and listened to many stories; witnessed births and deaths; shared many laughs and cried many tears. I have not developed a love of just one specialty but of caring for all people of all ages both spiritually and physically. It is through these experiences I have developed a desire to become a family nurse practitioner.

With the escalation of chronic illnesses and co-morbidities along with longer life expectancies, the need for early health promotion and disease prevention in families across the life span is even greater. Having time to listen to a patient's history and concerns, much less the worries of concerned family members is becoming more difficult for physicians to achieve due to a number of issues, including high patient loads and inadequate staff support. Family nurse practitioners are an excellent resource to closing these gaps to quality healthcare. As an advanced practitioner, I would have time to build trusting relationships with families, educate them on proper administration of medicine, and help them overcome any learning or related health barriers. I would have more time to listen to concerns and to assist in providing a solution by working collaboratively with other healthcare providers. My goal is not only to provide healthcare to families in a primary care setting but also to offer counseling and teaching in areas of health promotion, chronic disease management, and disease prevention. I want to empower families to take control of their own health. I also plan to assist in eliminating health disparities by obtaining a position in a community clinic serving vulnerable families and by volunteering my services to those in underserved countries. Lastly, my long term goal is to obtain a doctorate in nursing in order to deliver better patient outcomes and to be equipped for future healthcare changes.

My nursing and life encounters have well prepared me for the demands involved in becoming a family nurse practitioner. I have the leadership, communication, and critical thinking skills required to be successful. I have learned how to work independently as well as with a multidisciplinary team of health professionals. My communication skills have grown immensely since I am interacting with a more diverse patient population and different nursing and medical staff as well. Being able to quickly adapt to unfamiliar or crisis situations and the ability to modify nursing implications to meet current patient needs are two important skills I have mastered. I also developed time management skills at an early age: juggling work, family, and school while maintaining a high grade point average.

It was not a difficult choice on where I wanted to continue my professional goals. ______ graduate program is my first choice. The undergraduate program well prepared me to be competent in the nursing profession. I have the same expectations the graduate program will also equip me with the tools I need to successfully advance my career. Professors at _____ are examples of true nursing leadership. Their love for the nursing profession is revealed through lectures, guidance, research, and national recognition in their areas of expertise. Based on the observance of passion from professors of past instruction, I look forward to embracing the challenges my classes may offer and expanding my intellectual curiosity.

[cmo421]

Hi all!

Just another critical care nurse seeking entrance into a FNP program. I would love to know any opinions on my goal statement. It is suppose to be 3 pages long, and I am having difficulty shortening it. I am just one short paragraph into the fourth page Thanks for the help!

Statement of Purpose

Caring for others became second nature for me at an early age. During my childhood years, I was handed the

responsibility of caring for my terminally ill father. I was not the typical child excited about missing a school day. I was the

atypical child who looked forward to missing school to assist her father to his monthly visits to the veteran's hospital to discuss his health. I was the curious child peeking over her father's shoulders to look at blood test results, radiographic images, and endoscopic videos, attempting to make sense of it all. Of course, caring for my father had its difficult moments. He required constant encouragement to remain compliant in his prescribed diet and medications, and he needed gentle reminders about his physical limitations. He was a strong-willed man who continued to work in the early stages of his illness regardless of the consequences in order to provide for our family. He would tell me, "You always try your best no matter what and you never let anyone, not even doctors, tell you you can't do anything you want to do!"

Years later, my father, still miraculously alive but very ill, sat by my side in a birthing room for 22 hours. He meticulously wiped my forehead with cold washcloths and attempted to feed me ice chips, which I secretly wiped most away from my lap. His wide eyes and shaky hands were evidence of his intake of medication on an empty stomach. His persistent loving care regardless of his own anguish touched my soul. I just did not have the heart to tell him that I could not eat another ice chip, and I was tired of the washcloths on my forehead. Although I suggested multiple times for him to eat and take a nap, he was just too excited to see his first grandchild. A month later, sitting in the funeral parlor with my daughter and husband, I relived the moments I had spent with my father in my mind. As talkative as my father was, he never spoke of feelings or his illness. I wondered if he ever accepted his diagnosis, if he ever spoke of his fears or concerns to anyone. I wondered if he was afraid or relieved in the end. I wondered if anyone held his hand as he was dying since family was not allowed in his room at the time.

Four years later, I graduated from the ------. As I walked upon the stage to receive my degree in nursing, I looked towards my family and imagined my father's presence. Never before had I felt so accomplished and yet so heartbroken. I vowed to myself I would follow in my father's footsteps and give my patients the type of kind, unselfish care he had shown to me. I would be persistent in providing quality support. I would hold my patients' hands and tell them I am here for them. I would take the time to listen to their concerns and complaints and attempt to comfort them as best as I could just as he had tried his best to comfort me.

As a critical care flex nurse for ------Health, I have the unique opportunity to make a difference by caring for a vast range of patients while working in multiple areas of nursing throughout three separate facilities. At times, I even have the pleasure of following my patients throughout their entire hospital stay. I cannot even begin to express how rewarding it is to witness a patient's transformation towards health and to participate in that transformation. I chose ----- Health because of their focus on family-centered care. I have held many hands and listened to many stories; witnessed births and deaths; shared many laughs and cried many tears. I have not developed a love of just one specialty but of caring for all people of all ages both spiritually and physically. It is through these experiences I have developed a desire to become a family nurse practitioner.

With the escalation of chronic illnesses and co-morbidities along with longer life expectancies, the need for early health promotion and disease prevention in families across the life span is even greater. Having time to listen to a patient's history and concerns, much less the worries of concerned family members is becoming more difficult for physicians to achieve due to a number of issues, including high patient loads and inadequate staff support. Family nurse practitioners are an excellent resource to closing these gaps to quality healthcare. As an advanced practitioner, I would have time to build trusting relationships with families, educate them on proper administration of medicine, and help them overcome any learning or related health barriers. I would have more time to listen to concerns and to assist in providing a solution by working collaboratively with other healthcare providers. My goal is not only to provide healthcare to families in a primary care setting but also to offer counseling and teaching in areas of health promotion, chronic disease management, and disease prevention. I want to empower families to take control of their own health. I also plan to assist in eliminating health disparities by obtaining a position in a community clinic serving vulnerable families and by volunteering my services to those in underserved countries. Lastly, my long term goal is to obtain a doctorate in nursing in order to deliver better patient outcomes and to be equipped for future healthcare changes.

My nursing and life encounters have well prepared me for the demands involved in becoming a family nurse practitioner. I have the leadership, communication, and critical thinking skills required to be successful. I have learned how to work independently as well as with a multidisciplinary team of health professionals. My communication skills have grown immensely since I am interacting with a more diverse patient population and different nursing and medical staff as well. Being able to quickly adapt to unfamiliar or crisis situations and the ability to modify nursing implications to meet current patient needs are two important skills I have mastered. I also developed time management skills at an early age: juggling work, family, and school while maintaining a high grade point average.

Actually, I would delete the entire last paragraph. You have given a past,present and future look into your career and the goals. It is simply stated and well versed.

[icudavis]

Thank you! cmo421 I actually thought about doing that. I'm applying to the same university I received my bachelor's. The last paragraph was the only way I could think of ending the essay and reinstating their mission at the same time without having the paper end so abruptly...Plus I really wanted them to know how much I respect them as scholars and nurses. Thank you for the compliment! I needed a boost. I have been stressing out about this whole thing!!