Work Culture: Eating the Young

[Amywat]

Hi everyone!

I thought I'd share my story. I'm a 19 year old college student who is currently pursuing both a nursing degree and a patient care tech certification. I've always had a love for health care, especially neonatal care as well as postpartum care.

Being the eager beaver that I am, I always look for opportunities to learn about my future career and explore the many fields of nursing.

I want to work as a nurse tech part time while in school in order to get my foot in the door so to speak, and to prepare me for what is to come. However, I've had a really negative first job experience in retail.

It wasn't totally horrible, I had a few customers that warmed my heart and that made my day. It was the management and co-workers that made my job difficult. I know, it sounds so ironic, the customers were not the hard part of my job, it was dealing with my superiors and not so respectful co-workers.

I was inadequately trained in regards to using the register, regardless, I made the best of the situation and tried to help out at the register when needed. I asked questions, as much as I could, but I was always kicked out of the registers and sent to help essentially clean the store.

I wanted to learn, and some of my co-workers tried to help me but management always found ways to undermine what I did and it made me feel incompetent and stupid. I was helping a customer make a payment on the credit card that he had at the store, and I knew what I was doing that time and I felt confident for the first time. A manager came to observe me, and she tried to take over what I was doing, which I didn't mind, because I knew that she was trying to help me but...she slapped my hand away in front of the customer and co-workers at the register. I was so embarrassed, again I felt like a dummy. I didn't know how to respond to that.

It began with co-workers talking and laughing about me,to being called dumb and then having my hand slapped. I felt intimidated because, I was a newbie and I was treated like an annoyance, so after a while, I started asking less questions out of fear of being humiliated. I felt that I couldn't go to management out of fear of them thinking that I was stupid or too immature for the job.

I'm not a shy person, I'm just a reserved person. I like to keep to myself, but at the same time I like to be an advocate for myself and voice my needs. I went to management plenty of times, expressing how I felt, only to be told to deal with it and the "it gets better" crap. I guess the fact that I was inexperienced in the job world and that I was quiet, made me a target. I didn't try to be buddy-buddy everyone, I just focused on making the customers happy and went home.

I blamed myself for the situation and thought that I was dense and stupid. It has deterred me from seeking employment again , just out of fear of running into the same situation again. I just want to be more assertive . I know that there is a popular saying that nurses eat their young and subordinates. I just want to learn how not to take other's people crap and be confident enough to stand up to colleagues and even supervisors if necessary.

Are there any nurses out there who got eaten on their first unit? And what helped you to deal with people with type A personalities?

[Atl-Murse]

Can you summarize please ?

[Hollybobs]

Like you say, it is your first job and you will gain confidence and the ability to deal with or prevent these situations as time goes on.

My first reaction is that boundaries are important, deciding what is and isn't okay for you personally. What you will and won't put up with. Then looking at different ways you might respond if something is near or over the personal boundary you have drawn.

There is a lot of information out there about assertive communication and it is really interesting. Assertive communication is about pitching your body language, tone and the content of what you say so it is neither meek and passive or aggressive. If you aren't a naturally assertive person, which, from your example you don't sound like you are, you can learn some ways of communicating your needs whilst not rubbing people up the wrong way or being targeted. This won't work in every situation but it is very effective.

So...for example...the manager who slapped your hand away. You might want to decide that is not personally acceptable, I think most people would find this not acceptable. Then you can decide how to deal with it. Do you say something then and there? Or later? What might you say?

It isn't easy but you can learn to do it well and is worth looking at now. It will significantly reduce your chances of "being eaten" as a new nurse.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

You will deal with unpleasant people no matter what you end up doing for a living. I get paid more for doing it as a nurse than I did as a clerk, though.