Will I ever get accustomed to death?

[rse3]

Hi there. I have worked as a tech in our local 36 bed emergency department (level 2 trauma center) for almost 2 years. I love almost everything about working in the ED, so I'm starting nursing school in a few weeks, and plan to work in the same ED upon graduation.

My only real problem is death. I can do CPR, post-mortem care, etc. and have dealt with all ages and all sorts of causes of death without problem. My problem is that I have started getting extremely "down" and anxious about the thought that one day my grandmother, parents, husband, child, etc. will eventually die. The problem isn't the death of a patient, but death in general. Has anyone dealt with this? How did you overcome it?

I expected that by now I would be totally over the "death thing," but it has actually become more of a problem over time. Someone please help! :)

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Does your employer offer an Employee Assistance Program?

[rse3]

Yes they do. For some reason I've been hesitant to go. I guess I've been just hoping that it would get better with time.

[Rhi007]

We all have different coping mechanisms for traumatic events, utilise the employee assistance services or speak to staff development to see if they offer in service courses on dealing with death

[Ciale]

When my dad passed away, I talked to one of our Chaplains at work about it. I just stopped by his office and asked if he had a few minutes and then scheduled a time to come back and chat with him later. Chaplains are generally easy to talk to whether you're religious or not, they often have really good feedback and resources to help you out in almost any situation.

[Kidrn911]

My nephew died at a childrens hospital I worked at. He had 2 brain tumors. It was really hard. It was like pulling teeth to get his funeral off. I had to miss his visitationor I would have been wrote up for having 2 many occurrences. ( I had alot of health problems that year, so I had 4 or 5 UPTO days.) Apparently nephew isnt a close enough relationship to warrent bereavement days.

Many people in the ER had taken care of him. They knew my nephew had the tumors.

My next shift after the funeral I had a pt. teen age boy new diagnosis brain tumor. Just like my nephew I just buried. It was hard. I was basically told to suck it up.

I worked there a few more years but the bitterness and hurt never left me I finally left.

It is hard. I feel your pain.

[Rhi007]

The reason I will never ever be a peds nurse

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Yes they do. For some reason I've been hesitant to go. I guess I've been just hoping that it would get better with time.

I had a hard time when I was new to the ER, had been there less than a year and had a 3 year old drowning. The hardest thing, bar none, in my life I have ever had to witness. Collateral damage is what I call it. We were all there, in it, and couldn't get out of it. The hardest part was the sibling and parents. Once a patient dies, there's no more suffering, no more awareness, but the pain lives on with those left to bear it.

It left me with nightmares, avoidance of ANY sick peds patient, and general anxiety when it came to work and any sick person. It took a few years to work through that. I read up on it, attempted to learn more about pediatric patients, and just came to the realization that bad things happen. We are there to help and sometimes it affects us. We are only human. Some events are worse than others. Sometimes you can compartmentalize, and sometimes you just cannot.

I can handle most things, but everyone has a hard time with a pediatric death. Everyone.