Where do I go from here?

[njxcrush18]

Hey.

So I've been an RN for about 2 years... practiced in both SF Bay and NYC....lucky enough to see 2 very different regions of nursing.

I'm now in my first year of grad school...in an NP program for adult / gerontologic health.

Only, I'm not sure if I'm going in the right direction?

I've done a year and a half med-surg...and am currently in my 2 year commitment for a step dow / transitional care floor. After that, I plan to go to ICU....as I feel it is essential to have experienced all levels of care for any upper level nursing position...in efforts to make myself more educated and experienced...and more desirable as a job candidate in the future.

I have some concerns and questions....some of which might anger people for the selfish reasons...

so basically....i'm unsure as to if i should stay in the NP program....or transfer into the ms in upper management / admin track?

I have passions the fall in both arenas...

I love patient care...the interaction.

I also love being a leader, working to make things better.

But i don't feel I have the cut-throat mentality for the politics...

I also question job availability for the future.... markets are saturated with NPs... and there is high demand for nurse leaders... however, job security as a nurse leader is slim (am i correct? why fire the floor when the one calling the shots is at fault? or...cutbacks in budget....fire the middlemen)

lastly...the most selfish of all reasons... there is more ability for advancement and higher pay in a leadership role.... whereas an NP, not so much....from my research, it seems to plateau.

I ask this because I have to face the reality... 6 figures of student debt...which there is little support for in my area. I have to be smart about my future. Bottom line, I need to be able to support myself. As it is now, I do hours upon hours of OT just to stay afloat.. and still run it close at the end of the month. In a time where student loan consolidations are no longer an option, the economy is showing no signs of improvement... one has to think about their financial well-being in the future. am i wrong?

I'm in a slow program part-time...i value the experience i'll get in the 5 years it takes me to get my degree rather than the quick shot degree without the experience to back it up...

And lastly... will my experiences as a floor RN, step down RN, and crit care RN be enough for a nurse leader? Or will the Advanced practice pharm, assessment, and diagnosis skills as an NP be better in that role? I never really had that drive for being an NP... but when i thought of the nurse leader/admin track..it was like....wow! a lightbulb went off in my head! and it felt right! now i'm unsure again as to which way to go.

So...any tips..?