Hi all, I am sitting here typing in tears and I need advice on a situation. This is a long one, and I apologize.
Okay, I'm in third semester NS and my OB instructor hates me (okay, I know that's an opinionated statement but I am emotional about this right now and I can't figure out a politically correct way to say it)
I have never ever had a problem being a "bad" student. And I hate to toot my own horn but, I see myself as a "good" student. I have always got good--if not great grades and I don't miss class, never missed a clinical...I am also a mom with 2 young children and a husband who is working his butt off to support my efforts of becoming a nurse. So---my point is, I take nursing school seriously. If I mess around it would be at the expense of... my family...and my entire life.
My OB lecture takes place in a smaller sized classroom with about 35 students. The instructor (lets call her Judy for anonymity) sits in the front far right corner and never stands up (she has been recently plagued by cardiac problems and is too fatigued to stand). She lectures for 2.5 hours in that same position. Sometimes people in the far left opposing corner can't hear what she says....so we raise our hands with no response. We hold our hands up and she looks at us and ignores us. Yes she is ignoring us because when she finally gets sick of someone holding up his or her hand she says, "is this important?", "can this wait?", "what now?", "go read the book"....and insert random sarcastic sighs anywhere in between. She is also not fond of "kibitzing"or whispers in the classroom to which she will snap at you as well, "do you have something you want to add to that statement?" (in sarcastic tone for the sole purpose of student humiliation)
It has gotten to the point where nobody asks her questions anymore...because...why ask when you will just get yelled at and made a mockery of? So last week in class, I missed something she was saying. I got brave and put my hand up.....and there it stayed for about a minute. she looks directly at me and ignores my raised hand. I turn to ask my clasmate what she was talking about.....and she says, "you know you are really disrupting the class if you don't want to be here you dont' have to be and I'm really sick of people talking when I'm trying to lecture".....I take a deep breath and ignore the statement. I'm mad but I dont' want to make her mad.
A few minutes later another topic missed. I'm torn. Do I raise my hand or ask my neighbor...what page did she just say??? (remember she's sitting behind a desk in the opposite corner of me) I like a dummy raise my hand.....it's up to the point where I can feel my muscles getting tired. Direct eye contact, no response...completely ignored. So, I turn to my classmate and ask what page did she just say....
And that was all it took for her to completely humiliate me, "I've so had it with you. You are so disruptive. I think I want to ask you to leave my class, if you dont want to be here I don't want you here" I stopped listening at that point. She made me feel like I was 7 years old in trouble with mother the way she was talking to me. I wanted to suck it up but I politely defended myself saying, "Judy, I was trying to ask you and I put my hand up twice and you didn't answer my question so I had to ask someone so I didn't miss the information, I'm sorry" this was responded with, "oh now you're talking back to me? next time I will ask you to leave. if you had a question why didn't you just raise your hand and if I can't see you jump up and down and flag me down if I don't answer you."
Okay, so I'm really really mad....but what makes me more mad is that there are others in the class that talk all the time....the difference is, these are her clinical students and she favors them over the other students and in her eyes they do no wrong. I ask something relevant to class and I'm the devil.
So today, a week later and 2 minutes before an exam, she pulls me aside, I'm thinking....wow I'm actually getting an apology from the way I was treated. Not even close. She says, "you are very disruptive and everyone in the class has been complaining about how you talk all the time and it makes everyone around you mad and you were so rude and disrespectful to me by yelling at me in front of the class" (yelling?? yelling? I politely explained that I was trying to ask her without having to talk during lecture!) At this point I decide to swallow my pride, I don't want to risk my career because my teacher hates me......so I start saying, "Judy, I am so so...so" and she's going on and on about how disrespectful I was being...."Judy....I want to apolo" and she finally screams and says, "see look at you right now, being disrespectful, can't even keep quiet for one minute you are now officially on probation and I am putting you on an academic contract" and she walks away.....all I was trying to say was, "I'm sorry" to make her happy and even that was too "rude".
So I"m balling my eyes out and have about a whole 30 seconds left until I have to take her exam. Everytime I read a test question, my mind started to wander and I started crying. She didn't even have the decency to wait until after the exam.
What in the world can I do about this. I am so upset. I have never had anything put on my record....nursing school probation? academic contract? can they do this to someone with good grades and perfect attendance? I went to the D.O.N and she's on vacation until the 28th of October. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared my success is going to be jeopardized by this woman.
I am an adult, mother of 2 children, and this lady has me crying like I'm in the 3rd grade. I want to be a nurse so bad, this is my passion and I know I will be good at it....but do I have to endure this type of treatment to achieve my goal? Should I have to expose myself to this type of harassment? And I have a previous degree and for NS have been in school for 4 years now and although I have had awful instructors, none made me feel like this! And I feel like, if I don't stick up for myself...what kind of example am I being for my kids....showing them that you have to let people walk all over you.....what kind of nurse will I be? where I can't stand up to someone when I know they are doing something wrong? But I don't want to face retaliation (she already hates me) and have her deliberately hinder my potential.
Gosh I'm sorry this is so long, I'm hoping someone out there knows of something I can do. By the way, there are about 15 other students that are waiting to see the D.O.N with complaints about this instructor so it's not just me but I needed advice on what *I* should do from here.
-So hurt....
