I'm too tired/upset/confused to go into all the details, but-
I love being a nurse. I love helping people either get better or pass on, I love learning new things, I love being challenged.
Like everyone else, there are things about the environment I hate- low staff, high acuity, decisions made by people who've never been at the bedside.
But, until now, I kinda felt like we were all on the same boat. It may be the Titanic, but we are all here together! I'm a good nurse. I'm new (7 months), I use the skills I know confidently, and I ask for help when I need it. I worked in this unit for a couple of years as support staff, did an excellent job, and I feel I'm still doing good work. I help other nurses as much as possible.
I get an assignment that's over my head. I ask the charge for help with the situation. Didn't demand a change, didn't ***** about it, just asked for help. And that, my friends, turned out to be the worst mistake ever.
This was over a week ago. Finally, the nurse who precepted me, came to me to tell me what these (albeit few) nurses were saying about me. People who have presented themselves as my friends- for years. Very petty- nothing about my care of pts, but the fact that I called my boyfriend for a ride home, used the computer for the "internet" (actually was entering orders),etc. No one approached me, no one offered advice on how I could do it "better", they just complained about me. My preceptor, whom I respect, followed up by saying that she (and several other nurses) have worked along beside me plenty of times and felt I was great.
I love what I do, and I'm a good, competent nurse, and now I can't escape working @ the bedside fast enough. And that breaks my heart. I want to close myself off from everyone @ work (in a friendly sense) because now I feel I can't trust anyone. And I know it will be like this wherever I go.
I'm already back in school for an advance degree. I'm going to do something different, and when the other nurses ask why I'm leaving (because they are still nice to my face, of course), they'll expect me to say too many pts, not enough $, hard work, etc. And I'm going to have to cry and say, "I'm leaving because of you." That breaks my heart, too. Becaue I truly cared about these people as friends.
Froggysmom- wonderful advice about keeping my own records. Also, the morning after that rough night, I had spoken to the acting asst. nurse manager about the assignment, so I guess if anyone of the nurses who were "dissatisfied" with me had complained that day, I had already discussed my night with the PTB. However, I will be writing something up to keep with me. Great idea!
And to everyone else- you guys are the reason I keep coming back to this board! I will certainly not cause any problems with these few nurses (God forbid, they'd probably say I wasn't a "team player" if I said anything about the backstabbing to them! Geez!), but I am certainly going to be more guarded about who I trust!
Everyone's words of encouragement have really helped! You have helped to renew my faith.
ICURN_NC
106 Posts
Thanks to everyone again!
Froggysmom- wonderful advice about keeping my own records. Also, the morning after that rough night, I had spoken to the acting asst. nurse manager about the assignment, so I guess if anyone of the nurses who were "dissatisfied" with me had complained that day, I had already discussed my night with the PTB. However, I will be writing something up to keep with me. Great idea!
And to everyone else- you guys are the reason I keep coming back to this board! I will certainly not cause any problems with these few nurses (God forbid, they'd probably say I wasn't a "team player" if I said anything about the backstabbing to them! Geez!), but I am certainly going to be more guarded about who I trust!
Everyone's words of encouragement have really helped! You have helped to renew my faith.
Thanks,
Sharon