In 22 years of nursing in everything from acute post op ortho to home health, I've read some real doozies. One of the facilities where I worked, we had MD residents that, I swear, with God as my witness, must have secretly worked for Chaos. Charts coming from the ER with 6 residents writing contradicting orders, we'd have to get them together so they could decide on what flavor IV & so on. You get the point.
For me there were 2 orders that left me in stitches.
"HHH enema" Because I'm not one for vagueness, I felt compelled to call the MD. He got huffy & asked "just WHAT don't you understand??" My answer?
"How high is high, how hot is hot & just how much is a hell-of-a-lot?" I swear I could hear him scratching his head when he replied "good question."
But, my all time favorite came from a pulmonologist that was famous for his poor handwriting. I consulted ever nurse, RT & unit secretary in the hospital. He was a notoriously grumpy man, and I dreaded calling him for clarification, but it had to be done. The order read....
"Suspect impaction, seek & destroy."
I've seen things like "FTD" (fixin to die) & "PITA" (pain in the ass) usually in reference to family members.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
a few of my personal favorites:
"flower care q 24 hours"
"do not allow patient access to a phone. do not allow patient to call 911." (hospital patient with a propensity for calling 911 to complain that the nursing staff was holding her prisoner and not allowing her access to enemas.)
"yes i do want an abg on this patient every hour, just like i ordered. i don't care that the patient is a dnar!" (in big letters, covering an entire order sheet.)
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
a few of my personal favorites:
"flower care q 24 hours"
"do not allow patient access to a phone. do not allow patient to call 911." (hospital patient with a propensity for calling 911 to complain that the nursing staff was holding her prisoner and not allowing her access to enemas.)
"yes i do want an abg on this patient every hour, just like i ordered. i don't care that the patient is a dnar!" (in big letters, covering an entire order sheet.)
"dopamine 5 mcg/kg/min forever."