What do you do when a child passes?

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I've been in healthcare for almost 10 years now, starting out as a CNA I worked in nursing homes, than I finally got my LPN in 2005 and again worked in nursing homes. I am now getting ready to graduate with my RN in May of this year and am really excited to work at the hospital upon graduation. Working in the nursing homes for all those years i have watched many of my patients pass, but these were elders who were sick, tired and ready to go home. Death is a part of life, but I can honestly say that I am terrified of the day that I have a young child pass under my care. How do you cope with the loss of a child?

I am a nursing student currently and I have my first job as a tech, I plan on going all the way with my RN and doing pedi nursing.

I look at death as going on with another part of life, we are all God children and none of us is promise tomorrow, we have to realize that each person that is in our life is here as a gift from God and one day he being our father will call us home. Some of us spend a lifetime without seeing him while some of us he calls suddenly but one thing is promise to those who believe and trust in him, God saids there is no death for us the believer, just rest. I can imagine it is hard to deal with any kind of death, but if we go to him and trust he will give us closure then He is faithful and just to do so even in our mouring. The great thing about nursing is that you can share that faith and trust that you builded with God to a hurting family. Even if it is to secretly say a pray that you know God hears, you get to speak a different part of life into someone life's and as for the children God has not called home, you get to see them heal and be healthy it all will not be death there will be life as well.

Life or Death as long as it is the will of God he will give you strength to move on.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.

While this may be true, not everyone has that faith to comfort them. Those are the trick situations

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While this may be true, not everyone has that faith to comfort them. Those are the trick situations

This is very true, but this is the one thing I love about nursing, you can use your faith to strengthen yourselve as well as others. Comforts comes in so many forms for so many people, but I know when I lost a love one, my faith in God comfort me when I really didnt know who God was I just had a peace about it, and I would pray that He would give that peace to my family members of the patients I have to care for, I do believe that crying was a big part of healing for me as well.

The post came from reading the post and I never really thought about death in peds, so as I was reading this going into peds I began to think, and this is what I came up with.

I hope that peds is not full of experience of death as much as I will experience life as well. But, then again I also thought about doing Hospice as well.

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Specializes in Pediatric Emergency Medicine/Trauma.

I work in a pediatric ER/Trauma center where we see far too much violence and chronic illness in children. I have to agree, there are times where a child passing away may be for the better for they suffer terribly with their illnesses. It's always hard to see a child die - I have the hardest time experiencing it with the families. Especially if it's a sudden and traumatic death - like a car accident or SIDS.

My best coping is to go ahead and cry with the family as long as you maintain your professionalism. It means a lot to see the nurses really care from what they've told me. You have to be sure you don't take it home too often. Utilize your hospital's resources. The chaplains are amazing in helping me to understand coping mechanisms. Speak with co-workers, go out after work and de-compress.

Everyone has a certain number of heart beats - we can sometimes put off death but not prevent it. If it's their time, it's their time. I don't know if you're religious but to me they are a new little soul in heaven - watching over us and their families. It's never something you can get used to but you can learn to cope in different ways so you can maintain your job duties during such sad times.

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My best coping is to go ahead and cry with the family as long as you maintain your professionalism. It means a lot to see the nurses really care from what they've told me. You have to be sure you don't take it home too often. Utilize your hospital's resources. The chaplains are amazing in helping me to understand coping mechanisms. Speak with co-workers, go out after work and de-compress.

I a nursing student and I just got hired to work a children hospital, so this I have been given some thought. While I feel I deal with death pretty well, I also look at it has all of us are here temporary and death is really a part of another life. I also feel like crying is like laughter it can be the best medicince for the soul. My question is how to do not take it home with you, I can't for the life of me figure out how? It is not a bad thing actually I think it is a good thing, do you have any tips on how to bring closure to events like this? I want to go into Ped's Critical Care and the hospital I work has a trama unit for peds so it is a great opportunity and I want to be as prepared as possible, kind of like I dont want to have to say I never knew things would be like this.

Any advice you can give wold be appreciated :bow:

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Specializes in Pediatric Emergency Medicine/Trauma.
I a nursing student and I just got hired to work a children hospital, so this I have been given some thought. While I feel I deal with death pretty well, I also look at it has all of us are here temporary and death is really a part of another life. I also feel like crying is like laughter it can be the best medicince for the soul. My question is how to do not take it home with you, I can't for the life of me figure out how? It is not a bad thing actually I think it is a good thing, do you have any tips on how to bring closure to events like this? I want to go into Ped's Critical Care and the hospital I work has a trama unit for peds so it is a great opportunity and I want to be as prepared as possible, kind of like I dont want to have to say I never knew things would be like this.

Any advice you can give wold be appreciated :bow:

Not taking it home is definitely a challenge. This is why I said "don't take it home too often". Sometimes it hits you hard - a child you've grown to know suddenly dies and the staff is left grieving and wondering why. This is why I cry at work. You have to let the emotions get out somehow. I also turn to my faith and know there are new little souls in heaven.

You don't ever really just get over it. It's a part of you - it's a part of what you live for every day. It will affect you somehow in someway. If you are drawn to critical care, then you know some children will die despite everything we do. But we cannot stop death - we can halt it for awhile but if it's their time - it's their time.

I rely heavily on my co-workers for a hug. I feel like as a team we can handle the losses. Most of the time the rough ones leave me crying in my car in the parking structure (i do NOT recommend driving and crying). I get to my car and just let go. Yell, scream, cry, sob - whatever I need to do. I get it out - I release the anger, fear, and worry and let my mind heal. Then you take some serious deep breaths and get home to your life - grateful you and everyone around you is alive today.

If you have someone at home that can support you - you can bring it home on occasion. But you'll wear them down if you bring it all home. Some of it has to stay in the car - between you and whatever higher power you believe in. God and I have some serious chats some nights. You just have to make an agreement with yourself - "Ok self, I've cried, I've been mad, I've moved on". Period.

Your unit may also have the opportunity to participate in de-briefing sessions. We don't have these too often since we're a peds ER/Trauma center so unfortunately death happens a lot. But on those horrible housefire nights or bad MVAs - we have sessions were we let go and decompress. If your unit doesn't have this - it might be an excellent project. Also, you can talk to your manager, senior nurses, and religious staff in the hospital. All will usually be open to hearing you have a big heart and can be a sounding board for you when things get rough.

I wish you the best of luck - we take care of the most fragile. It never gets easy but the good days are really truly good days!

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Thank you so much, I will be praying for you , your patients and coworkers

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