10 weeks into program and pt dies...

[TallyJofutureRN]

I am trying to process my day at clinicals...my pt died this morning during my care...I knew that this would be a possibility but for some reason I never thought it would happen so soon....when I went in her room this morning I even had a thought about this pt dying but shrugged it off I hadn't even entered her room but I already had a sense of something wrong...I went in and she was breathing very hard and wheezing loudly...I couldn't get a BP on her and thought it was because she was so swollen...she was prespiring heavily and I just felt something wasn't quite right so I left to get someone else check on her by the time we got back she ws gone....it was surreal...I have never been to a funeral before nor have I ever seen a deceased person before....I am an intro student and wasn't expecting this but I do have some peace tonight about it I did what I knew to do and she was a DNR so I couldn't have done much of anything anyway...have a lot of you experienced this as a student??

[allthingsbright]

Hi! Well, my second clinical pt in school had pancreatic cancer and dies the day after I cared for her. It was such an honor for me to care of that person. I guess after I processed it I became very thankful about being able to be there. I took really good care of them...it was sad, yes...and I got a good cry out of it...but it really showed me something about myself. I dont know what else to say! It is a reality of nursing and it is hard. But it can teach us so much if we let it! It really showed me how much good nurses are needed--how important compassion is...

Best wishes!

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

I remember my first patient death very well. It was a lady in the nursing home where I worked. I tried so hard to get a pulse, hear a heartbeat or a breath to no avail. It consumed my thoughts for the remainder of my shift and up until I finally fell asleep when I got home. Death--the great mystery. The one thing we really know nothing about, so we are the most curious and fearful of.

One of the things that nursing students don't often pay much attention to during their student orientations is the little talk that they are sometimes given about having to learn to deal with their own attitudes and conceptions about life. Because you will be dealing with people from all walks of life, all professions, all financial and political levels your beliefs will be tested. This is where your ability to open your mind and be tolerant comes into play. You are going to see some people die, face a future life of deformity and disability, and some who will cheat both. I can't make what you experienced today much different. You will most likely have other experiences with death as well. At some point in your lifetime you have to face your own fears about death and what it means to you. When you are able to do that, then you will be able to deal with it when it occurs with your patients. It's OK to be saddened for them. It's OK to feel relief for those who suffered horribly before they passed. That is life. Remember that death is the final stage of our development. You will see people who will fight it off with every ounce of their being and those who will succumb to it willingly. My feeling has always been to try to be with someone when they take their last breath. I think it's my own belief that I wouldn't want to be alone at the moment of death. Kind of a fear of the unknown thing that probably goes back to childhood when we feel safe when someone is holding our hand. The thing about nursing is that you never know what is going to come at you any one day. You will see a lot of misery and suffering to be sure. You learn to put on a mask, that kind of sad, sympathetic smile that nurses are so famous for. It really hides our own feelings and thoughts about what is happening because, after all, we are human too.