Wednesday April 23rd 2025

No Stars In My Eyes · Apr 23

Morning~I slept about 4 +1/2 hours, and I am up because Momo urged me to wake up to feed her. So I did, and made a cup of coffee and came back up to bed. I feel my sleep has not been completed, and since Nannie has been taken to the Sr Ctr and I have nothing urgent to take care of .... Imma put down the laptop in a minute and indulge my eyes by closing them again.

Nannie spent time moaning, grunting, and groaning over the 'pain' in her ankles last night. The thing is,"Hunny," if you don't MOVE to change your position, eventually the discomfort will get to ya! All she had to do is shift her position slightly so her ankles are not hanging off the edge of the footrest, but she hasn't got much sense these days and it never occurs to her that she could "be the change" she wants to see. How many times did I adjust her legs with a pillow last night while we were watching TV? At least half a dozen. I finally crushed up some Tylenol and mixed it in with the Cinnabon pudding she likes. Sadly, it did not seem to make much difference; usually the Tylenol will make her sleepy..... and she fought falling asleep every silly little millimeter of the way. She wanted to go to the bathroom about ten minutes before her 'official' final bedtime (10 PM) and said she wanted to go back in the den and finish watching the show she was supposedly watching. By the time she was toileted and changed into her pj's, she forgot she wanted to stay up. I woulda put her to bed anyway. No sense in going back out to the recliner to watch the final four minutes of the show, and a couple more commercials. Had to do it, to seize the moment and hustle her into the bedroom, because she was giving ME a giant pain!

Once again she ate about 3 bites of her meal at suppertime, because she ate the dessert first. I caught her before she scraped the meal into her juice glass....maybe to 'hide' it? Anyway I decided I will not be putting the dessert on her tray until AFTER she eats a bit more of the 'entree'. (like a mean mommy!) Either that or her suppers will consist of all desserts, all the time. Wouldn't THAT make her happy?! Can't bring myself to do that, though, as it goes against my better judgement. The only times I have actually given in to a not-entirely-healthy way of eating, was if the patient was slowly on their way 'out', where eating what they want to and not eating what they don't want to, would be a nice thing to do.... and Nannie isn't 'there' yet.

I had a mushroom-burger which was pretty good, and I will probably buy them again. Since the box is downstairs, I can't remember the brand. But putting it into the microwave for 90 seconds on high doesn't exhaust me! For several nights this week, I actually did cook ...real, not frozen, and it was quite good, if I do say so myself. But generally I am inclined to do the easiest thing. As Sabby might say, I am being a SLOTH that way!

I have 'decided' that in the future (IF there is a life after Nannie for me) I am not going to be a caregiver to anyone else anymore because I am getting to the point where I DON'T care. I feel, now, like I am like the ones who want what they want when they want it. And I am getting to the point that the only one that realizes that I want to indulge myself is ME! Now, if only my life would be aiming in that direction.... Waiting for Nannie to 'give it up' is downright tedious, and it is a terrible thing to admit. As we all say here: "Nannie is too mean to die," (and MY quality of life suffers because of that.) The DE-construction of being a nurse has been percolating for quite some time now. "All I want is a room somewhere, far away from dull nights here; with no one in my 'lair', now wouldn't it be loverly..."

Gonna try to doze a while longer. May be back by here later. Hope everyone else's day is a good'n.

No Stars In My Eyes · Apr 24

SiL picked up Nannie this afternoon from daycare and brought her home an hour earlier than when I get her. She said Friday that BiL will come Friday morning around 8:30 AM to tote Nannie to the daycare. That means I have to get up early to get her dressed and ready to go. She also said she could pick her up Friday afternoon, but again, she'd be coming home an hour earlier "If that's okay with you." I shrugged and told her that it's as long as it is wide, so no matter, but I will 'allow' her to pick her up on Friday. AND, the reason Chatty CG was not here last week and will not be here tomorrow is that her mother has been diagnosed with some kind of cancer (don't know of what.) and their family is freaking out. But she says she plans on being here the NEXT Thursday. We'll see.

I hate what Chatty CG is going through, and it probably will sound awful to say so, in light of that, but ...... WHEN am *I* EVER going to get ALL my time off during the same week? So far it hasn't happened even ONCE. I did have plans for tomorrow, but they will not pan out now. As my mother used to say, "Shhhhhhh-ugar!"

I REALLY hope Nannie doesn't outlive me! I NEED a life of my own again, SOON!

I got Nannie to eat her supper by giving her a small dessert, and then I made a home-made bacon, fried egg and cheese sandwich for her, so she did eat it all. I made one for myself, but 1/2 sandwich on a very large piece of multiseeds'n'nuts bread. However it was disappointing to me because of the fact that I couldn't really taste it like I used to be able to. I was so looking forward to it, but, oh well! At least it was hot and it filled the hunger hole.

I hope Nannie gets sleepy earlier tonight than she did last night. I was so discouraged last night by the time I did get her into bed, I can't even begin to tell you. By evening time, I get very sad, feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes I can just 'endure', but sometimes that is hard to do! Feeling bored and irritated simultaneously is kinda tough.

nursej22, MSN, RN · Apr 24

hullo. I spent the morning at the demo garden, then attended a class about weeds, of all things. Then we stopped for a burger at what I used to call "Yak in the Box". I came full of plans to walk the dogs, pull some weeds, and then, Bam! I fell asleep for 2 hours. oops. It's a sunny day, in the mid 60's.

We took second place in online Trivia last night. This was after we took MiL to the vet so she could put her 14 yo dog down. She wanted dh to do it without her, but he said he wasn't going to do that. She did thank him afterwards. We took her home, and then I sent him off to the tulip fields, to soak up the beauty and snap some picks. I stayed home to work on documenting my rose garden, turn in receipts for reimbursement, and make a doc appointment. I'm going in tomorrow to see if he can figure out how to make my heel feel better. It's been hurting off and on for 2months. I've tried rest, stretching, cold, ice, topical meds and tylenol. With my luck, there will be no clear cause and not much that can be done. I am hoping for maybe a cortisone shot.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 24

G'day.

Had an uneventful day at work. Sent one to ICU. The team did 15 discharges and a bunch of admits but it was handled.

J22, hope you get some help with your pain.