Started CNA school in the 80's. I wasn't even a smoker then lol. I moved to NC last year & they changed the rules where I couldn't challenge the board but had to start COMPLETELY at the bottom. All my specialty courses, certifications were useless here. I'm half of 90 now- I didn't want to go back to school to be a ..."CNA"! Luckily, I'm also a Chef. But I couldn't find a job in my area because we don't have places to cook that requires a chef. Oh Lord,...I was stuck.
Nursing is my first profession. A bad marriage, birth of my son and the demise of my grandparents health is how this madness began. My grands raised me. My mother being a teen mom let them keep me after I was born. Naturally, she was still home, brought me back home after having me & they fell in love with the baby.
Two years later my mom got married & they raised me. 13 years later I was a momma. I moved out when I turned 18 to my own place, with my daughter. I was trying to go to college since I dropped out of high school but my grandma didn't want to keep my baby or even give me a ride eventually. So I walked. And I took my baby. They even started a kiddie college at school. Thank you Lord.
So being on public assistance I got public housing & had my first place. Yay- now, I had to get a job & did. In a few months I was pregnant with baby #2. Everyday my grandparents which I call "momma & daddy" were there. Ever since I moved out they came over at least 5 times a week guaranteed lol. I started going to CNA school Fall of 1994 I think.
Anyway, life went on, I worked many days and nights for many years nursing. I bought allot of cars, furnished alot of homes and made many Christmases and school days just fine with my earnings. I never lost my license. Always had a job. We're OK. Life moves on...I could ALWAYS count on momma and daddy if I needed anything. Money, food, whatever. I married in 2010 & momma got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She'd started forgetting where she was going when she drove & daddy was always the sidekick. He wasn't licensed but he could drive. Daddy worked. He was head Chef & supervisor for the Naval Hospital 38 years before he retired. Momma was the homemaker. Daddy was the breadmaker. By the end of the year it's like everything changed.
My husband left me. He was strung out on drugs. My real Pops died the same night & I lost my place. I went to go live with my mother 3 months, the whole time they the break ups & make ups momma's getting worse. We get back together, new place, same habits, he leaves again, I move out to a different house. A few months later, we speak again & I get pregnant with my son. While I'm pregnant he's the same. I'm stressing so bad. Can't talk to mama, she don't know what's going on anymore. Ain't gonna tell daddy. Then he goes behind my back and gets him a place. He leaves me again 8 months pregnant. God was with me. I didn't mention in October my landlord raised my rent 600 extra dollars effective on the 1st! I had less than a month to move. No man. Now no home. No help. But I knew how to pray.
In 3 weeks I had found another place. Moved in & unpacked. I was up on a ladder 3a.m. scrubbing the bathroom ceiling & almost fell off which forced me into labor. 12 pound baby boy lol! And I wasnt even showing! By this time momma was so bad off daddy would get anybody to come take care of her who could endure her cussing & fighting. I couldn't do it. I had to move back with my mother a few months later because I had a slum lord. They condemned my home & I didn't have a choice, but I was back working as soon as my doctor released me. Pumping milk along the way but here we go!
Late Spring daddy started getting ill. Momma had to come to Mom's house with me so I could watch her. Daddy was in the hospital for awhile. I wound up going back home to take care of momma because she was tearing up my Mom's place. When daddy came home nobody was there to take care of them. I naturally became their caretakers. My mom had moved away to NC after my Pop passed away. My brother was murdered Dec.1999 - so mom was thru with this area.
A house came open for sale across the street from my sister and she took it. I was back at home where I began. I quit my job. Put everything in storage & started caring for them. I said to myself, they saw you into this world & stuck by you till they got old, now it's your turn to see them out. I did that. Momma's condition took a turn for the worse. Schizophrenia, sundown syndrome, Alzheimer's, Dementia, Diabetes... life was something extra in that house/WITH a newborn baby & a preteen. A few months later momma passed away with no warning. She just went to sleep. Daddy refused to put her in a home & nobody could or would deal with momma but me. As much as I loved my grandma I thanked God for the ability to KNOW what to do to take care of her thru all of this. My grandma was just as sweet as she was mean & very particular. Always, I was the only one who cut her hair or seen her naked hindpots lol. Smh. I am amazed at the professionalism that poured out of me when she died.
I was supposed to fall apart but it was like someone stepped inside of me & I had total & complete clarity. I consoled my grandfather. Kept the kids sleeping and quietly even performed post mortem care on my momma too. Never in all my life have I ever NEEDED to be that skilled and precise with my momma. But I did it in love. I did it because that's what I do. And I did it because she changed my stinking hindpots a thousand times first because she loved me. Nobody can do that but ME. And I knew that. I didn't think, I just worked. Thank you Lord. I went to the funeral home & cut her hair one more time. And put her earrings on.
A year later almost -daddy died in the hospital. I stayed in that house till they forclosed on it. My aunt , whom the house was willed to; didn't want the house. My mom asked me to come home & start over with her. I did that. Almost a year later I moved into my own place again. I did go to culinary school while I lived with my grandparents this time. Daddy took care of momma while my daughter was in school and I had my son in daycare. So I had culinary experience. Got a piece of job at a gas station cooking but had applied to a college scholarship I ran across. Soon as I got my place they had changed the rules here in NC saying I had to challenge the board by Feb or start over basically. I got a call at work. It was my case worker telling me I had won a scholarship to go to CNA school! Most EXCELLENT! The gas station closed without warning so all I had was school. I have completed so much thru my scholarship. The money they awarded me I milked it for all it was worth. - Meaning I took CNA1 & passed that & got my license, I got my CPR ,AED Certifications back, I took day classes for Medication Aide & got my certificate to pass meds again too. And lastly I start school tomorrow to began CNA2 night classes. Graduating in April.
I hope to work in the hospital upon completion. I had to struggle to get to this point & I didn't want to go to school as a CNA. I wrote an essay on what nursing means to me and won. I just spoke from my heart. I take nursing SERIOUSLY. That's somebody's loved one. And God's child first.
I had went on pursuing my cooking when the scholarship dropped into my lap. I felt like I had got all I could get out of being a CNA all these years. Post mortem care on your momma has got to sound insane to somebody- I'm still numb from it & in denial. I can't believe I did that. But I did. Had I never applied for the scholarship I don't know what I would've done. It just flowed in the right direction. And it was hard. Much different than VA.
I'm going to go to school for RN now. Then get my Bachelor's and Master's afterwards. This is where I belong. I would greatly appreciate any feedback on the best nursing school in my area of Ahoskie, NC to get my MA then BSN. If I move after I graduate with my RN license Im thinking Florida will be my place to relocate. It's too cold here. But that's 18 months away. I aspire to be a CRNA. A certified registered nurse anesthestist. I'd love to work with burn patients and specialize in cardiac care. I can't go back over all this. Please excuse any typographical. This is a cellphone & predictive text sucks! I really tried to be concise but,.. Life happens.
mystory, BSN, RN
177 Posts
We all have a story to tell, and yours is one of resilience and love. Thank you for sharing, best of luck on your journey to RN and beyond!