Want others to know...and learn

[lilywater]

]My first year out of college I had an unusually rough transition into nursing and the real world. Personally I suffered a car accident (rear ended) a couple of weeks after graduation and was completely stood up by the woman who had hired me as a nanny. I was expecting to work for her and study for my boards at the same time. As a result I spent the remainder of the summer broke and studying hard for the boards and failed on my first attempt with 265 questions. I will never forget how torn apart I was when I saw "fail" online and got my big packet in the mail informing me a detailed explanation of how I was "near pass" in all areas. I cried for days. I studied different the second time around and meanwhile I dealt with bullying at work from several angles. Techs and nurses on the floor had poor morale and being the newbie I was always someone's target, however I did not want to quit because I was afraid it would look bad on my resume. When I reported the incidents they were ignored and not acknowledged by management. Fortunately I passed the second time around, however I was paired with a bullying and unprofessional preceptor who talked down to me constantly and tried to make me feel stupid. My manager was very unfair toward me and disliked me from the get go and when I went to her to get a new preceptor, she seemed calm, but when it came time to the day we were to discuss the issue she brought in the entire leadership staff on the unit and turned it into a huge meeting. I stated everything I had been through with the preceptor and how I was treated. They listened quietly to my side then brought her in. From that point I was yelled at and belittled by everyone in that meeting despite all of the unprofessional things I had stated were done to me by my preceptor. None of it was addressed and they made out everything to be my fault. The people in that meeting smiled as my manager literally slammed her hand down at the table and yelled at me- while the others said things to edge her on. It was like they were trying to break me down and enjoyed watching this. On top of that after the meeting she gave me documents with severe write-ups for very random and minor incidents such as coming to work on a different day with my preceptor than another. She did this with a smile, literally and just told me to sign- did not tell me that I had the right to a rebuttal which everyone does when they are written up. Eventually they switched me to a different preceptor but I felt that the whole incident damaged my reputation on the floor. Many of the staff were not welcoming to me and there was a bit of unclear air between my manager and I. Because of the drama I think the new preceptor had preconceived notions about me. I thought she was really nice and supportive and found out she was saying all kinds of things behind my back and talking to my old preceptor. She took a bad day I was having personally and blew it out of proportion to call me incompetent despite all of the high marks and praise she had been giving me. She went to management and said God knows what and I was fired in a surprise attack with a smile on my manager's face. (I was told it was just a meeting instead of coming in to work). When I tried to appeal it with higher administration, it did not come through and they supported the termination. I am so distraught and I do not know how to feel about nursing. I ask that you all can somehow take something from my story. To those of you joining the nursing world be careful which coworkers you trust, know when you don't belong on a unit, and trust your gut when you know something is just not right. Please pray for me as I struggle to overcome these stumbling stones and the pain and humiliation I have suffered.

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

Oh, my, the horror job you describe sounds a lot like my first one out of nursing school - the preceptor and manager from he||, being ganged up on in a meeting where lies were told, and finally being forced to resign (or be fired) - never mind that I had graduated with a BNS magna cum laude, it wasn't enough 'cause I just didn't fit in with that unit (or whatever. I never did find out what the problem really was*).

I felt just like you, believe me - I thought my career had ended before it even began, my self-condidence (never great) was destroyed, I felt like a total failure. Never mind that I was wronged, I still took it personally. I fell into a deep hole...

And then I applied at the other hospital in town and was immediately hired. No one asked if I had ever been fired and I explained that my first job just wasn't right for me (certainly NOT a lie!) I did well on the cardiac PCU there and was treated with respect; my new manager thought very highly of me.

So don't give up, experiences like yours - and mine - unfortunately happen much too often in nursing (yes, nurses eat their young and their own! No doubt!) But you will get over this and move on to something much better.

I wish you the very best,

DeLana :icon_hug:

*It may have been my nationality since the manager once compared me to Hitler (yes, you read that correctly).