UB Essay Question Feedback?

[maggasaur]

Hi all! I am applying to the University at Buffalo's Traditional BSN Nursing Program. When applying we are asked to submit essays of 250 words or less that answer the following amazing question:

What unique skills and talents do you possess that will contribute to the UB School of Nursing and the future of the nursing profession?

I have a passion for the English language, which is why I am currently pursuing both an English degree and a nursing degree. I take great pride in my verbal and written English skill because I think that being well spoken and well written is very important to any field of work. It is because of this passion that many of my friends and family ask me to read their written works, such as essays, resumes, and personal statements.

I enjoy teaching and it is a skill that I have acquired through many years of teaching and being a student. I have spent many years swimming competitively under the instruction of many coaches and have begun teaching within the last few years. I enjoy finding ways to make educating my swim students enjoyable and rewarding. Coaching has taught me to be confident when approaching situations with my swimmers and with their parents. It has taught me to be positive and motivational so that I can motivate my swimmers to work hard.

At Cavalry Country Club Pool, my Management and Head Coach positions have both taught me and built upon my skills and talents. My Lifeguard, CPR, First Aid, and CPR certifications, my training with Naloxone and Epi-Pen's, and my critical thinking skills are called upon frequently at the pool when accidents arise. My action planning, risk management, organization, and communication skills are also frequently being used and being built upon every day at work.

I was wondering if anyone could help by reading my answers and providing feedback. I'm worried that I'm going to sound cheesy and am really hoping to make my answers stand out. I will update as I write/complete my answers!

Thank you so much to anyone that reads/answers.

[LPNtoRNin2016OH, LPN]

your doing both degrees at the same time?! Girl that is something! I think you need more about nursing, less about English in your essay.

[maggasaur]

Yes I am :) Thank you so much for your feedback!

[Edeninthetrees, CNA]

Hi,

It sounds like you have great experience, now tie in that experience with how it would make you a great nurse (you have training in communication, you have and can teach patients/people, manage crises, etc) and how that would help the nursing profession as a whole (which is part of what the question is really asking). How can you make the school look good and keep the nursing profession in high standards using your unique talents?