True nursing school struggles

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 6, 2017

Other than being in a true struggle making it through nursing school. What other struggles did you face outside of school or prior to enrollment/admissions?
Prior to enrollment/admissions:
Were you prepared for the transition and changes/challenges?
Was the process new to you and did you find your self constantly asking questions or seeking reassurance?
When looking for answers or asking questions did you feel as if you were giving a cold shoulder or belittled?
How did you overcome any diffculities within time? Emotionally/ Mentally
**** Answer however it comes of when it is read. All experiences or any are immensley worthy.

I never had to study in high school -- which was good for high school, because I had a very challenging life in my home of origin. But that meant I didn't know how to study and I nearly flunked out my first semester while I figured it out. I asked questions, but seeking reassurance wasn't anything that brought me any reassurance with my family, so I've learned to not do that.

Excessive questions and seeking reassurance tend to wear out those from whom the reassurance is sought; such weariness may lead to cold shoulders or belittling. Perhaps that isn't "right" or "nice", but surely you can see how it's possible for someone to just be tired of the questions, tired of providing reassurance, especially if they see you as needy, clingy or a bottomless pit.

The answer, and this may come across as cold, is learn to stand on your own two feet. Instead of pestering someone with questions, research the answers to your questions for yourself. We tell new nurses and students to ask questions if you don't understand, but there are good questions and bad questions. An example of a bad question would be anything that you've asked multiple times previously -- if you cannot remember the answer, write it down. A good question would be: "I have an order to place a Foley on Mr. PeeDee because he has been unable to void in the eight hours after his last Foley was discontinued. I've read over the procedure and gathered my supplies. I think I have everything I need, but I've never placed a Foley before, so could we please go over the procedure before we go see the patient?" As for reassurance -- ask for feedback instead. For your instructors, "Based on the work I'm doing in class, where do you think I need to focus my study time," or something to that effect. Seeking blanket reassurance is something an adult (and if you're looking to enter nursing school, presumably you are an adult) should have outgrown.

I'm not an expert on mental health issues, although I've lived with them at times. A counselor may be able to help you sort through your issues and determine which are emotional issues and which are mental health issues. I made up my mind I was going to succeed in school and succeed as a nurse, and even though there were times when it was damned challenging, I did so. I made a few really dumb choices along the way -- married a man who wasn't emotionally mature (neither was I, or I wouldn't have married him) just because I wanted to be a part of his wonderful family, and then ended up having to go through a painful divorce because I couldn't live with his spendthrift ways, his infidelity or his pathological lying. And then I married an abuser. Leaving him, I learned finally to stand on my own two feet. It's a lesson that came hard, came late and didn't have to be so painful. A counselor of mine told me that we cause ourselves the most pain by trying to avoid legitimate pain. It makes sense, because those things that I did to avoid living through legitimate pain or uncertainty in the end caused me double or triple the pain.

I don't know if this answers your questions. But I think the nugget here is learn to stand on your own two feet without excessive questioning of others and without looking for reassurance from the outside.

Living_True · Apr 6, 2017

That was real deep... With time I know it is something I will have to do its just scary when everything is new and thrown at you... I know I am on my own and I am growing every other day every other day will be a lesson and I do ask many questions because I want to be prepared.... Its scary to face things on your own but sometimes thats your only choice... I try to to become to persistent with questions because I know repetition is overwhelming. Yet, everyone experiences life in there own unique way. For some its easier than others. Some just fit right in while others continue to find them selves. Personally I feel it doesnt hurt to try but it does hurt to fail and I am sure it is the same for everyone.

I truly enjoyed your response it was very deep. I cannot imagine what you have been through. I am glad you have acomplished so much and are such a strong solid person.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 11, 2017

I struggled the most with the social aspects of being in a nursing program. I have a reserved personality and do not enjoy small talk. This rubbed some of my instructors the wrong way, so I became a target for a while.

I also did not know how to manage the unspoken politics of nursing school. However, I have been a nurse for 11 years, so it is now water under the bridge.