Triage Gems

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A few recent gems from triage:

"pt complains of a fingernail stuck in her throat for 6 years; states it's causing fevers"

"pt fainted as his fiance cleaned his infected toe"

"pt arrives via ambulance for feeling tired and not wanting to take medication today"

"I'm allergic to all medications." "All medications?!" "Yes. they don't work."

"I have pain on the top of my head and my whole body is burning"

"I'm pregnant"

Laugh or cry??

Specializes in Emergency Room.

Patient came in describing symptoms of TIA but was back to normal by the time he got to the ER.

"Any medical problems?"

"Nope."

(His wife) "tell her about the heart thing!"

"Oh yes, I have Afib"

"Do you take any blood thinners?"

"No way! My Dr. Wanted me to but I vetoed that idea!!!" (Very proud of himself)

"Why?!"

"Because it's rat poison!! I'm on an all natural blood thinner. "

...yeah... How's that workin out for ya?

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