Hi there. I haven't been to this forum in forever. I used to come here all of the time when I was in nursing school back in 2005. I was in an lpn program. I was making good grades but felt that I lacked in the clinical aspect of things. I don't have the greatest of fine motor skills and I'm very self conscious. Above all, I think my lack of self esteem is what kept me from finishing nursing school. I just didn't believe that I was good enough. I quit the program not once, but twice. They were kind enough to let me in the next year, and I again quit the program, even though I only had one quarter left.
I just told myself that I wasn't meant to be a nurse. I loved the knowledge and information and the book part, but I was afraid of the clinical, hands on. I was petrified to actually give a shot or to perform any procedures. I quit before I ever got the chance to even try it. Now, I'll always wonder. I wasn't good at the clinical, but could I have gotten better over time with practice?
I didn't want to completely waste everything that I had learned, so I enrolled in a billing and coding program and I will be graduating in September. I've also started working at a hospital in the registration/admitting department. While that's great and all, I can't help but to feel a twinge of disappointment when I hear the nurses talking or see them in action. I sometimes think, "I could've been a nurse. I'm very awkward at times, but I'm an intelligent person." Couldn't I have overcome my obstacles with perserverance and a little self worth?
So that's all of it, out there on the table. In your professional opinion, would someone like me make a horrible nurse? Because I can't help but to want to try to get back into nursing school. Even if it means starting all over again with prereq's and all. I have this longing to be a nurse. I think I always will. I also have grown emotionally in the last couple of years. I think I know me better now.Maybe I could deserve it this time, if given the opportunity. Anyone have any advice?
