To everyone who didn't pass NCLEX the first time

[AndrewCabs]

Hello, my name is Andrew and after 5 years, I am happy to announce I'm officially a licensed RN.

I write this to hopefully give some hope/support to the nurses that unfortunately didn't pass the NCLEX the first time and maybe give you some inspiration. I officially graduated May of 2014 with a BSN. It was a long ride. I had realized my dream the end of my freshman year in college in 2008 and I went through all the hoops to try and get into the nursing program. After some pre-nursing classes which included long days at the nursing department waiting on the wait list for pre-reqs, I eventually got my second chance at another college. It wasn't a conventional ride by any means but that's ok, that's life. You grow up feeling that you need to accomplish things in a certain time frame and it just adds more stress to your everyday life. After graduating from college, I was on top of the world. I had looked forward to the next chapter of my life and thought about the future once I passed the NCLEX.

Unfortunately, the first time was not to be for me and I failed the NCLEX. I had always been a poor test taker with computerized exams and suffered from anxiety. I'm sure there are some of you out there that feel the same way when you take exams. The fact is, the NCLEX can be overwhelming without proper preparation. This is not an exam where procrastinators can get through it. My college had prepped us with two reviews: Hurst and Kaplan. For me personally, they never really clicked with me. I'd say from my experience that the best thing you can do is keep on doing questions and reviewing that way.

I want to make this clear that there are many factors that can happen in one's life that can make your journey more difficult. Once you fail, it can hurt you pretty deep. With the pressure of student loans, personal relationships, and kids in some cases it can be a daunting task to get back on track. As someone who has failed, I can tell you that I can completely understand the agony it can cause. You can feel ashamed, find it hard to face friends that passed when you're stuck behind, and know the dreaded feeling when you have to face family. I lived that life for five years. The solution is never the same with everybody. It's easy to say "study harder" but when your confidence is shot and you have to deal with the daily pressures of life it's more difficult than it seems. We all face our problems in our own way and I completely get that. While some people may find it therapeutic to see therapists or possibly see tutors, the next person might not be receptive to that. Find what works for you and stay focused on you, control what you can control. You only put more stress on yourself if you keep comparing yourself to others.

When you lose confidence and consider giving up, think about what got you to this point. We didn't do clinicals and deal with C-Diff for nothing. For me, I found my inspiration for nursing when I found out my first semester of college that a person I knew in high school had passed away from cancer. I had found out they wrote a blog journal detailing their experiences with the difficulties of cancer and the genuineness of the hospital staff. From that moment on, I was determined to be a nurse. I knew I'd do everything I could to make this dream a reality and not give up, because she wouldn't either. While I may have hit some obstacles in my life, I've always held on the best I can.

When you're out of school for five years, it's really hard to imagine finding the light at the end of the tunnel. While the pass rates are high if you pass it the first time, those numbers are pretty much cut in half if you don't. I was stuck in a rough place with my confidence gone and depression taking it's toll. Empathy for others is something that really got reinforced throughout this whole process. No one except for yourself truly knows the struggles you're putting up with. The turning point for me was giving UWorld a try. I had heard good things about it from some of my friends who also didn't pass the first time and decided to give it a go. As I said before earlier, the best thing in my opinion to do is keep on doing questions. I thought UWorld had the best representation of questions for the NCLEX compared to the ones and it definitely helped.

Five years later, I am very happy to write that I made it. I had decided to take the NCLEX two days after my birthday and unlike other times, I thought about different positive moments in my life the night before to calm me down. The memory that came to mind was a friend's mom who had passed away a year earlier that always greeted me at church no matter where she was sitting. I always made it a priority to greet her with a hug and it resonated with me that night. After arriving early to my test center the next morning I listened to some music and I was off. I'd recommend taking breaks when you have to and bringing a snack just in case you're there for the long haul. Two anxious days later, I checked the quick results and I learned I had passed. I called my mom who was at work and I shared a special moment with my dad afterwards. When I passed, it really felt all worth it.

You simply can't allow yourself to live with regrets. You made it to where you are today for a reason and fate will sort itself out. You had those sleepless nights and countless hours of studying in nursing school so you are prepared for this. You are prepared to handle adversity because you have worked so hard to get to this point. Don't let failure consume you. While we all wish we passed the NCLEX the first time, the reality is that life won't always go your way. It won't make you any less of a nurse. Don't let time and the stereotypes of prototypical time frames to get things done affect you. I hung on by the thinnest of threads for five years because I truly believed in my profession. I've waited all these years for this moment and I believe this new leash on life will make me a better nurse. You'll never regret not giving up. Whether it takes a few months or a few years, you will find a way to the light at the end of the tunnel if you don't give up.

Stay strong everybody,

Andrew