To be a CRNA or not..

[J&B-RN, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN, NP]

I'm looking for some current CRNAs or SRNAs for a little advice....

I am currently in the application process for two CRNA programs, I have had interviews at two schools and I am waiting for the acceptance/denial letters. I should hear by the end of the year or early January.

I'm kind of having second thoughts about the whole thing. My sights have been set on CRNA school for over 10 years now. I've had 3 years of ICU experience in a level 1 trauma center. I have an excellent gpa, I've taken all the classes and all the extra exams. I've literally been planning and preparing for this day. And now that it's here I'm just not sure I want it. it all sounds really overwhelming and mildly terrifying. I guess my big hang up is my anxiety disorder. I have generalized anxiety disorder and have panic attacks every once in a while, mostly related to doing new things and being in really stressful situations. The ICU was a big transition for me and pretty terrifying. (I cried and panicked, a lot, not at work thankfully but every night I got home) but I've managed to not only make it but rock it. I'm a good ICU nurse, a very strong ICU nurse. I work on the critical access team and I train new nurses. I've definitely mastered my fear of the ICU, and I know I have the skills to be a good CRNA, but I'm just getting cold feet and a little terrified that my anxiety will be maxed the entire school experience and cause me to fail.

are the any CRNAs out there that have experienced the same problem? How did you make it? How did you keep your cool and control you anxiety? Am I just asking for trouble? I've always wanted to be a CRNA and I don't want my fear to control me or make decisions for me but anxiety isn't something you can just make go away (no matter how many psych counsellors you've been to). I've been able to control my anxiety at work and I never lose my cool, but I won't be experienced anymore, I'll be right back to being a terrified novice.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

[Guest12/09/15, BSN, RN]

You worked too hard for this! Go for it! I am in my first year of CRNA school. It's do-able. We all have anxiety of course because we are unemployed full time students, but we keep telling ourselves that it'll be worth it in the end. :)

"It always seems impossible, until it's done."

[micurn0126]

Current SRNA student, I will be full time in school starting in June 2016.

Nothing worth doing is easy. Face the fear, and conquer it just as you conquered ICU fears. If you felt that sense of accomplishment from conquering ICU, imagine how it will feel to be an expert in delivering safe anesthesia care in any given situation!

[Stormy8]

I'm a SRNA starting school in the fall and I understand what you are saying. I'm nervous, excited, scared, you name it. But I have worked too hard to turn back now! You can do this! Believe in yourself!