Tired Nurse (Nursing Jokes)

[2bnurseforce1]

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 12-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and

Tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and

Without missing a beat, she says . . .

:

''Well, that's great . . . Just great . . . Some *******'s got my pen

[icyounurse, BSN, RN]

Heres one I thought was funny. Sorry if you guys have already heard it:

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"

[icyounurse, BSN, RN]

One more I thought was pretty funny:

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Moving to nursing humor. :)