Thinking about quitting school

[trytwo]

Just some background, I'm an older student on my second career, in an accelerated master's program. I'm 1.5 semesters into a 4 semester program. I'm regretting it now but I did not get any long term healthcare experience prior to starting my program. As a result, I feel very inadequate and incompetent. Once in a very rare while, I'll have a good day where I'm on top of everything I need to do for my patient, even if it is just getting water/walking the patient to the bathroom. 99% of the time, however, I feel like a complete moron. I fumble over baths and gown changes, forget parts of my assessments, get the patient (and even myself) tangled up in the lines. And that's basic, "easy" stuff that anyone with 0 training could do. I haven't gotten the opportunity to do the actual nursing skills (even though I'm allowed to) and I'm nervous about when I will.

The flip side is I'm doing exceptionally well in the classes part, and it's a tough program. I'm so afraid that I'm "one of those students" who has the brains but none of the common sense that it takes to be a good nurse (or even just an adequate one). It's to the point that I'm really considering quitting school. The thing is, I love people and I love taking care of them. I'm happiest when I'm chatting with them and they're sharing about their lives and opening up to me about how they're feeling, etc. But I feel like all the compassion in the world won't help when there's a patient coding or just needing actual nursing care. I also love the actual nursing part (what little of it I've experienced) but I feel so clumsy, like I'm fumbling most of the time and that feeling of utter incompetence makes me dread clinicals.

I understand that without knowing me, it's hard to say if nursing is a good fit. But maybe someone can offer insight into characteristic of nurses they've seen who are good nurses and those who need to stay far away from actual patient care. I'd love to someday be a nurse, but I don't want to do it at the risk of my patients' safety. Thanks!

[applesxoranges, BSN, RN]

First off, you're only 1.5 semesters in. If the common little stuff is bugging you so much, try to take a CNA class on the side and then work per diem as a CNA. In all honesty, my background was in EMS and ER so I can't do bed baths very well. I suck at changing the full bed. Those corners? I never could get them to work. In the ER, we throw a sheet down and call it a day. Bathing a patient? I'd probably take an hour to bath a patient like we're supposed to. In the ER, we're trying to get them cleaned up as much as we can.

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

First of all, remember that you've already achieved a Bachelor's degree in your career, so clearly you aren't incompetent, or a moron, or devoid of common sense. I think you have high expectations of yourself. Coming from another field in which you were well established, you're probably used to feeling like you can handle anything that comes your way. Nursing is a different animal, and your lack of experience with the skills/tasks is making you feel inadequate. Not because you are, not because you aren't experiencing something that every new nursing student goes through, but simply because you've become accustomed to having it all together.

Here's a secret: Everyone struggles with time management and multi-tasking, especially new students. Seasoned nurses will have "off" days where things just don't seem to go right. Nursing is a skill. Just like accounting, or sailing, or construction, or any other career.

Nursing is like driving a car. When you start learning, you have a general idea of what it will be like. But you have to learn the controls, how sharply to turn the wheel to make a smooth turn, how hard to step on the brakes and gas, coordinate the clutch and gas (if anyone knows how to drive a standard anymore), remember to turn on your blinker, or dim your high beams, parallel parking seems like an impossible feat. And at first you make a lot of mistakes- squeal the tires, stall the car, step on the brakes too hard, someone honks at you when you swerve into their lane, maybe you even hit a curb, and some days you'll feel like you'll never be able to parallel park on the first try. But as time goes on, you learn. Your acceleration becomes smooth, you're shifting gears without even thinking about it, you're changing lanes confidently, and you don't hesitate to slip into the only parking spot left on a crowded street. There are days you still feel hesitant. The first time you have to drive a new or bigger vehicle, when you drive to an area you're unfamiliar with, when it's snowing or icy and you crawl down the road wondering if you'll ever manage to make it home. Some days you make a mistake- don't see a car in the next lane, barely stop in time for a stop sign, run a red light because you aren't paying enough attention. And those moments remind you to pay a little better attention. But those basic skills you learned stay with you. And because you know how to operate the vehicle, you adjust, you get better, you feel comfortable with the new car in a matter of days, you don't dread driving in the snow quite so much.

Nursing is the same way. When you're a beginner, all the skills are new. You make mistakes a lot. You forget things. Because you're learning. But it doesn't stay that way.

If you wanted to quit nursing because you don't like it, because you don't feel it's the career for you, that's one thing. But if you want to quit just because you feel you haven't "got it" yet, please consider sticking it out. You're still learning to drive.

[trytwo]

Thank you! I actually considered getting a PCA job for the experience but I'd have to take time off from school. With a family and full-time school, I'm not sure working in addition to everything is doable. I think at the least I will see if I can take some of my clinical time to follow the PCA to see how he/she does things.

I appreciate the insight. I look at the other students in my cohort and everyone else seems to "have it all together" in the hospital. In my head, I know that everyone starts somewhere and struggles at some point but what I see doesn't seem to be the same. I really appreciated the driving analogy, I hadn't thought of nursing in that way and it makes a lot of sense. I think I have a comfort zone that I'd fallen into and nursing school has taken me way far away from that.

[mrsjonesRN]

I've been in Healthcare for 7 years...I get my patients tangled up in wires, I forget things, I am human, just like you. Don't give up! You are being too hard on yourself!

[PVCCHoo]

I second the comment about getting a job as a CNA. You probably don't even need to take a class. Most hospitals will hire you in a similar role after completing fundamentals or med surg in school.

Anyways I came in for a second degree and felt uncomfortable in the clinical environment. Got a job at the hospital this past summer and it made a huge difference.

I graduate in May and just accepted a job offer at my hospital - in an ICU no less. You can do this.

[trytwo]

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm looking into some prn PCA jobs, to get some more experience. I appreciate the thoughts and it helps to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Congrats, PVCCHoo on the job!

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

Some hospitals have jobs specifically designed for nursing students. I am older as I just turned 40. I'm a single mom, getting ready to change my entire life as I'm packing up and moving back to the big city. I'm starting my life over with my soulmate, but also trying to finish school and be a mom.

I have no previous healthcare experience and I'm very nervous as I graduate in May and I don't know anything!! I got a job as a Pct in a major hospital in the city. It's only one 12hr shift a week and if all goes well, it will turn into a RN position when I get my license. It's a magnet hospital and their big thing is how to retain nurses. So they do things like recruiting nursing students.

Reach out to your local hospitals. Talk to their HR depts. you may be able to find a place wanting to work with you.

[trytwo]

Wow! You are amazing, and very inspiring. That is a good idea, I didn't realize hospitals had such programs. Thank you!

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

Charting is as much a part of nursing as talking to someone. If you hate it then quit.