Thinking About Leaving Leadership

[Tait, MSN, RN]

I am an RN of going on 14 years. Five years bedside acute care cardiac specialty, three years off completing my MSN and making two beautiful minions (now 8 and 10 years old), and have been in education/new grad residency coordinator and now manager of professional practice for the last seven or so. My heart breaks every day for my nurses. I work in a middle management position that is supposed to help elevate nursing practice in my hospital, support shared leadership, and generally do lots of support for the nurses I work with. However lately I feel like I am screaming in to the void every day and honestly it is leaving me so exhausted and unhappy. My nursing leadership team is changing dramatically and I am afraid I am going to just be stuck running around lighting candles while someone blows them out behind me for the rest of my career (my analogy to trying to get shared leadership solidified). I have also realized there are ancillary departments that honestly would like to see nursing fail, and it is so frustrating to see. I am considering going back to patient care in an outpatient setting, where at least I know I will be making a difference in their lives. But I am also afraid. I have one spectacular CNL I mange and I am also the coordinator for the nurse residents that come through our facility. I know I am replaceable, but I have sunk a lot of my energy into making sure people have the best start they can.

I am honestly at a loss of what to do.

My mother keeps telling me not to "run back to the bedside" as though I am looking for a quick fix to all my problems. But seriously, just because I have the skills and ability to be in leadership, shouldn't mean I have to stay there if I am miserable.

Sad Tait

 

[litepath2]

Absolutely right. You do no have to stay anywhere you're miserable. And shouldn't.

There was a time when nurse managers could make all the difference. Probably is still in some places. But those places are drying up.

I think this graphic I am posting tells that tale.

Both me & my wife passed on management positions simply because we knew from watching that there was nothing nurse managers could do to help our nurses and improve the workload/workplace. 

That was good news for us, because we both really enjoyed beside. I left nursing in 2010, but my wife is still licensed. We staffed and travelled too. From what we saw and are seeing it's less and less about patient centered care. We also noticed a trend to get rid of older nursing staff, probably to save money and possibly to have younger nurses that are less likely to question directives.

But more germane to your dilemma, Leave. There are tons of other places that'd be lucky to get you. One of the coolest places I worked was a clinic that served only people well below the poverty line. The nurses, and staff and Docs there were all on the same page; and it was a beauty to behold.

 

Best of Luck!