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I am not sure if this is the right place to vent this, and this is certainly something I have trouble talking about. All my life I have had terrible anxiety, but while nursing I have usually been fine. I am in my first year nursing.
I nursed in Ottawa on a vascular SX unit, and it was stressfull and I loved it. I got married, and moved to Nova Scotia, worked mental health, hated it, then got a job on Vascular again. Somehow this is where the problem started. I shake everyday before shift, it can get so bad I cannot write my report sheet in the morning. Sometimes I break down into tears for no reason, I find myself hiding in the work bathroom to contain myself.
My doctor suggested that I take a month off, so I did. I was worried about losing my job, and letting my team down, but I couldnt function. Today I returned to work for the first time, and I had an easy assignment. But I still couldnt handle the stress of being here. I love working as a nurse, and I love vascular SX.
It just feels like I will never regain the nurse I know I can be, the nurse I used to be
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
This.
You can still be using your skills, less stress, while getting yourself healthy.
I have anxiety and depression due to PTSD; combined with a mood disorder trait; so I am on medications as a precaution; I am on an anti-typical antipsychotic and it has allowed me to handle high stress situations again; what woke me up was when I flamed out at a new job during my traumatic anniversary and "thought" I can be without medication; the trauma coupled with the "sink or swim" mentality was too much for me, even though I had great feedback initially.
I scaled back on the stressful settings and have worked myself back up to those type of situations and settings again; I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.
I can say I'm a whole lot healthier than I was a year ago.
Be gentle to yourself, and take care of your health FIRST-a healthy nurse is a better nurse.