The Deer Hunt

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

1:00 am Alarm clock rings

2:00 am Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed

2:30 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pick-up

3:00 am Leave home for deep woods

3:15 am Drive back home and pick up gun

3:30 am Drive like the wind to get to the woods before daylight

4:00 am Set up camp - Realize that you forgot the stupid tent

4:30 am Head out into woods

6:05 am See eight (8) deer

6:06 am Take aim and squeeze trigger

6:07 am "Click"

6:08 am Load gun while watching deer go over the hill

8:00 am Head back to camp

9:00 am Still looking for camp

10:00 am Realize you don't know where the camp is

-Noon- Fire gun for help - eat some wild berries

12:15 pm Ran out of bullets - 8 deer come back

12:20 pm Strange feeling in stomach

12:30 pm Realize you ate poison berries

12:45 pm Rescued!!

12:55 pm Rushed to the hospital to have stomach pumped

3:00 pm Arrive back at camp

3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer

4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets

4:01 pm Load gun - leave camp again

5:00 pm Empty gun on squirrel that is really bugging you

6:00 pm Arrive at camp. See deer grazing in camp.

6:01 pm Load Gun

6:02 pm Fire gun

6:03 pm One Dead Truck

6:05 pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer!

6:06 pm Suppress strong desire to shoot partner

6:07 pm In doing so, stumble and fall into fire

6:10 pm Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire

6:15 pm Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer in woods

6:25 pm Pick-up boils over - discover bullet hole in radiator

6:26 pm Start walking

6:30 pm Started crying, stumble and fall, drop gun in mud

6:35 pm Meet great big Bear!

6:35 1/2 pm Take aim

6:36 pm Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud.

6:36 1/2 pm Lose all control of bodily functions.

6:37 pm Climb tree

9:00 pm Bear departing, wraps gun around the tree

9:03 pm Feeling relieved that bear is gone

9:04 pm Start climbing down the tree

9:05 pm Fall out of tree

-Midnight- Home at last

-Sunday- Sitting in bed with cast on leg watching TV, slowly tearing hunting license into itty-bitty pieces.

[a_crftyldy]

:rotfl:

Sounds like my fishing trips where the only thing I catch is a cold.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Your fishing expierences must be patience testers.

[a_crftyldy]

Yep, between them, the kids, and the husband, I have the patience of a saint :rotfl:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Excellent point:D Oh for the good old carefree days of childhood:

[chris_at_lucas_RN, RN]

This is why it is called "hunting" (or "fishing") and not "catching!!!"

:rotfl:

Thanks! I needed that!!! :kiss

[Dave ARNP]

Yet another great one Fran!

Dave

[traveltiger]

Worked double shift in er, full moon last night, got home after 12am, missed 4 deer et 2 drunks, 1 skunk, supper left overs dried up in pan, 5 dead louse ridden ducks in my sink. " Honey, can you dress the ducks or should I get up and do it?" 'No dear I love your rest more sleep tight while I gut filthy fowl in my scrubs. ' This is why I left the city.... THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGH!