That feeling that you can't quite get anything right

live4today, RN · Jul 6, 2005

Hi Anna :)

I wanted to respond to your post before I log off for the night and get some much needed sleep. My expertise is mostly in med/surg and I've been a nurse since 1987 with some time off to recoup a few years before reentering nursing a few years ago.

Things in nursing (for me) were much better in 1987 to 1997, then five years later when I returned to nursing it was like entering a war zone. :chuckle I caught myself saying many times 'what the heck happened while I was out.:chuckle

You may be a new nurse, but you have other experience under your belt and some wisdom gained from your life experiences (I noticed on your profile that you are 41). :) Take it easy, always practice safety with your patients above all else. Better to be slow and precise than quick and sloppy which tends to create mistakes.

Dont' be so hard on yourself so soon. In time you will gain more confidence in yourself with working as a nurse and before you know it, you'll find yourself moving along more efficiently and with better time management techniques. Right now you are being oriented to working as a licensed nurse for the first time. As long as you know that you are progressing and learning along the way, don't sweat it. You'll be fine in time.

Keep us posted on how you do. I care. We all care at allnurses! :icon_hug:

Time for beddy bye now.

RN-PA, RN · Jul 6, 2005

Dont' be so hard on yourself so soon. In time you will gain more confidence in yourself with working as a nurse and before you know it, you'll find yourself moving along more efficiently and with better time management techniques. Right now you are being oriented to working as a licensed nurse for the first time. As long as you know that you are progressing and learning along the way, don't sweat it. You'll be fine in time.

Hi Anna! What Cheerfuldoer expresses above is exactly what was going through my mind as I read your post. I've never been too great about receiving criticism and when you're being oriented, your preceptor needs to sometimes criticize-- constructively, we hope-- so that you can learn. It's difficult because you're just coming from a school situation where you were most likely frequently criticized (I was!), and it's hard to continually experience the feeling that you don't measure up.

Please be patient with and kind to yourself as you go through this period, and try to lower your expectations of yourself. I know it's easier said than done when you're hearing more negative than positive during your orientation. Many preceptors aren't natural encouragers OR teachers, so you have to sift through their comments and learn from what you believe is true and let go of what may not be. Even ask for some positive feedback if you feel the comments are unfairly weighted by the negative.

I don't want to discourage you any further, but I often am still on a rollercoaster of emotion working med-surg 3-11 shift-- and I've been doing this for 11 years. I've often felt like a pinball as I fly through my 8 hours and I feel some evenings like I can't get it right-- can't please the patients or families; doctors get upset with me; and I'm always trying to prioritize and manage time properly. I did find that I felt better about things once I was off orientation and on my own. Nobody looking over my shoulder, scrutinizing everything I did. I was free to goof up and make some blunders, but oftentimes, I was the only one who knew about them. I'd learn from them (and beat myself up over them :) ) and move on to the next crisis.

And it's okay to cry or be angry or resentful or whatever-- this is a very stressful time in your life. I would suggest that you try to have balance in your life, and surround yourself with positive experiences on your days off to counterbalance the negatives you experience at work. Do something that you do well and enjoy. Exercise to sweat out the stress. Eat as well-balanced a diet that you can. Treat yourself in ways that build yourself up-- shopping or going out to lunch with a friend or a walk out in nature-- whatever rejuvenates you so that you can keep going back to "do battle" at work.

And enjoy and celebrate the triumphs and even the smallest successful steps you're making at work. We've all been there and understand what you're feeling. Med-surg is hard, and I'm not sure I could handle its demands starting out as a new grad today. You may find that 11-7 or 1900-0700 would be less stressful shifts or maybe even a different specialty. I am always challenged by and often stressed by med-surg, but I still feel like it's the best fit for me, and I hope you'll be able to say the same in the years to come.

Hang in there, Anna! :kiss

RNAnna · Jul 7, 2005

Thanks to both of you. It is difficult to have a couple of days off and have to think about how to address this situation before I go back to work on Friday. I've had a few really resentful and angry thoughts toward my preceptor, and toward how my orientation has been organized (or not) :innerconf

After this weekend I will be working a more full time schedule (not by choice) and I will be working with a different preceptor :yeah: The gal that I have been working with is going on vacation which is a bit of luck as I will be orienting with a preceptor who is much better suited to my personality and communication style. I don't want to say negative things about the nurse that I've been working with, but I really don't understand how she can tell me how well I'm doing and then tell the DON something completely different. We've had a little feedback difficulty all along.

So, I have another weekend to get through and try to make it a learning experience. Then I can gleen new perspective through the eyes of another nurse. I'm starting to warm to that possibility :Melody:

I'm still looking for different time management and prioritization tips and would like to hear from anyone about things that helped you when you first started out. Were there any materials/books/"brains", or whatever that were particularly helpful?

Thanks again.

Anna