Taking a break from school

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Hello all,

I am a current nursing school student. I just completed my 3rd semester (Medsurg 2) and have one year to go until graduation (I'm enrolled in a weird 5 semester program). I have worked so hard to get to this point and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but unfortunately I have to take a break from school.

I am one of those 2nd career nursing students in his early 40s; I'm also the last of six kids. My mother is elderly, 81 years young to be exact and unfortunately was Dx with SCLC a few weeks ago. We put her on hospice care last week and we're currently trying to make her as comfortable as possible. She was also Dx with dementia 3 years ago so we are dealing with her memory defecits at the same time.

I am struggling with this so much.

1. I am a nursing student, how could I not see this coming? I knew my mom had lost weight but thought it was the dementia getting worse and that getting her more care would help. Unfortunately, a couple weeks after we moved my mom in with us, she was Dx with cancer. It just kills me that the cancer was so far along before we finally caught it.

2. It feels like my siblings and me are at war! I work as a PCT in critical care at a local hospital and I see family drama so many times. I never thought it would affect my family but here we are in the exact same situation. How could things get so out of hand?

3. I've struggled with the decision over and over in my head. I've had people give me advice on both sides but I finally decided to delay my studies and spend the last weeks with my mom. It absolutely kills me because I've worked so damn hard but I know its the right thing to do. If I tried to go back to school right now I wouldn't be able to give it my full concentration and I know I would later regret not being there for my mom in her final weeks. I feel resentful to have to delay my studies, my family has sacrificied for me to go back to school. I've had to jump through so many hoops just to get to this point and now me and my family has to wait even longer for me to finish. That resentment makes me feel so damn guilty...uggh. I'm also terrified about taking a break from school. It sounds so simple, take a semester off and pick up where you left off but anybody who's been around a the block a few times knows that there are no guarantees in life. What if the opportunity to come back doesn't happen? I've reached out to my school to understand the policy but I haven't officially taken a leave of abscence yet.

Has anybody had to take a semester off and then come back to finish their degree? Any stories, advice or tips you could give me would be appreciated as I want to take care of my mom and then set myself up for success to get back to school and finish school

Thanks everybody, if nothing else for letting me vent a little here,

Ratrob

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

I'm so sorry that you find yourself in such a sad place.

Have you discussed this with your program director? I encourage you to do so. Based on my own experience with similar situations, they will probably be very supportive. As for feeling guilty - please don't. We don't pick up on abnormalities/illnesses with people in our immediate circle because those symptoms develop so gradually that they just aren't noticeable.

Don't forget to take time for yourself. You can use that 'down time' to engage in continuing education programs. Ultimately, you will have a unique frame of reference that will improve your nursing practice by heightening your awareness of the importance of patient & family advocacy.

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Friend,

Don't beat yourself up over this. I have been an RN for almost 40 years- and I didn't recognize my father's Parkinson's disease. I also had to have 'the talk' about hospice for my dad with my step-mother- only to arrive back home a week later and find him suffering and miserable in REHAB! My RN sister was furious- as though it was my idea!

Dad passed three weeks ago- and I do not for a second regret the time I spent with him in his last days.

Peace to you and your family.

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