Sympathy card given to patients with fetal demise

[freedom4]

Last night at work was a day from *&^(. I had a patient come in and she was in very active labor. This was her 4th child and we knew that labor was something she was familiar with. I got her on the toco an then started looking for heart tones, and couldn't find them. I just started in labor 2-3 months ago, so I thought maybe it was my inexperience. Though the lady was pretty small, and I couldn't quite figure out what the problem was. The thought never occurred to me that maybe there were no heart tones. A co-worker came in and told me to go lower. She didn't realize that I started lower, and had been looking for 10 minutes.

Well to make a long story short the lady delivered a stillborn beautiful baby boy at 40 weeks gestation about 1/2 hour later. She came in a week before this with braxton hicks and the baby's Fetal heart tones looked great.

They were passing a card around for us to sign for the patient, and I want to say something from the heart about how truly sorry I am. I also want to say something about how beautiful the baby was. Does anyone have any words of advice or poems that they put on cards. I have had a few demises lately and everyone always states pretty much the same thing.

"I am sorry for your loss, and my thoughts and prayers are with you"

Thanks for any advice.

[NursePaula]

Jamie and Sunny,

Thank you both! I am going shopping for a special ornament for both our tree and my daughter's today.

Sunny, I can honestly say that whatever you wrote in the card was fine, but I can tell that you felt it was an honor to care for that baby and mother and that is what she will remember. People forget what you say, but they NEVER forget how you made them feel.

A long time ago when trying to deal with all the emotions of a baby dying I talked to a member of the clergy and what he said made sense to me. He said that the soul of that baby was so special and precious to God that he wanted to make sure that the baby was never tempted and guaranteed a place in Heaven with God. After that I always felt that it was such a privilege and honor to be allowed to care for a baby that died, and I know that each and every baby has touched my heart like nothing else ever could.

And to take that one step further, I am honored and privileged to be the grandmother of my little Shirley Rose. For God to have trusted our family with his special angel warms my heart.

I apologize for bringing religion up to anyone that is offended, but if thinking of a baby dying in these terms helps just one nurse, mom, grandma....then that is how I feel.

Our babies are playing together as we speak....

Hugs to both of you,

Paula