Supervisor Loves to Micromanage

[pcaldea]

Hi guys and gals,

I've been at my current desk job for over 8 months. I've messed up a few times (by forgetting to pick up labs, messing up samples, late data entry, giving late notice when I'm planning to come in late, etc.) mostly bad choices that I've learned from and moved forward.

Except my supervisor LOVES to bring them to light. She never gets tired of bringing them up. First to her immediate supervisor and lately to HR director. She is new to management and our personalities simply put, do not get along, at all.

I'm laid back, mellow and she is somewhat aggressive, go-getter, career focused. I'm a mom, had my kids early on, we are about the same age. She has accomplished more professionally because she is not married and lives on her own. She thus has time to throw herself completely to her newfound power!

She is extremely controlling. Not willing to trust me on handling the studies I manage. At her request, we meet with once a week for an hour and go over (with a fine tooth comb) each study so that she is up to par on what I am up to and what is coming up. She loves to memorize the facts of the studies' status and presents said status at research team meetings with a gleam in her eye and doesn't fail to impress the PIs.

Her supervisors love her because of the demonstrated dedication that she's shown. She works 50-60 hours a week. She's a blue-ribbon brown-noser and kiss a$$. I don't much care for niceties. I like doing my job and going home. She loves to keep up with what time I get there and what time I leave. Once, I got there at 8 am and left at 4. Since I'm supposed to work 4 10 hour days, she immediately sent an email to my HR supervisor to ask her where the rest of my hours that I didn't work would be deducted from, "would it by my PTO?" she wondered.

I truly think that with all the work that she has, she should not be worried about what time I leave/come in. I'm a salaried employee. Lately I had been taking off some days and others coming in a bit late or leaving early. Mostly due to some legal and health related issues that I'm going through. I didn't want to disclose the nature of these appointments but she took it upon herself to call me out to the HR director. During said meeting, I ended up giving my 2 week notice. I cried during the meeting too because she complained that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving I had left early when she had told me not too. Well the reason I did that was because my 12, 11, and 9 year olds had been by themselves for the 3rd day in a row. I had been holding my breath each day that I left them by themselves after childcare arrangments fell through. I didn't think that leaving early would be a big deal.

All the while I cried she had this smirk on her face, almost like she was enjoying my humiliation. I wanted to slap that smirk off her ugly face! The next day I completely avoided her. There I was contemplating leaving a job that I so much enjoy and leaving it because I cannot get along with my supervisor. I told my HR supervisor and HR director that I could not and would not be able to stay at my current position. And made it very clear that it was because of her.

She does not treat other research coordinators that way and she even said that because i'm not only a RC but also an RN that I bring a lot of value to the team. Well I sure don't feel valued! I hate her and even though it cost me a great deal of sacrifice of going through nursing school full-time while my kids were younger, I refuse to go to work to be under her tight grip. She revels in the power that she has over me.

I hate her so much! But I really enjoy what I do! I've spoken with her supervisor and even the director of the program who both stand behind her 100%; the director particularly dislikes me. I think it's a female thing. I don't know but does anyone else think that there seems to be more animosity between female supervisors and their female employees... ??

What should I do? I gave my verbal 2 weeks notice but have not actually sent the email to make it 'official.'

Thanks!

[coffeetalker]

Sorry to say that it sounds like when you talked with the HR supervisor and HR director you' ve burned this bridge, I think at this point you should put in a very nicely worded formal notice and move on. Eight months is not a long time to be at a job and since you say that you had "messed up" , you have not had time to adequately redeem yourself - which probably explains her fine combing things. And just because you are salaried does not necessarily mean that you can come in late/leave early without at least a " I have some personal things that I need to take care of"- it just seems that there are some things you could have done to try to diffuse this situation.

[nutella, MSN, RN]

At this point I guess it is too late for any attempts to rescue your job.

I am sorry to say that but you do have to show up on time and work the hours you are paid for or ask for PTO/make arrangements.

It is normal to meet with a direct manager/supervisor weekly to discuss how things are going.If you are legit sick and have reasons to miss work you should probably next time apply for a intermittent leave so similar to protect your job.

At this point it is probably best you move forward and start looking for a job.

[dishes, BSN, RN]

To be an effective research coordinator you need to be detail oriented and analytical, if you are going to redeem your job you will need to communicate in a manner that shows you have these personality traits, otherwise you will be considered a hinderance, not only by your manager but by the the PIs as well. If your employer gives you a second chance, you will need to prove yourself. You will need to recognize that you have an emotional communication style and your manager has an analytical communication style, your style is the one that needs to be adapted.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Think of your first year on the job as a long audition.

An experienced RC who has proven results and a stellar record maybe has a bit more leeway to come in late sometimes and be a little more relaxed on the niceties. A new hire does not.

[pcaldea]

Thank-you for your replies. Some things that were said during the HR meeting I did not mention. It was convened to discuss my attendance which some of you have interpreted as a habitual offender. However this is not the case. Both my HR supervisor and the HR director said hat they were not there to terminate me but rather to work things through. Both also said their desire to keep me on the team and my HR supervisor asked me what they would need to do to keep me on the team. At the conclusion of the meeting, after I said that could not stay on the team, the HR supervisor offered to help me find a job within the organization.

Anyway, themain attendance issue was requesting days off without advance notice. Like I mentioned before I've going through medical issues. At one point I needed surgery. Even then I only missed 2 days. One time I needed to take my father to ED then ended up spending the whole night waiting. He ended up being admitted.

I work with 4 PIs and their studies. Two of the PIs have commended me on my performance and regularly give me positive feedback in person and via email. I've made errors on all studies, particularly more so in the other 2 PIs' studies. They are not as understanding and forgiving and have a fame for being hard to deal with. I'm ok with that.

At any rate thank-you for your comments. I'm leaning more towards finding another job however I hate to leave a position just because of one lousy supervisor. Especially to leave a career that I am getting so good at. I started from nearly zero research experience and to now look at what I'm accomplishing, I'm super proud of myself. I told this to one of the PIs that I get along well with and he agreed but said that the choice was up to me.

In the end, I don't want to look back and wish I had stayed/left. What makes this worse is the fact that for all the work that I do, I don't get paid very well. I could stay at home if I wanted to but I'm doing something that I enjoy.

Thanks for your advice.

[chare]

...I gave my verbal 2 weeks notice but have not actually sent the email to make it 'official.'

This you need to address immediately. While you might not think it "official," your employer might.

Best of luck in whatever decision you make.

[idialyze, BSN, RN]

You don't seem to realize you have thrown away the best job you will ever have. So sad.