I guess this is mostly a vent but if anyone can give me advice on how they got over similar feelings I'd be much appreciative.
I haven't even started school yet but I took a PT job as an aide/clerk. I'm 28 and I've worked with people a lot in the past in customer service positions. I really enjoyed those positions and never thought of myself as shy before.
However, now I've worked exactly 12 hours in my new job and I feel terrified with the patients! I've never worked in health care before and I feel stupid and afraid of everything. I don't know how the beds work, what exactly I should be doing during team lifts, what all the lines/IV's and such are hooked up to patients, what I can touch, what I can't... It's sooooooo stressful. I'm afraid to do anything without being told -- because I'm deathly afraid I'll hurt someone or make some horrid error -- but at the same time I obviously don't want it to appear that I'm lazy or have a bad attitude.
One of the things that has really caught me off guard is how LOUDLY everyone talks to the patients. I understand that a lot of the people are hard of hearing but I really have trouble speaking so loudly to them; I feel like I'm yelling at them. I'm accustomed to using a smooth, polite "telemarketer" voice when dealing with customers. Instead I'm listening to my trainer converse with an elderly patient and it sounds like, "NANCY DID THEY GIVE YOU YOUR SEDATION YET?" *taps patient on shoulder repeatedly* "NANCY? NANCY? NANCY DID THEY...." and I'm just dumbfounded thinking that I will never possibly be able to be that, hmmm, I dont' want to say aggressive but perhaps "assertive" with a patient.
Have any of the rest of you felt shell-shocked after your first couple of days in the clinical environment? I feel totally off-kilter and not confident and it's really stressing me out. I'm going in for a full day tomorrow and while I feel excited I also have knots in my stomach like I were going to be giving a presentation instead of going to work.
Oh, and if you read this far, thanks for listening. It felt good just to get that off my chest :)
I also have no medical background. Today at our hospital training the speaker started a story about too much water in a foley catheter, too little drawn out, and I guess the student pulled out a partially deflated catheter. Anyway, most of the crowd was gasping and sort of laughing as they knew where the story was going...I had NO CLUE what they were talking about as I only know a foley catheter is a catheter..didn't know you used water to inflate/deflate. I felt like it just went over my head and I was the only person not getting the punchline. By the end of the story I put 2 & 2 together but it just reminded me so much that my peers have overall more knowledge starting out than I do
There are students in my class that audibly gasp all the time when the teacher is telling a story that you know is going somewhere bad. Most of these students don't have a clue what the teacher is talking about.
In response to Tasha specifically-- No, I didn't take CNA courses and I'm sure they would have helped immensely (!!!) but unfortunately the way things worked out I had to continue working FT until school was about to start (esp. since I won't be working during school). That didn't really allow me much time towards other endeavors.
On top of just being completely new to this field, I keep making matters worse for myself by reflecting on how these are actual peoples' lives and general good health which I hold in my hands. That level of responsibility really makes me nervous because it's not like I can say, "Oh, I'm very sorry that we dropped your husband and fractured his hip, Mrs. Smith--we'll get you another one right away..." like I could in customer service when a delivery person scratched a customer's floor or wall or something.
And secondly, the fact that I will be attending school at this same hospital (and most likely working there after graduation) makes me all the more conscious of what type of reputation I'm building. I mean, it's not exactly like I can burst into tears and go running off and never return if I make a complete fool of myself on the job because I have to come back for school no matter what. Not that I would just run off (I never have from a job before)--it's just the fact that the option of running away from the stressful situation has been taken away from me and that in itself stresses me out! What a nutcase I am!
Anyway, another big THANK YOU for all of the replies and encouragement! :wink2: It's been so long since I started something that was both entirely new AND challenging that it knocked the wind out of me when I didn't feel confident at all. It really did soothe my soul to hear from you all!
The good news is that I went in for an 8 hour shift on Saturday and felt incredibly more comfortable because at least some of the shock had worn off. I still feel like a ditz though
I just started working nights at a children's hospital and I felt so inadequate the first few weeks. Everyone seems to know what they are doing and I felt like they were so busy I didn't want to bother them. Now I ask the nurses, especially the charge nurse if I am unsure about something.
I've never worked medical before so I didn't even know about syringes and the amount of ml each one holds, how to stock the med room and treatment room and where is everything located on my unit. Boy I did feel so lost.
On my first "official" night, I was the only Clinical assistant on duty and I was still unsure how to do urine dips and Accuchecks on patients.
I wanted to quit, but this is the network I want to work for after I graduate and thought it was probably not a good idea to run away and cry. I wanted to say " I can't do this!" and run home. But I decided to take it one step at a time and force myself to finish vital signs on all 20+ patients q 4 hr (I don't remember the exact # of patients, the night is kind of a blur).
I've learned alot since that first night. It's only been a month and a half, I still get nervous before I go to work but each time it gets a little easier and I truly enjoy helping the patients as much as I can.
That's for posting and making me feel that I am not alone.
leopold
179 Posts
There are students in my class that audibly gasp all the time when the teacher is telling a story that you know is going somewhere bad. Most of these students don't have a clue what the teacher is talking about.