stupid complaints...so frustrating!

ventmommy · Sep 23, 2011

I am sorry that happened to you. There are lousy parents. I know some. I feel bad for the their kids and the nurses. I know a mom that I am pretty sure gets off on abusing/manipulating her daughter's nurses.

Don't you chart #wet diapers? If so, did they think you were not charting correctly? A decrease in the number is our first sign of a UTI and our nurses report a decrease immediately because his UTIs are always Bactrim-resistant Klebsiella.

It sounds like both parents are just being ridiculous. If you have no cell signal and there is no house phone what are you supposed to do in an emergency?

SDALPN · Sep 23, 2011

Yes diapers were documented as they happened. I was checking the diaper about every 30 min. to make sure it wasn't wet for long at all. So frustrating!

Not sure what they would like done in an emergency if we have no cell signal. Unfortunately this agency doesn't require families to have a basic land line. One agency I used to work for required it.

I'm just soooo tired of rediculous parents. I love PDN though. It just seems like these parents are getting harder and harder to please. No matter what the nurses do, it seems these parents are not happy. I know there are a few good ones still out there. But its so rare now.

caliotter3 · Sep 23, 2011

Yes, it is a power trip, whether the parents do not like you because of your ethnicity or your age, or the car you drive, or the fact that you are not ugly enough to discourage the husband, or any other 'reason'. They almost never tell the agency that they just plain don't like you. That would be honest and they don't believe they would get what they want by not fabricating something. This is one of the hazards of home health care. The real problem lies with how your agency handles the situation in regards to your future assignments. If the agency personnel see that it is the problem of the clients, and not a failing on your part, then you won't be 'punished'. However, this usually doesn't happen. If you feel that the agency is distancing itself from employing you, time to look for a new agency. That is about all you can do to stay reasonably employed in home health.

SDALPN · Sep 23, 2011

Unfortunately, my agency rarely admits its the family. But I have heard it. It just doesn't look good on me when it happens. I've had a few issues recently. But really its more like the parents had issues. I always do my job and give quality work. I always ask the parents before I leave if there is anything else I can do for them or their child to make sure everything is completed to their satisfaction.

I really wish the agency would give these parents a reality check when they take on the case. They need to tell the parents what to expect and how to deal with common situations. The parents need to understand we have laws we have to follow (like when they want an unprescribed med given) so they don't get mad at the nurse for doing their job. They need to be clear that the nurses are there to be nurses, not babysitters for their other kids or any other non-nursing tasks. While I don't mind doing laundry or cleaning a pts room/area, I'm not doing it for the rest of the family. The parents need to understand that if the pt is so basic we only give 2 meds via GT in 12 hours that we need to bring something to do if there is no tv/radio in the room. I hate being in those homes where I'm expected to sit and stare at a wall or worse...sit on a floor where secretions have landed for 12 hours and still have no tv/radio/stimulation....all with a basic care type pt. Then the parent gets mad because the nurse brought in a laptop or phone or book to avoid staring at a wall. It seems the nurse always gets blamed no matter what the problem is. Usually due to lack of the parents education in some form. If the agencies would make this type of thing clear up front, it would really help both the parents and the nurses. But instead, the agencies don't say a word and then the nurse goes in and the parents don't like something and tell the agency they don't want a nurse back. I usually find the complaints are petty and easily resolved. I've watched nurses get kicked off cases before that were good nurses with great personalities.

You mentioned the nurses the husbands could be attracted to. I still consider that to be the parents problem. We are there to do a job. If the mother doesn't have trust with the father its not our problem!! I've only had a few mothers not want me around their husbands. I try to make it clear that I'm in a relationship and I'm happy. I always hope that comforts them.

On a sidenote...time to leave for work. I'm looking forward to the roaches today. The roaches are easier to deal with than the crazy parents!

caliotter3 · Sep 23, 2011

Roaches have no hidden issues. They like to run around and look for food. They don't want any trouble from anything or anybody. They will insure you are never lonely if you allow them.

SDALPN · Sep 24, 2011

I'd name them, but I'd run out of names before running out of roaches!

ventmommy · Sep 24, 2011

I'd name them, but I'd run out of names before running out of roaches!

EWWWWWWWWWW!!! :uhoh3:

Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN · Aug 27, 2013

Posting so I can subscribe and come back later to post my two cents :)

Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN · Aug 27, 2013

I just recently was removed from 2 cases. One parent complained that I was using my cell phone. Yes I was using it....to look up the hours for the childs Dr. office on the weekend since the parent was asking for the hours. I don't get a cell signal out there for calls but I can use wireless internet to check on that. They have no home phone (I hope they are there when 911 needs to be called).
The other case the parent complained because I didn't change his diaper often enough. There are orders to crede the bladder!! He retains urine!! But when the diaper was wet, it was soaked and changed immediately. After my shift the parent went in the trash to check for the number of diapers. They don't have an order for a certain number of wet diapers so the number shouldn't matter as long as the child was dry. Then the parent complained that I didn't play with the kid. His diagnosis (without giving too much info) basically means the only thing functioning in his brain is enough to keep up breathing and pulse. He can't hear, can't see. Touching results in a seizure. What exactly would they like me to do to play with him? And if it was such a problem, why didn't they talk to me before complaining to the office?
Sometimes I think its a power trip for the parents I understand they get some bad nurses from time to time or there is a personality conflict. But there are better ways to handle things!!

Soooo frustrating, all I can say is that I totally feel your pain.

I'm just soooo tired of rediculous parents. I love PDN though. It just seems like these parents are getting harder and harder to please. No matter what the nurses do, it seems these parents are not happy. I know there are a few good ones still out there. But its so rare now.

I agree! Sometimes it truly seems like a fools errand to please parents; no matter WHAT you do you can't win! And on the days you happen to amazingly please the parents... You get the NOC nurse mad at you for no reason! :bangs head:

Yes it is a power trip, whether the parents do not like you because of your ethnicity or your age, or the car you drive, or the fact that you are not ugly enough to discourage the husband, or any other 'reason'. They almost never tell the agency that they just plain don't like you..[/quote']
This made me laugh (especially the part about the car) because its just all too true! The thing with the dads also! Arrgghhh!
Unfortunately, my agency rarely admits its the family. But I have heard it. It just doesn't look good on me when it happens. I've had a few issues recently. But really its more like the parents had issues. I always do my job and give quality work. I always ask the parents before I leave if there is anything else I can do for them or their child to make sure everything is completed to their satisfaction.
I really wish the agency would give these parents a reality check when they take on the case. They need to tell the parents what to expect and how to deal with common situations. The parents need to understand we have laws we have to follow (like when they want an unprescribed med given) so they don't get mad at the nurse for doing their job. They need to be clear that the nurses are there to be nurses, not babysitters for their other kids or any other non-nursing tasks. While I don't mind doing laundry or cleaning a pts room/area, I'm not doing it for the rest of the family. The parents need to understand that if the pt is so basic we only give 2 meds via GT in 12 hours that we need to bring something to do if there is no tv/radio in the room. I hate being in those homes where I'm expected to sit and stare at a wall or worse...sit on a floor where secretions have landed for 12 hours and still have no tv/radio/stimulation....all with a basic care type pt. Then the parent gets mad because the nurse brought in a laptop or phone or book to avoid staring at a wall. It seems the nurse always gets blamed no matter what the problem is. Usually due to lack of the parents education in some form. If the agencies would make this type of thing clear up front, it would really help both the parents and the nurses. But instead, the agencies don't say a word and then the nurse goes in and the parents don't like something and tell the agency they don't want a nurse back. I usually find the complaints are petty and easily resolved. I've watched nurses get kicked off cases before that were good nurses with great personalities.
You mentioned the nurses the husbands could be attracted to. I still consider that to be the parents problem. We are there to do a job. If the mother doesn't have trust with the father its not our problem!! I've only had a few mothers not want me around their husbands. I try to make it clear that I'm in a relationship and I'm happy. I always hope that comforts them.
On a sidenote...time to leave for work. I'm looking forward to the roaches today. The roaches are easier to deal with than the crazy parents!
Expectation management for these families would be VERY helpful. I find all too frequently that to get a case (or steal a case from a competitor) an agency will promise the sun, moon, and stars.... And of course, not deliver. This sets up any nurse coming in that house for failure. The parents are already peeved at the agency and likely skeptical of any nurse walking through their door. It's truly maddening.