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Struggling to move forward

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by Pab89 Pab89 (New) New

Specializes in Healthcare Support Worker. Has 7 years experience.

I am a Health care Support Worker for the NHS Staff Bank, and I posted in 2017 about being "Haunted by my mistake".

The mistake was that a patient had reported chest pain, and I forgot to pass it on to a staff nurse (as in, the thought completely left my head), as it was a busy point of the morning. The patient died 2 and a half hours later, and though I sought the advice of other nurses on here, I never told the nurses on the ward.

Despite the consoling I received on here, and from my mother (a qualified nurse), that particular moment hits me every now and then, but has been especially bad this year with my anxiety.

I believe it stems from my not taking accountability for my error, and I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how you would move forward from here.

Your feelings sound identical to mine. I think there are much more healthcare workers out there that are suffering in silence like we are, but it is never talked about. And it is difficult for many to understand if they don't work in healthcare. I just want to say, you were not negligent. You did not purposely forget to tell someone. We have all forgotten to say or do something. And the patient would have been in contact with others after speaking with you. ❤️

 

Pab89

Specializes in Healthcare Support Worker. Has 7 years experience.

Thank you, Marie ❤  I agree with you (and the podcast you shared) that a culture of openness and vulnerability where we talk about our worries and our regrets is what's needed to make us all better, more supportive caregivers.

This site is a perfect example of what can happen when we all support each other openly ❤

Edited by Pab89

JadedCPN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU. Has 15 years experience.

I would suggest, if you haven't done so already, talking to a professional about this situation and your anxiety related to it. 

RatchedAfterMidnight, MSN, APRN

Specializes in PMHNP/Adjunct Faculty. Has 7 years experience.

I would recommend EMDR therapy specifically. As healthcare providers we take on the trauma of our patients daily and if not addressed you will burnout, be your own worst enemy at work daily, and experience moral injury that builds up. Burnout and moral injury are different and moral injury applies more to your case. Moral injury “occurs when we bear witness to, perpetuate, or fail to prevent an act that transgresses our deeply held moral beliefs.” 99.999% of healthCare providers seek to do a great job and want our patients to be well. You did not go to work to purposely not pass on this information. It’s not just you there either. If I am the RN I know my patients, can walk past my patients and know they’re in distress. You are putting the blame solely on yourself when there are other licensed staff members on the floor and you work in a system that has many things out of your control: understaffing, acuity. If you reframe this experience in this way while going through trauma informed therapy, you may have failed to pass on information that could have helped but you did not cause your patient’s death. With cardiac events the patient may get treatment and still pass away. There are so many unknowns that you cannot place the blame solely on yourself. By doing so, you prevent yourself from giving thousands of future patients your 100% because of your own fear of failure. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6752815/

The last 2 posts l think were meant for Pab89.  Pab89 posted"Struggling to move forward".