Struggling Graduate Student- any words of wisdom?

[missRN123]

Hello everyone,

I was a member of all nurses many years ago when I was in my Bachelors program to become a RN. It is now many years later and I am now back in school for my MSN. I am currently working full time and going to school part time at very challenging graduate program which is mostly online.

This isn't easy for me, it's scary for me in general to put my feelings out there because I don't want to seem weak, but I'm at a point that I need some advice from people who are like me and going through a nursing graduate school program and worked full time or have gone through a similar process. I am struggling with the work/school/life balance, and I am beginning to think it's hopeless and will probably be like this the entire time. I don't want to fall into a depression as a result of school, that's not healthy. I also don't want to give up and quit since I am in a school known for it's academics and I wouldn't reach my goal of getting a Masters! I want to find the happy medium. It's still only the 1st semester, and its a 2 year part time program.

I feel like I'm back in my bachelors program where I felt it was like a "weed out" program, but at least when I was in my bachelors I was going to school full time and didn't have a family to worry about and could focus solely on my academics. I am still adjusting to the lifestyle of being back in school with listening to lectures, doing the readings and homework assignments, exams, etc. I feel like I'm starting to get back into it.

I do have an academic advisor, and I have already met with her once. The program plan is to take 2 classes a semester, and they do not want us to deviate from the plan because they want us to stay in our cohort but as a last resort I could take 1 class at a time, it will just take much longer, maybe 4 years part time.

With the dynamics of online school, it's hard to get that real person to person connection so I really don't personally know any of my classmates. In my personal life, I have been making jokes to my family and friends that I probably won't see them too often while in graduate school. Most of my friends are already past the graduate school phase if they were already planning on it for their own career goals or they are just living their life working and socializing. I have come to realize that I really need to reduce my "friend" time to manage my workload, which I have already started (once a week only) and it's depressing to think about it. I also am a very active person and as a result of my school/work workload I have not been able to exercise like I have which I truly miss a lot (and as a result I am starting to gain weight)! I really do love being physically active, it also makes me feel great. I apologize for all the whining. I am usually a very positive person.

Any general words of wisdom? Especially from people who are experiencing or have gone through graduate nursing school. Help.

Thank you for reading and for the support.

[HappyWife77, BSN, RN]

Well.....since you are just starting, it's probably safe to say you are getting adjusted to the transition. It is a big change, but it's not forever. If you need to drop to 1 class....after this semester so be it. Then maybe go back up to 2 then back to 1. Whatever works best for you is what is important.

Also try to get up early to get exercise time in. I wish you the best!

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

Hi there!

I just graduated with my DNP. I did the bsn/dnp bridge, and it took me 3 1/2 years. I had only been out of nursing school for a year before I restarted. All of my schooling (nursing/grad) was online, so I guess I was very used to the online way of life. I made sure I became friends with my classmates - on fb, emails, etc. They really saved my life, and we were each others support system throughout the programs. Only people who are IN - or walked in- your shoes can understand what you are going through.

I can honestly tell you that the grad school program was the hardest thing I had done in my entire life, and I gave birth to a 10 pound boy without anesthesia. I had to make sure that I worked in exercise time any way I could. I originally was getting up at 4am to work out, but that faded with time. During my studies, I made it so that I would set an alarm for the top of every hour and do something for 10 minutes (yoga, treadmill, rapid house cleaning!!!) and then get back to the books. It made me retain my studies better - seriously!!!

I worked full time through it all, and my youngest son was in high school and active in sports, so I had to make time for the games. I never felt like I had a time to call my own. The last 3 semesters of my masters program (still taking doctorate courses), I think I cried every day. I begged my husband to let me drop out just so I could regain my sanity. Darn guy believed I could do it, and didn't give his "blessing" to let me drop...so I stuck it out and made it. He kept telling me, "If it were easy, everyone would do it". Sometimes it sucks when people believe in you! haha!

I think the thing that made me keep on keeping on was the fact that my colleagues in the program were feeling the exact same way I was, and we all just would not let each other quit. I didn't want to see them graduate before me, and vice versa. I wanted to be with them. I would keep telling myself "only 12 more months" and all that. I found some way to just make it through each day.

When you fight for an end goal so hard, and the struggle has been such a fight, you have something you can be extremely proud of. If this is what you know you are supposed to do, don't let anything stand in your way! Just put 1 foot in front of the other, and you will eventually cross that finish line!

and dont worry about being "whiney". We have ALLLLLL been there!!

Best of luck! keep us posted!

[missRN123]

Thank you for your post. I appreciate hearing your experiences and I like your tips especially "During my studies, I made it so that I would set an alarm for the top of every hour and do something for 10 minutes (yoga, treadmill, rapid house cleaning!!!) and then get back to the books." I like how you incorporated during your devoted study time!

[missRN123]

Thank you for your response.

[HappyWife77, BSN, RN]

What a blessing it is to have a hubby who supports us and believes in us....I could not gotten thru my schooling without his support. I knew going into it that his support in my life is how I would stay motivated. That is just me though... I thank God for him!

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

I couldn't agree with you more about the hubby part! He was amazing through it all!!

[TSM2017]

Julie that is really inspiring. I hope I can keep some of the things you mentioned in mind for my program.