Staying Positive In All of the Negative

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Specializes in psychiatry, community health, wellness.

I had another email sent to me from a nurse responding to one of my articles. Her comments struck me; "I try to push out negative thoughts instead of letting them fester - that's hard. I find I am sucked into conversations with coworkers about our negative experiences and I try to tell them 'Let's replace these discussions with the good, positive ones instead'."

Do you ever struggle with this? You are doing your best to be upbeat but someone at work is always trying to drag you down. A nasty comment here, some gossip there, and before you know it you are roped into an all out complaint session!

Since I've started on my journey of healing, at times, I feel like an outsider looking in on the "cool" group. I feel as if I am strange or weird. I've been through many life changes. I quit my job and began working with topics I was more passionate about. I re-found exercise and healthy eating. I practice stress reduction techniques. I am happier and healthier than I have been in a long while; and my thoughts and feelings reflect that! However, it is not always easy. At times I feel very alone.

One afternoon I was hosting a barbecue/meeting for my Nurse Practice committee. Co-workers were outside on my patio while I was in and out preparing food, making sure things went smoothly. I noticed when I sat down with them I started to feel fed up and irritable. They were constantly complaining, gossiping, and talking negatively. They were going on and on about everything that was wrong with our unit. I couldn't stand it. I then realized amidst my life changes and my progression towards healing; I was leaving behind those who were still where I used to be.

This happens often. I notice the scowls on people's faces, bad moods, and negative energy. I hear the complaints, gossip, and groaning. I wonder, "Is it really that bad out there?" My answer is, and continues to be, NO. There is so much beauty in the world. Nature is an awesome and amazing gift. Children play and babies laugh and smile. Volunteers and service people give of themselves unconditionally. We are fortunate to have what we have and should reflect on this every day. We should be grateful for our blessings and keep our minds upbeat and positive. Easier said than done; right?

Here are some things I try to keep my mind in a world of positive:

* Breathe: When I am around negative people I take a moment to focus and breathe. I clear my mind and body. Fresh air will slow you down and replenish your cells. I exhale out all the negativity as I exhale your breath.

* Say Something: This is tricky and takes practice. When I find myself around a lot of negativity and gossip I try to shift the conversation by speaking up. I may mention an objective observation; "My, we sure are complaining a lot today. Let's see if we can focus on each other's strengths for a few minutes."

* Repeat An Affirmation: When I am unable to speak up or remove yourself from the situation; I bring a mantra to mind. Try something like, "I am confident in the goodness of life to see me through."

* Learn From the Group: I know that each experience I have in life I am meant to have. Each part of my journey only makes me stronger. Each conversation or group is teaching me something. Maybe they are teaching me patience!

* Change the Scenery: I have found it is helpful to find a new group to be around. Sure, those people you work with or have known all of your life will always be there. But join a club, volunteer group, or work association where people are involved in things you like to do, who are positive people, and who are on their own healing journey.

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i really enjoyed your post. i have been a nursing assistant for 12 years and am going back to school for my bsn. i have noticed that keeping a positive attitude is difficult among my peers as well. when we have meetings or are together the discussion usually moves towards complaint. i have been asked on numerous occasions "what are you smiling about?". it seems that society is looking at a smile as a disease, if someone is smiling then there is something wrong with them. i have been an outsider at work because of my attitude as well. i wish you luck in spreading the disease of happiness and hopefully it catches on. the job is difficult and we deal with many unhappy/ill individuals on a daily basis, it is nice to know that there are actually nurses out there that can manage stress and be positive.

i had another email sent to me from a nurse responding to one of my articles. her comments struck me; "i try to push out negative thoughts instead of letting them fester - that's hard. i find i am sucked into conversations with coworkers about our negative experiences and i try to tell them 'let's replace these discussions with the good, positive ones instead'."

do you ever struggle with this? you are doing your best to be upbeat but someone at work is always trying to drag you down. a nasty comment here, some gossip there, and before you know it you are roped into an all out complaint session!

since i've started on my journey of healing, at times, i feel like an outsider looking in on the "cool" group. i feel as if i am strange or weird. i've been through many life changes. i quit my job and began working with topics i was more passionate about. i re-found exercise and healthy eating. i practice stress reduction techniques. i am happier and healthier than i have been in a long while; and my thoughts and feelings reflect that! however, it is not always easy. at times i feel very alone.

one afternoon i was hosting a barbecue/meeting for my nurse practice committee. co-workers were outside on my patio while i was in and out preparing food, making sure things went smoothly. i noticed when i sat down with them i started to feel fed up and irritable. they were constantly complaining, gossiping, and talking negatively. they were going on and on about everything that was wrong with our unit. i couldn't stand it. i then realized amidst my life changes and my progression towards healing; i was leaving behind those who were still where i used to be.

this happens often. i notice the scowls on people's faces, bad moods, and negative energy. i hear the complaints, gossip, and groaning. i wonder, "is it really that bad out there?" my answer is, and continues to be, no. there is so much beauty in the world. nature is an awesome and amazing gift. children play and babies laugh and smile. volunteers and service people give of themselves unconditionally. we are fortunate to have what we have and should reflect on this every day. we should be grateful for our blessings and keep our minds upbeat and positive. easier said than done; right?

here are some things i try to keep my mind in a world of positive:

* breathe: when i am around negative people i take a moment to focus and breathe. i clear my mind and body. fresh air will slow you down and replenish your cells. i exhale out all the negativity as i exhale your breath.

* say something: this is tricky and takes practice. when i find myself around a lot of negativity and gossip i try to shift the conversation by speaking up. i may mention an objective observation; "my, we sure are complaining a lot today. let's see if we can focus on each other's strengths for a few minutes."

* repeat an affirmation: when i am unable to speak up or remove yourself from the situation; i bring a mantra to mind. try something like, "i am confident in the goodness of life to see me through."

* learn from the group: i know that each experience i have in life i am meant to have. each part of my journey only makes me stronger. each conversation or group is teaching me something. maybe they are teaching me patience!

* change the scenery: i have found it is helpful to find a new group to be around. sure, those people you work with or have known all of your life will always be there. but join a club, volunteer group, or work association where people are involved in things you like to do, who are positive people, and who are on their own healing journey.

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Specializes in psychiatry, community health, wellness.

Thanks for your reply! It is good to hear that you also find smiling to be a good thing. Keep it up! We need more nurses like you :)

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i love your post so much.. i am doing my review for NCLEX-Rn exam but i graduated 2009.. yes i know its been a while since i graduated.. and i'm really scared to take my exam since i am not too confident.. but i'm still positive about it.. if my friends ask me if i am scared, i always answered them as "yes i am scared, but will it do good on me? i dont think so, so i have to be confident and i have to stay positive, thats the only thing i have .." i took lots of practice test questions and yes most of them are on unsatisfactory level.. i grief and i think that's normal, but after couple hours of crying and stuff i always see things as an opportunity to grow and be more positive in every aspect of life.. everytime my scores go up a little bit i award and recognize the effort that i made as a big thing in that way i'll keep moving up.. the more i acknowledge every little thing i do i am more confident i'll do better.. this is how i stay positive..

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Specializes in psychiatry, community health, wellness.

Hello Colleen,

Thanks for liking the post! It sounds as if you are really trying. If you admit that you are scared, but know that this feeling is normal then that is a good thing! You can admit the fear, but still be confident you will do well. You must acknowledge the fear because it is real and it is a part of you, but accept it and move forward to confidence! You will do great. Study and practice go a long way. Just keep telling yourself you can do it. The more YOU believe it, the more likely you will make it happen. Good luck and you will do great!!

Liz

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Specializes in Critical Care.

liz,

i have been going through this recently as well with my other half and the crowd at work. i have gotten through the part inside my head and am more positive than i have ever been. now, the hard part of helping others see the good in life is proving harder than ever. but, i think i am rubbing off on my fiance! just today she responded to a situation that would usually provoke a blowout but it didn't! I am also getting better at subtly directing negative conversations at work into another direction too!

I get so stoked when i can spread the positive vibes!

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Specializes in psychiatry, community health, wellness.

Hi Benm93,

Thanks for writing. I hear you... getting through your own head, thoughts, and negative ways and changing them is the easier part! It is then bringing that to others who are not so receptive that can be challenging. I am happy to hear it is rubbing off on your fiance! I am sure she will come around if you just keep at it; I know this from experience... I have watched my own husband grow, change, and blossom... now I hear him telling other people to think positive, that their thoughts become their reality, etc. It is so beautiful to see! And great work for you... subtly changing conversation directions at work. That is very challenging to do! Great job, I still struggle with that one at times. Thanks for sharing and I am happy you are out there sharing your vibes with the world. It is similar to a ripple from a pebble on a lake... the more we are positive, the more positive we see and get back.. and the same can be said for the opposite. So we ask ourselves, what is it we want to get back in return? Thanks again for reading and sharing!

Liz

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Its so nice to find positive posts on here! I am a pre-nursing student and sometimes the things I see here make me re-think my major. I want to help people and be a nurse soo much but when I see people complaining about being a nurse it makes me think I won't enjoy it. :(

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Specializes in psychiatry, community health, wellness.

Hi there hopefullyfuturenurse,

Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! I hear ya!! Nursing is a stressful and difficult career, but at the same time extremely rewarding, powerful, beautiful, and kind. I know you will make a fantastic nurse... because you are already open to healing, receiving, and caring for you. That is a key secret to being a great nurse. You must take time for you... you must be open to receiving (help, rest, care, teamwork, answers, etc). And you must stay strong, centered, and grounded amongst the negativity. The best way to stay within yourself is to create strength within so that external negative environments do not affect or sway you. Keep strong your nurse! Keep going. You will do it. I am so happy for you. Keep in touch if you need some more positive thoughts, ideas, and conversations. I am here for you,

Elizabeth

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