starting over and a nervous wreck :(

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I just recently moved from NY to CA a few months ago andhave been having a hard time dealing with the transition. My wonderful boyfriendof several years decided last year that he wanted to move back home to CAbecause he missed his parents and friends. It was something that we talked about at length beforehand, so I knew this was coming. We continued to date long distance and fly back and forth to see eachother, but being apart for weeks on end was difficult. We want to eventually get married and start a family and so I made the big leap to join him this summer.

I've never lived anywhere but NY and have spent my entirenursing career at the same hospital I've worked for the past 6 years. I left myjob as an Assistant Nurse Manager with a great salary, with a supportive bossand great co-workers to take this "adventure" - knowing full well that thiswould probably be one of the hardest things I've ever done.

And so far it has. I cry just about every other day. I missmy parents. I don't really have any friends yet. I spend most of the day in thehouse on the couch. And I still haven't found a job even though I've beensending out applications for almost a month. I wake up in the middle of thenight worried about money and paying bills. I've been applying to jobs (education,research, case management, per diem, etc) but the only call backs I've receivedare for other Assistant Nurse Manager positions- which I don't want! Although Ilove the hospital and people where I came from, the responsibility and stressof it at all was just too much and am looking to get into a job that's lessclinical if possible. I know that I'm a responsible dependable worker but I amterrified about working somewhere new. I also doubt my skills as a nurse beingthat I'm no longer in my comfort zone and I feel like I'm starting from scratchall over again. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I just won't take anAssistant Nurse Manager position but I know that it's not something I'll trulybe happy doing. Confused patientsjumping out of bed + another patient about to code blue + being short staffed andthe ER sending more admissions + impatient/unrealistic family members blamingyou for something that happened 10 hours ago + doctors that don't ever want toreturn your calls.... I'm sure you get the point.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I cried hysterically the other week just thinking about going on an interview! I'm a mess!! I don't evenneed a job that pays as much as my last job, I just want to be happy and I'mafraid its never going to happen here :(

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sorry for all the crowded words and symbols, I didn't realize my post would be re-formatted about I typed it!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Have you talked to a counselor or other mental health professional about this? You have undergone a seismic shift in your life---moving around from everything and everyone you knew, to live in a place you'd never been to among people you'd never met. BTDT, and I can tell you that a few months is not enough time to have adjusted to the move, especially if other things aren't going well either.

What does your boyfriend say about all this? It doesn't sound like he's being particularly supportive if he's trying to get you to take a job you don't want, or if he's blowing off your concerns about the move. I think you need to talk to someone about your anxieties; it's all but impossible to do the things required to get a job if you're paralyzed from fear. Please find yourself a counselor; you can start by calling your county health clinic, which usually has low-cost mental health and sometimes even life-coaching services.

I'm sorry, I really cannot offer you any other advice, but hope that you can find your way through this. I know it's hard. (((HUGS))) to you.

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What part of Ca are you in? There is so much to do out here. I was prior service, so I understand miving from a confort zone to differebt part if world without the close contacts. You are on adventure. Boyfriend do as supportice as he can be. He has his family and home area now. First get off the couch. Explore the town. City. Area. There us so much to do out here. Job. The marjet is so tight now we all can't get what we want. If money is tight, look for something that will help with bills and least amount if srreas. Best of luck.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Dear Sweetbunny, *hugs* I agree with the other commenters. You need to get out of the house, start to enjoy the freedom and beauty of Cali, and see a councilor. Being scared and lonely is completely normal in your circumstances. And jobs are really hard to find right now; it's not your fault! I can relate and can only say "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger." *hugs again*

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