1st Night Shift Loneliness

Nurses Stress 101

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I have been working as an RN on an acute psychiatric unit for over a year now. I have been lucky to have worked the full time and part time line. I found that the part time line was best for me. Both lines have a mixture of nights and days, most of which are grouped together. As a junior nurse working part-time, I tend to get most of the night shifts (1900-0700). I usually don't mind them with the exception of my first night shift. See, usually the way it works out is that my SO works steady days 530am-9pm on a 5,5,4 schedule. For some reason, my double or triple nights almost always end up on his day shifts. As a result, I don't see him one bit for 3-4 days at a time. It's not that big of a deal and I know it's life, but it still kinda sucks.

So for my first night shift, we go to bed together the night before at the same time, just so we can spend a little bit of time together. I'll get up at 9-10am, run errands, sometimes hang out with friends then come back and nap from 3-5 if I can. What I am finding is that I have absolutely no motivation to do anything I enjoy on those days. A lot of the time my best friend is at work (right now she is out of town), my mom works and most of my friends are at work during this time. I know that exercise would help boost my mood (which I usually do on a daily basis), but I just can't bring myself to go about this. If anyone knows what it is like to feel lonely and depressed, you know that it can be hard to get yourself to do anything. After my 1st night I am OK because I sleep most of the day then I'm back to work. Any suggestions as to how to get through this first night shift without feeling so lonely would help. Maybe it's just me and it's something that I will face for the rest of my life....

Specializes in medicine, oncology, telemetry.

I feel like I could have written the same exact post. I am miserable working nights. The first night is definitely the hardest. I am not motivated to exercise and run errands that day. I lay on the couch/bed and watch tv feeling sorry for myself. I stay up late the night before so I can attempt to sleep all day, but then I don't go to bed with my S.O. and it's a miserable feeling. You are not alone :no:

Thank you. Glad I am not alone in this. Some days are worse. I try to hang out with my best friend and her kids on those days to distract myself. :)

This is a sad part of nursing- the social life and special times with special people you miss out on because you're at work when everyone else is at home. I missed out on birthdays, christmas's, parties. Even the simple things, like curling up in bed with the boyfriend after a long day of looking after the sick and dying, I missed out on it- it's brutal. Some people are ok with it, others like me (and sounds like you) are a bit more sensitive to the loneliness and sense of alienation.

i ended up leaving hospitals with their shift work and crazy rosters and went into nursing homes. Community/ district nursing can also be more regular- infact there at many more regular hour jobs, like radiation centres, doctors surgery, endoscopy clinics, Often those kind of jobs have more regular hours, or let you pick your own shifts- I had a fortnightly roster that I negotiated and it remained the same, so I could at least plan ahead. It was wonderful to be able to memorise the same roster and say "yes I can come to your party, yes i have Christmas Day off" rather than having to answer with "the roster isn't out yet, I don't know". I negotiated a roster without nightshift (many places have staff who actually want to work nightshift) as I found the disruption to my sleep, and the insane hours, contributed massively to feelings of depression, loneliness, sadness. I would find myself crying hopelessly at 3 in the morning, and I have underlying depression so it just was a disaster.

it sucks. Try to make "appointments" with your friends and significant partner- like arrange times/ days to see thm- I made firm rules with myself like "must see my best friend every week". "Must pick up a hobby and ask for a regular evening off so I can do that hobby", "must have a day with my boyfriend every week where we go see a movie, or explore the town or play in the park"

basically, work is scheduled, and then we schedule sleep and eating and other daily necessities around it. It's amazing how quickly the things that aren't scheduled get neglected because we are tired- but they're the most important- friendships,relationships, hobbies, family. It will keep you sane and happy. And when you do have the first night shift loneliness, you can think of the lovely memories of what you and your friends did on your day off, and what you have planned for your next day (you can even. spend those lonely hours planning what to do with your days off!!)

to to this day, I still flat out refuse to work Sundays- because no matter what, that is the day I reserve to spend with my partner and/ or family because it's his only reliable day off.

My old job I worked graveyards the first 9 months before moving to evenings and then to days 5 years later. It really is about prioritizing and self discipline on your part.

True you work when most people are asleep and want to hang out when everyone works but if you can manage a 3/12 schedule then that should leave you 4 days out of the week to still hang out with the rest of society.

Have a to-do list helps me stay motivated toward accomplishing whatever I need to do.

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