sometimes this job breaks my heart.

[nola1202]

Sometimes LTC patients just break my heart. The ones who just want a ride home so they can take care of their young children. The one who fell flat on her face and has a huge bruise but doesn't remember falling. She said "I fell again?" I can't remember doing it, but my head, neck back, butt and knees hurt. A few minutes later she doesn't remember why she hurts. The woman who crys at bedtime. The man who keeps looking for his wife (she just visited, he doesn't remember she was just there.)

I could go on but I bet you have some heartbreakers too. Tell us about your favorite and least favorite and any interventions that seemed to help a little. Thanks.

[catlvr]

Yes, this job can break my heart! I freely tell my LTC patients that I love them, because I do love them! I know that we are to have professional boundaries, but I am working in their home, and I've known some of them for years. The lady who cries at night because she misses her husband, home, and dog, I usually sit with for a few minutes and we talk; that seems to help her.

We had a dementia specialist tell us a few months ago that for those who perseverate on something that they need closure, and to forget about reorientation and redirection. We've got a gent with dementia who just wants to go home to take care of his wife (she's dead, and he spent several years in jail, so I certainly do understand the anxiety); I've tried telling him that he's a good man who always took care of his family and that they love him very much; not sure if this is working, but nothing else has yet, either.

We had the joy former nurse with a hideous disease that took her body but not her mind - and her face lit up when I asked her for nursing advice (whether I was going to take it or not). She died a few months ago, and I miss her so much. She had the kindest spirit and quite a sense of dry humor.

I could go on and on. LTC is a *hard* job, but I've become a much better person for doing it.

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Sometimes LTC patients just break my heart. The ones who just want a ride home so they can take care of their young children. The one who fell flat on her face and has a huge bruise but doesn't remember falling. She said "I fell again?" I can't remember doing it, but my head, neck back, butt and knees hurt. A few minutes later she doesn't remember why she hurts. The woman who crys at bedtime. The man who keeps looking for his wife (she just visited, he doesn't remember she was just there.)

I could go on but I bet you have some heartbreakers too. Tell us about your favorite and least favorite and any interventions that seemed to help a little. Thanks.

[NamasteNurse, BSN, RN]

I hear ya! Your stories are pretty common. At my facility we try to see things through the resident's eyes, even though it can be annoying to go over the same story again and again.

The man who forgets his wife just visited, we let him call her, and it usually calms him down. We empathize, saying "it makes you sad when she leaves". Yeah it takes time and often awakens emotions we'd rather not deal with. Dementia patients, I'm sure you have noticed have behaviors that often mirror their emotions, which they forget how to express in socially acceptable ways. Try to see the emotion behind the behavior and deal with that by acknowledging it.

The reward is getting through something and seeing that wrinkled smile when you arrive. The oldies can also tell a good heart and you have one! Their families will come to love you and appreciate your kindness, as not all LTC workers feel this way. It will be this that keeps you coming back because even though it's sad, you are helping people through a very rough time in life and it matters. Think of their feelings, and while you're at work, put your own aside. Share your sadness with us and a loved one who can understand, and at work, put on your happy face. Love what you do!

Namaste