So, I'm sure many of you have read the various threads around here such as:
1. Things you'd like to tell your co-workers/fellow students/charge nurse etc.
2. Do nurses eat their young?
3. Drama at work
I'm a new nursing student as of this semester, and between reading these types of posts, talking to my sister who is a nurse, and spending time at the hospital, I believe I might have gained some insight as to why some people view the field of nursing as so vicious and hateful:
Everyone thinks the other people are causing the problem...never themselves!
Has it ever occured to you, that the people griping about all the 'dumb' and 'worthless' people they have to deal with at work and school might be talking about you? It never seems to be the case in these threads. Everyone spends post after post talking about how everyone sucks but themselves, and never considering that they are speaking about fellow human beings who are just as worthy of compassion and understanding as our patients.
Since I am a new student nurse, we are spending a lot of time talking about things like compassion, ethics, and our interpersonal skills. Isn't this information taught for a reason? It doesn't only apply to our patients, no?
What is it about the field of nursing that makes nurses so awful to each other? During the course of my life, I have already had several different hobbies, experiences and jobs. I have:
1. Played baseball semi-professionally. Was offered a spot on a minor league team.
2. Been a claims adjustor
3. Toured with many bands across the country playing drums and bass, and done production work in a studio.
4. Worked at a helpdesk, and gotten certified as a network administrator.
I bring this up only to wonder aloud what is it about nursing that makes this environment so hateful? I have never experienced the kind of competitiveness, hostility, rumor-mongering and outright stroke-causing anger as I have when pursuing a nursing degree. Based on what I have read here, and seen and heard from other nurses, it only gets worse when one enters the field itself.
Why? Is there no compassion and empathy left over for each other, once we are done with our patients?
Many people here angrily shout at people who dare to mention the 'nursing shortage'. Why is that? Why are so many of you so hateful saying things like 'schools these days are just churning out the worst grads ever!' What is different now than when you were in school? Yes, there is a nursing shortage. This has nothing to do with why there is a shortage. That is not the issue, and you do yourself a disservice and undermine nursing when you gripe at a new nurse who is rightfully under the impression that their career choice is valuable and in demand. What on earth motivates that type of behavior? As I said, I am fairly experienced for my age and I have never EVER seen this type of attitude in any other career. Consider that you might be contributing to the shortage by being so awful towards someone who is simply looking for information!
I know this post is somewhat of a ramble, and I am sorry for that. But I am proud of my choice to become a nurse, and I hope that I can help to contribute a positive atmosphere both in my class and in my place of work. Please consider that when you gripe about anything and everything having to do with your work and school, that someone else might be just as unfairly angry and hateful of YOU, and I'm sure that is not a good feeling for you.
P.S. Plato reminds us, "be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".
Some never realize it. Like my instructor said in nursing you have to be the bad (undercovergood) guy. In my case I can see why some nurses are the way they are, they are attacked all the time; how can you stay happy for-the-good-of-the-patient when all they want to do is give you trouble. Its frustrating! But no job is perfect and when you are dealing with people anything goes.
Definitely no job is perfect! I guess I see nursing (and healthcare in general) from a different perspective than other jobs I have had. Mainly because I have been a patient a few times before, and lost my mother in a hospital. There were a few times I lashed out at the nurses who didn't seem to care for her at all, but I know now they were probably trying their best. I try to remember that, because I know how much I was hurting as my mom was dying...and I wasn't in a good state of mind. I try to remember that being sick sucks, and being the family of someone who is very sick sucks too.
I think that means that the responsibility to be the 'adult' shifts to the health care worker, who isn't ill, or losing a family member. Some people will be jerks (hell my first day of clinical today, people were incredible jerks already!) but I'm going to try and remember their circumstances, and see how that goes.
There was a study a few years ago that showed that 83% of nurses come from alcoholic families. We're all codependent, obsessive-compulsive, depressed control freaks. With estrogen! True story!
That's really depressing. I tried to find that study, but was unable. I wonder if it's online somewhere? My dad struggled with alcohol a little bit, but seemed to overcome it by the time I was a teenager. I don't think I'd quite classify that as alcoholic. He did come close though.
I bet a lot of different professions have similar backgrounds with regards to their workers.
I have worked in ER,OR,Corrections and a cardiac step-down unit and I must have really lucked out because I have been supported and cared for by my fellow nurses. We work in such a stressful environment and usually under less than great conditions. We also get jumped on by patients, docs and management and yet most of keep going with the goal of giving our patients the very best care we are able to deliver. I had an instructor in nursing school that told me she felt nursing was a calling and I feel that is the case for most of the really good nurses you meet. I also think that many nurses are perfectionists and very demanding of themselves ( and others). You are responsible for someone's life and that is quite a load to carry while trying to be perfect at a job that can be described as juggling dozens of fragile eggs simultaneously. I have been a practicing for 20 years now and can say I am so glad I had the chance to become a nurse- everyday. I have heard the stories of nurses eating their young and worked with a new grad once who had an awful experience before coming to work on my unit so I realize your concerns are valid. All I can say is that I do believe that what goes around comes around. If you make an effort to treat others with dignity and compassion you will likely be treated the same. I congratulate you on your acceptance into nursing school and wish you well with your studies. It sounds as though the nursing profession will be lucky when you graduate because we will be gaining a thoughtful and considerate colleague.
Seriously, though, when I read that, I totally changed the way I deal with my coworkers, because I'm also the proud descendant of generations of drunks. When you start examining those dynamics and changing the way you react, it gets a whole lot easier to deal with.
I have worked in ER,OR,Corrections and a cardiac step-down unit and I must have really lucked out because I have been supported and cared for by my fellow nurses. We work in such a stressful environment and usually under less than great conditions. We also get jumped on by patients, docs and management and yet most of keep going with the goal of giving our patients the very best care we are able to deliver. I had an instructor in nursing school that told me she felt nursing was a calling and I feel that is the case for most of the really good nurses you meet. .
This gives me so much hope! I guess it really just is a matter of finding the right people and sticking together at all costs. If someone with as much experience as yourself can be so positive, I know I can do it too.
Nursing should be a calling, I agree. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the pay and other benefits, but at the end of the day, no amount of money is going to cure burnout. I think those are the types of nurses that are weeded out fairly quickly.
Koyaanisqatsi-RN
218 Posts
Definitely no job is perfect! I guess I see nursing (and healthcare in general) from a different perspective than other jobs I have had. Mainly because I have been a patient a few times before, and lost my mother in a hospital. There were a few times I lashed out at the nurses who didn't seem to care for her at all, but I know now they were probably trying their best. I try to remember that, because I know how much I was hurting as my mom was dying...and I wasn't in a good state of mind. I try to remember that being sick sucks, and being the family of someone who is very sick sucks too.
I think that means that the responsibility to be the 'adult' shifts to the health care worker, who isn't ill, or losing a family member. Some people will be jerks (hell my first day of clinical today, people were incredible jerks already!) but I'm going to try and remember their circumstances, and see how that goes.