So unbelievably frustrated

[OBplease]

...and heart broken. I have been in school for reqs. for 2 years, at the end of this semester. I have wanted to be a nurse for the last 17 years. I lack one class, which I had planned to take in the summer. I should be applying to my program A.S.A.P. and to another in three or so months.

I have children, and a husband, and a family who takes advantage of me (not the children) and who have basically all checked out on me unless they need something (I love to help my family, I just feel like I'm forgotten the rest of the time). I have been worried for the whole last two years about how N/S was going to work out with absolutely no help with children (except school and preschool, for the little one), for sick kids day and other random days, when clinical runs over, etc. I have expressed my concern to my husband and family before and during the last two years. They brush me off with it will work out but no explanation of how. They do not understand how strict the N/S schedule is and are not participatory in any sense right now with my children or myself, so hence no real faith that they would come through.

During a conversation with my husband tonight about a couple of things that have happened this week (for example, getting our boys to their baseball practices, which I do two of now, and taking care of the other children during all the practices and games, while DH helps coach one of the teams(practices have been ridiculously long this week and there have been pop-practices, last minute-early starts) I bring up how will this happen this time next year. I don't see how it will work out, there is no one else, how will I do N/S? To which he replies, "probably won't be able to do school during spring time." N/S!!!! Nursing school is all year round! He said he thought I would start in the Winter. I have thoroughly explained it is year round and it is not a flex schedule, you can not miss more than 2 days a semester at my school, etc. "Oh", he says, finally realizing, yeah, it's probably not going to work out.

I have wasted the last two years for nothing and I am completely heart broken.