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Discussion

SO off topic but...

Ok, this has nothing to do with nursing but I am so upset I dont know what to do. Here goes: My husband and I have both been married before and have children from our 1st marriage. My husbands ex has been nothing but a pain in the a** since day 1. He is the best dad I have ever see. He is great with his children from her, great with my kids and wonderful with our son together. He has paid every penny of support like clockwork. A little about her: She refuses to work, live completly off the government ( section 8 and foodstamps) and child support. We moved an hour and a half north to get away from her. She has had him in court for utter nonsense so many times over the past few years I cant even count (like over 20). She has lied and doesnt let him see the kids whenever something crawls up her... In the last year she has been hospitalized for mental problems and diagnosed with schizophrenia. A few months ago her 4 year old son was found wandering the streets in the middle of the nite alone and no one reported him missing until the next day. On one occasion I called CPS because the same son came to my home with a large burn on his face. He said his mother hit him while he was holding a hot tea bag.

She got mad at my husband and went last week to court to get a restraining order on behalf of her children claiming he abused them back in JUNE OF LAST YEAR. We now found out she reported this then but we were never notified, he was never charged or investigated and apparently the case was closed.

When my husband went to court for the restraining order, the (female) judge asked his ex what she wanted and she said " I dont want him to see his kids for 1 year" and the judge said...OK...and did not allow my husband the opportunity to defend himself in any way. She gave his ex wife a restraining order obo the kids for 1 year (he cant even call them). The judge also ordered him to a Batterers intervention program which costs $200/month and takes 6 months to complete.

I can not believe this. How can a judge do this, he has never been charged or convicted of ANYTHING, no criminal record, nothing. I am telling you this never happened and I can not believe she has gotten away with it. When he was on his way to court, I told him not to worry because anyone with any sense could see the truth. Boy was I wrong.

I know you will say get a lawyer, but we cant afford one. I dont know how we will pay for these classes. If he dosent take them he will go to jail.

Isnt this AMERICA, what about INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY? Is this judge ABOVE THE LAW?:crying2:

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    sorry for your troubles. as you are finding out the hard way, life is NEVER fair. yup, get a lawyer. the judge would never have done that if you had one.

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    That is what I was thinking, even the officer in the courtroom told my husband when he was coming out that she saw the judge was "out to get him" as soon as he walked in.

    I am finding it so hard to accept because it makes no sense at all. If I wasnt afraid of not being able to get my nursing license I would....:devil:...lucky for her I guess.

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    That is what I was thinking, even the officer in the courtroom told my husband when he was coming out that she saw the judge was "out to get him" as soon as he walked in.

    I am finding it so hard to accept because it makes no sense at all. If I wasnt afraid of not being able to get my nursing license I would....:devil:...lucky for her I guess.

    There's no question that this country has the best legal system of any country. However, with that said, there are MANY things that need to be fixed. It seems like more and more, the courts look for ways to make an absurd amount of money off of people. One of the ways they seem to administer "punishment", is to make people pay out money they don't have. I don't understand the correlation at all. I guess that's why if you have money, you are treated better (i.e. being able to afford a laywer, etc.), and if you don't, you are totally screwed. I would be as frustrated and upset as you are.

    The saddest part is the children. The mother is being spiteful and vindictive and in the long run, the children are the ones who will suffer, for not having a loving father around, spending time with them. I don't know why some women behave like that. Just know that in the grand scheme of life, 6 months is a very short time. I know that money is tight for everyone, but make sure that you complete whatever directives the court gives. Whatever you do, do not get on the judge's bad side. They have the power to make life miserable for you and I know you don't want that!

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    • Author

    Oh he has no choice, if he dosent do the program he goes to jail. I totally agree, the kids will suffer but that is fine by her. I didnt even mention the fact the she has another case against him that she filed last month asking the judge to order him to pick up the kids MORE OFTEN. A woman who believes her kids are being abused does NOT ask a judge to give the "abuser" more access to them. When my husband tried to bring that up (which I think proves the whole thing is BS) the judge said "we arent here to discuss that case". ***!!! It is totally relevant.

    I am trying to get to a place where I can accept this (so is DH) but I keep trying to rationalize it and then I get more and more upset. Hell, they let CHILD MOLESTORS have supervised visits!!! :uhoh3:

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