Single Mom in LA area?

diamondqueen · Jun 30, 2007

Hello Cjulian214,

I just graudated in May and I am about to move to San Francisco in August. I am also a single mother with two kids age 9 and 6. My opinion is this: anything is possible with some planning. Some things I had to consider is that the cost of living is much more in California than where I currently live and who will help with my children while I work. I also had to take into consideration that I will have no family there to support me (this is actually a plus in my book). Ultimately, I made the decision because I like adventure and I desparately need some excitement in my life!

I would suggest that you to do alot of investigation about the area and to ask alot of questions. There are some very good threads on this site and others such as craigslist that can be very helpful.

Good luck to you!!!

cjulian214 · Jun 30, 2007

Thank you for your response...its very encouraging to know that I am not the only one wanting to do this. My kids will be 5 and almost 3 when I graduate, with the older one starting school that august. I'm a little worried about how he will handle two big transitions so close together (a move and starting school)...and I am also worried about having no family in the area to help.

I search through this site almost every day and every day I find more posts that give me wonderful information!

I would love it if you could keep me posted on how your transition goes!

-Cara

suzanne4, RN · Jun 30, 2007

I much prefer www.rent.com to find something. You can input the area that you are interested in and then get a listing of things in that area. At least a good place to start with.

My friends use it even with travel assignments and have been quite fortunate in what they have found there. Me too.

jjjoy, LPN · Jul 2, 2007

If you're looking for more bang for your buck, you'd have to look well beyond the LA area. The hospitals wouldn't be as well known as UCLA but they still have the ratio law as well. I don't know the inland areas of California well as I am from LA but some places to look into might be Riverside, Bakersfield, Sacramento... someone out there help me here! I've also heard good things about nursing in Arizona.

A single mom CAN make it in LA, but it can be tough especially if you don't have any other support system when you first get out here. You might at first only be able to afford a two bedroom apartment and finding child care for the kids when you're at work can be a challenge. Even places with on-site childcare (few and far between) generally have waiting lists. I'm not sure where you're coming from so it may be like this where you are, too, but many communities aren't child-friendly (not lots of parks or bike-friendly sidewalks) and most people don't even let their kids walk to school. It's not that it's so scary and dangerous everywhere but LA is still very much a car-based area.

If I were a single mom, I'd be on the look out for single parent organizations that might help me hook up with other single moms so we could swap child care and maybe even go in on renting a house with a backyard together.

cjulian214 · Jul 4, 2007

Thanks for the advice! One thing I REALLY like is the new grad program at CHLA...it sounds amazing, and would prefer to get a job at that hospital, if possible.

Would it be better to commute in to CHLA (assuming I get the job) which is located at 4650 W Sunset Blvd from a less expensive area? Would a commute from, say, Van Nuys area, be doable? Is that area any cheaper? Is that area more family friendly?

Thanks,

Cara

jjjoy, LPN · Jul 4, 2007

Commuting from Van Nuys to CHLA is definitely doable and a pretty typical LA commute. The key is to avoid rush hours. You'd still have to factor in gas costs, possible delays from accidents, etc. Don't assume your work will provide free parking, either.

You could probably find comparable housing as that in Van Nuys a bit closer to CHLA, though. There are so many different cities and areas that I can't just list the possibilities. Most of us just drive along the freeway and have no idea what's on the other side of the sound wall, thus I can't vouch for the quality of different neighborhoods in the surrounding areas. If you have a friend in the area, though, you might want to start out near them and then scope out your alternatives from there.

I highly recommend a trip to scope out the area before moving and also to check out any rental accomodations first hand before signing any contracts.

CHLA does have a good reputation and seems like a good place to work. Good luck!

HeatherB,CST · Jul 4, 2007

As someone who raised two children in the Pasadena area, I strongly recommend against trying to build a good life for your kids in LA county. We moved to central NC two years ago, and I really did not notice HOW bad LA was until we left.

Housing here (NC) is about ONE FIFTH the cost, and we're still on the outskirts of a city the size of Pasadena. Salaries, however, are only about 20% lower. We are living better here with one inocme than we did there with two. My kids schools are so much less crowded as far as class size. They have much nicer friends, and for the first 6 months all they kept saying was "Wow, people are so FRIENDLY here!" They had never experienced friendly neighbors and a sense of community. As far as exciting goes, I can get downtown for concerts, nightclubs, restaurants, etc. in 20 minutes (vs. at least an hour in LA)

Another difference I noticed is how much slower kids seem to grow up here. I am not kidding you, in LA I heard 5th graders on a regular basis having conversations about who they'd "do", who was hot, or who was a slut. 10 year olds!!! :nono: Here, kids call me ma'am. I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED MA'AM IN MY LIFE, and my kids are picking up these good manners from their friends:)

I'm not saying you should move to NC, but please realize there are rotten things about living in Southern CA that are not readily evident when you just go visit. Don't even get me started about traffic, air quality, crime, and the pervasive materialistic culture that can make you (and your kids) feel like if you aren't rich, blonde and skinny with a BMW you might as well just give up. The funny thing is, I never realized how bad it is because I just got used to it and didn't know things could be soo much better. I wish we'd left 10 years earlier.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my LA bashing, I just wanted to give you another view. Go if you think you'll like it, but go with open eyes and a backup plan. That is my advice.

Good luck.

cjulian214 · Jul 5, 2007

CST,

See, thats something that I am very much afraid of. I grew up in a little town in NM (about 30,000 people) and of course my parents are telling me how screwed up my kids will be if I move to LA. Thing is, there's a TON of screwed up kids around this area...one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country and massive drug use, because we are so close to the border, people are so bored, and few people are successful...the areas economy is not that great.

Now, I realize that crime is higher in LA, air quality poorer, etc. But that is why I want to try and find an area, like Sherman Oaks, Westwood (I have no idea about any of these areas, just ones I've read about) that may have some sort of a community feel. I really want to try working at CHLA for the experience and to take advantage of the ratio law, since here it is 8-10 patients a shift on days, more sometimes on nights...and I think it would be neat to be able to take my kids to museums, zoos, etc and they can take advantage of so many more opportunities...ARGH. I'm incredibly torn.

And ESPECIALLY worried about whether or not we could be ok on one salary...

Any and all input is still greatly appreciated!

-Cara

jjjoy, LPN · Jul 5, 2007

Lots of cities have museums and zoos and the like. In LA, these are all often at least a hour drive from wherever you live. The traffic often only crawls on the freeways even on weekends. So while there are lots of entertainment options in and around LA, many people end up staying fairly close to home. There are those who don't mind doing a lot of driving, but especially for those with families, if you live in "the valley" (San Fernando Valley - where Sherman Oaks and Van Nuys are), most folks tend to spend most of their time there. There's shopping, restaurants, movie theaters and the like, but the museums and other cool opportunities aren't all that conveniently accessible by many people's estimation. Public transit's generally not convenient either and most places aren't within walking distance, so parents end up having to drive their kids all over for whatever activities they are involved in.

There are a few pockets of "community" in LA, but my experience is that neighbors generally barely ever see each other much less know each other. It sounds like you can find what you're looking for (a metropolitan area with more opportunities than where you currently live) without going to the other extreme of moving to one of the biggest and most expensive cities in the country. I'll bet there are other reputable children's hospitals in other exciting cities. More important than ratio laws is a facility that treats it's employees well and gives reasonable workloads with or without legal mandate.

Of course, come to LA if that's what your heart is set on. If it's just for the opportunities of living in a big city, though, there are more options.

cjulian214 · Jul 6, 2007

Thanks for the info :)

I guess I sort of zeroed in on LA because I want a big teaching/research hospital with a good reputation, both for taking good care of its patients and treating its employees well, and one that has a really good new grad program. I also do not want to go the east coast; I have some family in NM and some in Northern Cali and I don't want to go all the way across the country. I also have never had to deal with snow, so I figured it would be better to stay where I like the weather.

I guess I'm just hoping that the pros of LA will outweigh the cons, not just for my work environment (and i think CHLA sounds really amazing) but for my kids also...

-Cara