Shy / reserved new nurse

anotherone, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2012

I'm a brand new nurse. I'm not a very sociable person. I tend to be shy. I don't have a "strong personality" - as in extremely proactive, assertive, leader-like, and talk to complete strangers as if they're my best friends. I'd rather be the "in and out" nurse... do my thing quickly and leave. I mean, I do ask my patients how they're doing and stuff; I'm not rude. Any advice? Does it just take some time to get that outgoing personality? Maybe I'm just focusing so much on trying to learn everything... I'm SO overwhelmed. I don't know the smallest things - what to do, how to do it, when to do it, etc. I've had one big cry so far (at home).

I don't know that anymore than this is needed. When you aren't drowning ask your co workers if they need help. I don't chit chat with patients long either unless they start the coversation. I just to my job and leave. From my observations and expereinces shy people ARE often preceived as being rude, stuck up, snobby, covering up something, not as smart, other things. It is possible you may become more outgoing. Did you in other situations once you got more comfortable? To an extent I doubt it would happen otherwise of be natural. You might be able to fake it, though

Snowbird17 · Nov 1, 2012

Smile a lot, be pleasant and just listen. Most patients want to talk about themselves, because most people want to talk about themselves. If they do, ask a follow up question, all the while doing your job and then get out when you are done. Explain what you are doing and why, that is a big time filler and you will come off as knowledgeable and proactive. If you appear comfortable in what you are doing, it will go along way!

I am not shy or introverted, just don't come to work to be friends with patients or their families. I have a hard time faking interest in them personally.

You can be successful with a shy personality. The trick is not to come off as rude.

Read How to win friends and influence people. Sounds stupid but it gives you pointers on engaging people without putting any of yourself out there! My brother recommended it to me and some of the ideas help.

If all else fails, go for the intubated and sedated.

SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS · Nov 1, 2012

People want to be listened to and feel that they are cared for. The quiet nurse can give the patient/family space to talk. If you can provide a safe environment for that, you will find that patients appreciate that on a much deeper level than the nurse that can shoot the breeze about the baseball game, the weather, etc.

You don't have to change your personality but active listening can be learned. Another thing that has helped me is reading more of the nursing theorists that wrote about the connectedness between people (Rogers, Porifice, Watson).

((hugs)) -- I've been there. It gets better.

LaceyRN12 · Nov 2, 2012

Thanks everyone. I'm a very active listener. I listen to their concerns and provide feedback. I also smile a lot. I've been told several times already that they love my smile and it brightens the room... that they don't like seeing people all serious and frowny all the time. It makes their day better. So that's a plus!